Fic: And Every Inch You See
Title A Kiss is Not a Contract (4/15)
Rating R
Fandom Flight of the Conchords
Characters -
Pairing Bret/Jemaine
Summery Jemaine makes the bold decision to ask Bret for another hickey. Hesitant, Bret complies. Then they are both huge dorks.
“Hey, Bret,”
“Hm?” Bret looked at him as the credits for Albi, the Politically Correct Dragon played quietly. Jemaine tilted his head slightly and pointed at the bruise-like mark on his neck.
“…What about it?” Bret swallowed heavily, face flushing with heat. Jemaine smiled.
“Just wondering what-“
“I didn’t know it would mark!” Bret blurted suddenly. Jemaine blinked then smiled, ignoring the sting of his cheek. “I mean-“
“I was wondering what I’d have to do for a repeat.”
Bret gaped in an entirely amusing way. If it weren’t entirely fictional to say so, Jemaine would mentally comment that Bret was probably blushing to the very roots of his hair. Bret sputtered with words for a while, glancing at Jemaine, his neck, then the TV as he tried to sum up the words to ask:
“You mean that?”
“I do.”
“Uh…” Bret swallowed thickly, “Sure…”
Bret was timid this time, slowly climbing into Jemaine’s lap and looking at him with no small amount of fear. But Jemaine just quirked a dark eyebrow from behind his glasses and lightly placed his hands on Bret’s sides, almost a parody of their time last night together. And then Bret’s mouth was on the other side of his neck, kissing slowly and working into a hot, open-mouth sucking on the sensitive skin. Jemaine’s mouth opened slightly as he eyes closed and he relaxed back into the couch, making a smallish groaning noise. Bret slowly gained confidence and sucked hard on Jemaine’s neck, licking over the spot periodically and tangling his hands in the hair at the base of Jemaine’s skull. His breathing was loud and heavy in Jemaine’s ear, only adding to the numbing pleasure from having Bret on top of him, kissing his neck, and writhing. Jemaine would have to be completely asexual not to be turned on by this.
Right?
While Jemaine sat back and enjoyed this revelation, Bret was scared out of his wits. He was giving Jemaine, his best and oldest friend, his band mate, a hickey! He didn’t know what to think of himself anymore, practically whoring himself out just because he felt a little scared the other night? Disgusting. Bret resolved he would have to sit himself down and give himself a firm talking to after Jemaine stopped tasting so good-wait. No, after he stopped being a whore, he would talk to himself. This had nothing to do with Jemaine tasting good or smelling like old sweaters and grass fields in New Zealand. No, that was all entirely irrelevant and was definitely not making him whine desperately as he sucked and licked at Jemaine’s neck. Entirely irrelevant.
…But really, really good.
He soon fell into a rhythm on Jemaine’s neck, sucking in slow, languid sucks, then quick nips, and then licking it like a cat. Just when he started to feel confident in himself, Bret’s eyes flew open, realizing there was something hard and hot underneath him. His breath caught and his hands clenched in Jemaine’s hair when he realized what had happened. Jemaine was hard. Really hard. Because of him.
Oh flip.
“Jemaine?” He asked quietly while slowly lapping at his neck. Jemaine grunted a small noise, which Bret took for getting his attention, “Are you… you know, hard?”
“Uhm,” Jemaine swallowed and Bret watched his Adam’s apple bob, “In some ways, yes.”
Jemaine shifted his hips down, slightly, lying back further in the sofa, Bret practically falling on top of him. They came face to face and stared for a moment, as if they didn’t previously know the other was there.
“And in other ways, also yes.”
“Oh… well. How mad would you be if I just stopped right here?” Bret asked, dragging his thumb across a large, bright hickey. Jemaine shuddered.
“I’d be okay, I guess.”
“Okay,” Bret licked his lips and sat down full on Jemaine’s lap, lying chest-to-chest on him. Jemaine grit his teeth with tension.
