Prisoner
I've gone two weeks straight going to the gym religiously. This is usually when I start to waver, so I must be vigilant about going. Yesterday was my rest day. It was supposed to be today, but yesterday, I took a much needed nap instead. Like 3 hours long! And Sam napped right along with me. It was perfect.
I've been going to group classes there at the gym, which I haven't done in a long time. I did a couple before I got pregnant, but nothing since. I tell you what, though. Being in a room surrounded my mirrors really wakes you up to what you really look like! When I'm at home, even when I look at myself in a full-length mirror, it's generally from the front and side, with clothes on. There in the exercise room, watching myself move around, from all angles, it is an eye-opener. I am so much bigger than I really think I am. In my mind, I look very similar to the way I looked about 10 years ago. I don't weigh that much more than I did then, but the muscle tone is gone, and everything's sort of shifted around. I guess it's the combination of age, pregnancy, and..well, the fact that I hardly ever get any exercise.
I'm looking over at my son, who is just so small and young, and it makes me think two things: 1) I want to be healthy for him, and I want to be able to get down on the floor and play with him, and run around with him as he gets more active, and not hurt; and 2) I took the nice healthy body that God gave me, like Sam has now, and I ran it into the ground. There are so many people out there with disabilities and diseases. I am a relatively healthy person, with just a couple of minor things here and there. And I'm totally taking it for granted. If I don't keep going to get the weight off, it will eventually catch up with me. It already is. Just about everything that is wrong with me is due to the weight. Especially the joint and back pain.
It upsets me to realize that I wasted my entire youth being overweight. I know I'm not old by any stretch, but I don't fit into the "young" category either. I have gray hair and wrinkles, and my skin is losing its elasticity. It's a fine line between being able to wear cute trendy stuff, and just looking pathetic because I'm trying to look younger. I wasted my opportunities. I can't get that time back. It really snuck up on me, but it is, indeed, gone. The only thing I can do is grab life by the horns and go toward middle age with gusto. In four years, I will be 40. I refuse to be a prisoner of this weight any longer.
I've been going to group classes there at the gym, which I haven't done in a long time. I did a couple before I got pregnant, but nothing since. I tell you what, though. Being in a room surrounded my mirrors really wakes you up to what you really look like! When I'm at home, even when I look at myself in a full-length mirror, it's generally from the front and side, with clothes on. There in the exercise room, watching myself move around, from all angles, it is an eye-opener. I am so much bigger than I really think I am. In my mind, I look very similar to the way I looked about 10 years ago. I don't weigh that much more than I did then, but the muscle tone is gone, and everything's sort of shifted around. I guess it's the combination of age, pregnancy, and..well, the fact that I hardly ever get any exercise.
I'm looking over at my son, who is just so small and young, and it makes me think two things: 1) I want to be healthy for him, and I want to be able to get down on the floor and play with him, and run around with him as he gets more active, and not hurt; and 2) I took the nice healthy body that God gave me, like Sam has now, and I ran it into the ground. There are so many people out there with disabilities and diseases. I am a relatively healthy person, with just a couple of minor things here and there. And I'm totally taking it for granted. If I don't keep going to get the weight off, it will eventually catch up with me. It already is. Just about everything that is wrong with me is due to the weight. Especially the joint and back pain.
It upsets me to realize that I wasted my entire youth being overweight. I know I'm not old by any stretch, but I don't fit into the "young" category either. I have gray hair and wrinkles, and my skin is losing its elasticity. It's a fine line between being able to wear cute trendy stuff, and just looking pathetic because I'm trying to look younger. I wasted my opportunities. I can't get that time back. It really snuck up on me, but it is, indeed, gone. The only thing I can do is grab life by the horns and go toward middle age with gusto. In four years, I will be 40. I refuse to be a prisoner of this weight any longer.