A shot of shame
You know, I realize that smut is not everyone's thing. It's a big 'DUH' in the fic world. But it has its place and there's always at least one person glad to see it.
And I'm of the utmost belief that fanfiction written for adults should be well-written, carry personality and be unapologetic in its spirit. It should trumpet a message besides 'sex', i.e. sex can be fun, can be varied, can be a twisted tool, differ in intensity and subject matter; that it's ok to want to be safe and its ok to set boundaries. It's fine to touch, it's fine to explore, it's fine to tickle and bite and suck and leave it at that. That people have sex detached from any emotion and people bathe in the feelings that stir in them more than the physical pleasure itself. That it's used as a tool for love and hate and business.
Also, that there's more to adult fiction other than sex. There's violence and pain and tears. There's kisses and yearning and desire. There's the slow beat of comfort that comes with the familiar day to day.
And it can be funny. There can be corny words and over the top scenarios, but if it fits the spirit of the story then it's frosting on the cake. If anyone wants to read a sad tale of angst or an angry one full of violence, they can easily find those out there on the web. Sex and humor don't mix as often.
However, it makes me feel marginalized on lj when I'm ignored by other authors and readers when there's an NC-17 rating on my story. The traffic is there, simply most people don't want to leave their mark and associate with the filth. Suddenly my work became a dirty little secret and I wonder if I should feel dirty for putting porn to words.
Then on the flip side, I feel scolded on adult sites when people boo me for mentioning condoms. Yes, on mediaminer, years ago, somebody actually downrated me because they said I came off as overbearingly preachy and the condoms ruined the moment. HeLLO, that condom wasn't only about trumpeting safe sex (which it was); it was also there to symbolize Zell's need for boundaries in intimacy and that trust has to be tested and earned, which later happens and wouldn't be half as hot or engrossing if I had just jumped right into it. But no, reader from years ago that might not even be alive or even care about FF8, I had to learn not to cave to every critic to make my story work.
Sure it took me awhile, but look at my work now. I stuck to my guns and POW, now I'm a sharpshooter.
And I'm shaking in my boots about posting to aff.net. The FF8 section is active, there's one prolific author on there that has tens of thousands of words for her stories and still going strong with new, long chapters. She has a monopoly going on and I haven't been to the site in years, my last being a A/N promising more and delivering nothing.
So, on the one hand, I'm posting to livejournal and the S/Z comm and getting my story out to a handful of people (which I'm appreciative of) and getting good feedback of how much it rocks and on the other I have a target audience over at a site that caters to just my type of fic and I'm worried that they'll poke holes in my sex scenes and make demands to hurry up and stop tip-toeing around fucking.
I don't want to stop writing for another five years because of some comments and my own indecision to follow majority rule or strike out my independence.
And I'm of the utmost belief that fanfiction written for adults should be well-written, carry personality and be unapologetic in its spirit. It should trumpet a message besides 'sex', i.e. sex can be fun, can be varied, can be a twisted tool, differ in intensity and subject matter; that it's ok to want to be safe and its ok to set boundaries. It's fine to touch, it's fine to explore, it's fine to tickle and bite and suck and leave it at that. That people have sex detached from any emotion and people bathe in the feelings that stir in them more than the physical pleasure itself. That it's used as a tool for love and hate and business.
Also, that there's more to adult fiction other than sex. There's violence and pain and tears. There's kisses and yearning and desire. There's the slow beat of comfort that comes with the familiar day to day.
And it can be funny. There can be corny words and over the top scenarios, but if it fits the spirit of the story then it's frosting on the cake. If anyone wants to read a sad tale of angst or an angry one full of violence, they can easily find those out there on the web. Sex and humor don't mix as often.
However, it makes me feel marginalized on lj when I'm ignored by other authors and readers when there's an NC-17 rating on my story. The traffic is there, simply most people don't want to leave their mark and associate with the filth. Suddenly my work became a dirty little secret and I wonder if I should feel dirty for putting porn to words.
Then on the flip side, I feel scolded on adult sites when people boo me for mentioning condoms. Yes, on mediaminer, years ago, somebody actually downrated me because they said I came off as overbearingly preachy and the condoms ruined the moment. HeLLO, that condom wasn't only about trumpeting safe sex (which it was); it was also there to symbolize Zell's need for boundaries in intimacy and that trust has to be tested and earned, which later happens and wouldn't be half as hot or engrossing if I had just jumped right into it. But no, reader from years ago that might not even be alive or even care about FF8, I had to learn not to cave to every critic to make my story work.
Sure it took me awhile, but look at my work now. I stuck to my guns and POW, now I'm a sharpshooter.
And I'm shaking in my boots about posting to aff.net. The FF8 section is active, there's one prolific author on there that has tens of thousands of words for her stories and still going strong with new, long chapters. She has a monopoly going on and I haven't been to the site in years, my last being a A/N promising more and delivering nothing.
So, on the one hand, I'm posting to livejournal and the S/Z comm and getting my story out to a handful of people (which I'm appreciative of) and getting good feedback of how much it rocks and on the other I have a target audience over at a site that caters to just my type of fic and I'm worried that they'll poke holes in my sex scenes and make demands to hurry up and stop tip-toeing around fucking.
I don't want to stop writing for another five years because of some comments and my own indecision to follow majority rule or strike out my independence.