“This isn’t bothering you, is it?” There was a smirk lurking in Bret’s voice. Jemaine chuckled and ran a hand over his face, under his glasses. “Ah, good. I’m actually really comfy, so-“
“Look, get off my lap, okay?”
Bret laughed, “Awh, no, it is uncomfortable. Let’s think why… Hm.”
Jemaine grinned with confusion and suppressed laughter, “How about the fact that I’m flipping hard and your boney bum is crushing me?”
“Would it help if I had a wig?”
“Shut up!” Jemaine laughed and knocked Bret off, onto the floor. He stood awkwardly, legs wide apart for comfort’s sake, and covertly adjusted his pants. Bret burst out laughing then, in spite of the terrible pain in his eye the laughter caused him. Jemaine snorted, covering his mouth and shook his head.
“This… this isn’t funny,” Jemaine snorted very charmingly and broke into uncontrollable laughter. Bret clutched his stomach, laughing to the point of pain.
“Oh… oh God, no, no it isn’t,” Bret giggled, standing up and scrunching up his face. The giggles were starting to wind down, it seemed and Bret moved closer.
“Oh… flip…” He breathed out, still grinning and looking at the hickey he had given Jemaine, “Jemaine, I gave you a hickey…”
Jemaine sniggered and nodded, “’S a good one?”
“Yeah, looks great…” Bret dragged the pad of his finger over it and watched Jemaine shiver. “Better than the other…”
“Well… thank you, then,” Jemaine said, biting back smiling too big.
“Oh, no problem.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, any time.”
“Really.” Jemaine tugged at Bret’s waist, hand glancing over a bruise. Bret’s eyes widened a bit, but he wasn’t terribly surprised. Jemaine was still aroused, after all.
“Well… not now.”
Jemaine’s mouth flattened into a line and he glanced skyward, silently wondering why God hated him. Bret sniggered and tapped his shoulder.
“I’m glad you think it’s funny. It’s kind of annoying, actually.”
“Sorry, sorry. I… well, I like you a whole lot, Jemaine. Obviously. I gave you two hickeys. But…”
“I get it,” Jemaine shrugged, letting go of Bret’s waist. Bret smiled and tilted his head, “I guess I just want to get off. I mean, you’re cute and everything-“
“Yeah, I know. Weedy and beardy.”
“No! See, that doesn’t bother me. Not much,” Jemaine chewed his lip and shifted on his feet, “People just don’t… think when they’re horny,”
“…What?”
Jemaine sighed loudly, “I was just thinking that I needed to get off, you were there, so you’d help. Like if you were horny and you saw a naked lady and think, ‘yeah, she’s hot, she’ll definitely help’ and… well. Yeah.”
“You think I’m hot?”
“Like a curry.” Jemaine said confidently, ignoring the nagging inner voice that feebly tried to make the case that he was heterosexual.
“Oh!” Bret brightened at the allusion to his song, “So you wanna boom like it’s never been done?”
“Bust a move,” Jemaine said.
“Like the click, boom of a gun!” They said together. Bret laughed and hugged Jemaine. But the moment didn’t go pass Jemaine without him realizing just how utterly nerdy they were. Whatever, he thought and hugged Bret close, thinking of anything besides how warm he was against him and how aroused he still was.
“It’s weird, you know,” Bret said after a moment of silence, “My best friend thinks I’m hot. And I gave him two hickeys.”
Jemaine shrugged, “It’s New York.”
Bret laughed and pulled back, glancing down to Jemaine’s lips. He bit his own, thinking about kissing Jemaine properly. But he’d wait until Jemaine’s problem was gone. That was only polite.
“So…” Jemaine shrugged, pulling from the hug and shifting his hips. The bulge was nearly gone now, which comforted Bret.
“I’m tired,” Bret admitted, rubbing his arm, “I’m going to go to bed. See you in the morning?”
“Yeah. I’m going to get something to eat, though.”
“Alright. Good night, Jemaine,” Bret went off into the bedroom and gathered his clothes to change into. Jemaine watched him with a smile.
