(no subject)
a girl came to talk to my living and working abroad class today about her experience studying in spain. she lasted 5 days and then came home.
i guess her story was that she had signed up for the program when she was a in a different position in her life. supposedly, she matured within the three years before going overseas, got a boyfriend, a good group of friends, and then freaked out right when she got to madrid. she got there, no one spoke english, and all she wanted to do was find a phone so that she could call her boyfriend. she said she called him and broke down into hysterics, just crying and crying and crying about how everything was so different and how she missed him. while she was talking, i heard myself subconsciously mutter, "wow, i'm so lucky vj and i broke up." hearing myself say that absolutely SHOCKED me. in the year that we've been broken up, and the 9 months since we stopped hooking up, never did i EVER think i would say that, let alone subconsciously think that. and then i started laughing. at first i was kinda confused as to why i was laughing, but then i realized that i have grown so much as a person and i still have so much growing and maturing left to do - and i have, literally, the entire world in front of me. and i am guarenteed to have an experience, not necessarily a good experience, not necessarily a bad experience, just an experience of living overseas and working overseas and traveling on weekends. and i'm so thankful that i dont have anything holding me back from this experience. and it seems almost funny how upset i had been, at one point, over not having vj in my life anymore. i mean, at the time, my pain was real - more than real...it was consuming my thoughts, actions, activities, etc. but realizing that my first love falling apart was probably going to be one of the most difficult times of my life really put into perspective that i can get through anything. and moving to a foreign country for a year, on my own...that's nothing compared to the emotional trauma and battle that i survived.
by the way, i'm still scared shitless that i'm going to be leaving the united states in about a month, for an entire year. like, after august 23rd, i wont be in the states until at least sept 1, 2007. like, i'm not coming back for a whole year. just thinking about that is...wow. i'm ridiculously excited, but scared shitless, nonetheless.
i guess her story was that she had signed up for the program when she was a in a different position in her life. supposedly, she matured within the three years before going overseas, got a boyfriend, a good group of friends, and then freaked out right when she got to madrid. she got there, no one spoke english, and all she wanted to do was find a phone so that she could call her boyfriend. she said she called him and broke down into hysterics, just crying and crying and crying about how everything was so different and how she missed him. while she was talking, i heard myself subconsciously mutter, "wow, i'm so lucky vj and i broke up." hearing myself say that absolutely SHOCKED me. in the year that we've been broken up, and the 9 months since we stopped hooking up, never did i EVER think i would say that, let alone subconsciously think that. and then i started laughing. at first i was kinda confused as to why i was laughing, but then i realized that i have grown so much as a person and i still have so much growing and maturing left to do - and i have, literally, the entire world in front of me. and i am guarenteed to have an experience, not necessarily a good experience, not necessarily a bad experience, just an experience of living overseas and working overseas and traveling on weekends. and i'm so thankful that i dont have anything holding me back from this experience. and it seems almost funny how upset i had been, at one point, over not having vj in my life anymore. i mean, at the time, my pain was real - more than real...it was consuming my thoughts, actions, activities, etc. but realizing that my first love falling apart was probably going to be one of the most difficult times of my life really put into perspective that i can get through anything. and moving to a foreign country for a year, on my own...that's nothing compared to the emotional trauma and battle that i survived.
by the way, i'm still scared shitless that i'm going to be leaving the united states in about a month, for an entire year. like, after august 23rd, i wont be in the states until at least sept 1, 2007. like, i'm not coming back for a whole year. just thinking about that is...wow. i'm ridiculously excited, but scared shitless, nonetheless.