It's all about snakes. On a plane.
Dear manager/ess of the Open Air Cinema,
It was with great eagerness that I scoured your scheduled movies programming for July. Try to imagine for a moment my disappointment when I found that you have scheduled not a single showing for this coming Summer's blockbuster-to-be movie "Snakes on a Plane".
This is an outrage.
The movie "Snakes on a Plane" (directed by David Richard Ellis, famed assistant director of the 1993 Madonna epic "Body of Evidence) is about snakes, on a plane. Snakes? On a plane? Awesome! It stars the incredibly versatile Mr Samuel L. Jackson, whom I found simply amazing in "The Green Mile" and of course the cult classic "Reservoir Dogs". I actually had the pleasure of catching Jackson on a rerun of "The Actor's Studio" the other night; people tend to forget just how much hard work and dedication these actors put into their craft and I was looking forward to experiencing more of Jackson extensive talent this summer. But alas - no! You had other ideas!
Therefore it is with great regret that I shall be staging a week-long boycott of your cinema, starting July 21st and ending on July 28th (I know that you are closed on July 28th and so my boycott for that evening will be merely a symbolic one).
I am sorry that it had to come to this, but I know that there are others who will stand by me.
respectfully,
Nance Cooper