“Good night, Bret.”
Rating R
Fandom Flight of the Conchords
Characters -
Pairing Bret/Jemaine
Summery Jemaine makes the bold decision to ask Bret for another hickey. Hesitant, Bret complies. Then they are both huge dorks.
“Hey, Bret,”
“Hm?” Bret looked at him as the credits for Albi, the Politically Correct Dragon played quietly. Jemaine tilted his head slightly and pointed at the bruise-like mark on his neck.
“…What about it?” Bret swallowed heavily, face flushing with heat. Jemaine smiled.
“Just wondering what-“
“I didn’t know it would mark!” Bret blurted suddenly. Jemaine blinked then smiled, ignoring the sting of his cheek. “I mean-“
“I was wondering what I’d have to do for a repeat.”
Bret gaped in an entirely amusing way. If it weren’t entirely fictional to say so, Jemaine would mentally comment that Bret was probably blushing to the very roots of his hair. Bret sputtered with words for a while, glancing at Jemaine, his neck, then the TV as he tried to sum up the words to ask:
“You mean that?”
“I do.”
“Uh…” Bret swallowed thickly, “Sure…”
Bret was timid this time, slowly climbing into Jemaine’s lap and looking at him with no small amount of fear. But Jemaine just quirked a dark eyebrow from behind his glasses and lightly placed his hands on Bret’s sides, almost a parody of their time last night together. And then Bret’s mouth was on the other side of his neck, kissing slowly and working into a hot, open-mouth sucking on the sensitive skin. Jemaine’s mouth opened slightly as he eyes closed and he relaxed back into the couch, making a smallish groaning noise. Bret slowly gained confidence and sucked hard on Jemaine’s neck, licking over the spot periodically and tangling his hands in the hair at the base of Jemaine’s skull. His breathing was loud and heavy in Jemaine’s ear, only adding to the numbing pleasure from having Bret on top of him, kissing his neck, and writhing. Jemaine would have to be completely asexual not to be turned on by this.
Right?
While Jemaine sat back and enjoyed this revelation, Bret was scared out of his wits. He was giving Jemaine, his best and oldest friend, his band mate, a hickey! He didn’t know what to think of himself anymore, practically whoring himself out just because he felt a little scared the other night? Disgusting. Bret resolved he would have to sit himself down and give himself a firm talking to after Jemaine stopped tasting so good-wait. No, after he stopped being a whore, he would talk to himself. This had nothing to do with Jemaine tasting good or smelling like old sweaters and grass fields in New Zealand. No, that was all entirely irrelevant and was definitely not making him whine desperately as he sucked and licked at Jemaine’s neck. Entirely irrelevant.
…But really, really good.
He soon fell into a rhythm on Jemaine’s neck, sucking in slow, languid sucks, then quick nips, and then licking it like a cat. Just when he started to feel confident in himself, Bret’s eyes flew open, realizing there was something hard and hot underneath him. His breath caught and his hands clenched in Jemaine’s hair when he realized what had happened. Jemaine was hard. Really hard. Because of him.
Oh flip.
“Jemaine?” He asked quietly while slowly lapping at his neck. Jemaine grunted a small noise, which Bret took for getting his attention, “Are you… you know, hard?”
“Uhm,” Jemaine swallowed and Bret watched his Adam’s apple bob, “In some ways, yes.”
Jemaine shifted his hips down, slightly, lying back further in the sofa, Bret practically falling on top of him. They came face to face and stared for a moment, as if they didn’t previously know the other was there.
“And in other ways, also yes.”
“Oh… well. How mad would you be if I just stopped right here?” Bret asked, dragging his thumb across a large, bright hickey. Jemaine shuddered.
“I’d be okay, I guess.”
“Okay,” Bret licked his lips and sat down full on Jemaine’s lap, lying chest-to-chest on him. Jemaine grit his teeth with tension.
“This isn’t bothering you, is it?” There was a smirk lurking in Bret’s voice. Jemaine chuckled and ran a hand over his face, under his glasses. “Ah, good. I’m actually really comfy, so-“
“Look, get off my lap, okay?”
Bret laughed, “Awh, no, it is uncomfortable. Let’s think why… Hm.”
Jemaine grinned with confusion and suppressed laughter, “How about the fact that I’m flipping hard and your boney bum is crushing me?”
“Would it help if I had a wig?”
“Shut up!” Jemaine laughed and knocked Bret off, onto the floor. He stood awkwardly, legs wide apart for comfort’s sake, and covertly adjusted his pants. Bret burst out laughing then, in spite of the terrible pain in his eye the laughter caused him. Jemaine snorted, covering his mouth and shook his head.
“This… this isn’t funny,” Jemaine snorted very charmingly and broke into uncontrollable laughter. Bret clutched his stomach, laughing to the point of pain.
“Oh… oh God, no, no it isn’t,” Bret giggled, standing up and scrunching up his face. The giggles were starting to wind down, it seemed and Bret moved closer.
“Oh… flip…” He breathed out, still grinning and looking at the hickey he had given Jemaine, “Jemaine, I gave you a hickey…”
Jemaine sniggered and nodded, “’S a good one?”
“Yeah, looks great…” Bret dragged the pad of his finger over it and watched Jemaine shiver. “Better than the other…”
“Well… thank you, then,” Jemaine said, biting back smiling too big.
“Oh, no problem.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, any time.”
“Really.” Jemaine tugged at Bret’s waist, hand glancing over a bruise. Bret’s eyes widened a bit, but he wasn’t terribly surprised. Jemaine was still aroused, after all.
“Well… not now.”
Jemaine’s mouth flattened into a line and he glanced skyward, silently wondering why God hated him. Bret sniggered and tapped his shoulder.
“I’m glad you think it’s funny. It’s kind of annoying, actually.”
“Sorry, sorry. I… well, I like you a whole lot, Jemaine. Obviously. I gave you two hickeys. But…”
“I get it,” Jemaine shrugged, letting go of Bret’s waist. Bret smiled and tilted his head, “I guess I just want to get off. I mean, you’re cute and everything-“
“Yeah, I know. Weedy and beardy.”
“No! See, that doesn’t bother me. Not much,” Jemaine chewed his lip and shifted on his feet, “People just don’t… think when they’re horny,”
“…What?”
Jemaine sighed loudly, “I was just thinking that I needed to get off, you were there, so you’d help. Like if you were horny and you saw a naked lady and think, ‘yeah, she’s hot, she’ll definitely help’ and… well. Yeah.”
“You think I’m hot?”
“Like a curry.” Jemaine said confidently, ignoring the nagging inner voice that feebly tried to make the case that he was heterosexual.
“Oh!” Bret brightened at the allusion to his song, “So you wanna boom like it’s never been done?”
“Bust a move,” Jemaine said.
“Like the click, boom of a gun!” They said together. Bret laughed and hugged Jemaine. But the moment didn’t go pass Jemaine without him realizing just how utterly nerdy they were. Whatever, he thought and hugged Bret close, thinking of anything besides how warm he was against him and how aroused he still was.
“It’s weird, you know,” Bret said after a moment of silence, “My best friend thinks I’m hot. And I gave him two hickeys.”
Jemaine shrugged, “It’s New York.”
Bret laughed and pulled back, glancing down to Jemaine’s lips. He bit his own, thinking about kissing Jemaine properly. But he’d wait until Jemaine’s problem was gone. That was only polite.
“So…” Jemaine shrugged, pulling from the hug and shifting his hips. The bulge was nearly gone now, which comforted Bret.
“I’m tired,” Bret admitted, rubbing his arm, “I’m going to go to bed. See you in the morning?”
“Yeah. I’m going to get something to eat, though.”
“Alright. Good night, Jemaine,” Bret went off into the bedroom and gathered his clothes to change into. Jemaine watched him with a smile.
“Good night, Bret.”