"Ache" by jawbreaker
I believe in desperate acts.
The kind that make me look stupid.
(Look like a fool)
Just keep reinventing myself.
It's move or die.
(I change my form)
These days the people I love
are spread so far apart.
(All out of reach)
It's a thin sheet
Across the face.
(Cover me now)
That's pretty old.
I never felt like this before.
I say that every hour.
It's never going to be like it could have been.
Now it's just this room.
(Window looks back)
You're a big part of it.
But I don't care.
(You take the lead)
And can you really see me now
Like I made me?
(Made me anew)
Just like anyone at all.
Safer alone.
So right, so wrong.
Another winter's coming on.
You win, you lose.
It's the same old news.
(These things go wrong so often)
Pick up the phone
and punch your home code.
Somewhere, sometime let me make you mine.
Lean your head on mine
Like you used to.
(Used to your lean)
I don't mind if you're faking it.
(Make it seem real)
I'm not asking the questions.
I'm not demanding the answers now.
(Take what you give)
Right or wrong, just take me,
lead me on.
I'm going.
---
in 5 days, two years since you've been gone. summer starts with this memory. and all the memories until july scare the shit out of me so i never think about them. i still haven't thought about most of those things, and they leak out into my life like puddles of blood collecting under my skin. i try to face some of it, when i can.
i miss you so much. i think about the flashes of memory i have, and it's still hard. i accept it, i believe it, i know it, i know you're not coming back....and sometimes i don't feel it like i want to think about it.
i had a dream about you a few weeks ago, i was crying again and you were laughing at me. maybe you show up just to let me know you're still there. in the dream i'm always crying, and you're always laughing, as if to tell me, don't be sad, i'm not sad, there's no reason to cry.
i always wonder why you're laughing when the fact that you're gone is so sad, but i guess i'll never quite get it. never met anyone like you in my life, i don't care what anyone says or anyone else remembers about you, i really knew the person you were under all of those things. and i'll always love you for the person you were.
The kind that make me look stupid.
(Look like a fool)
Just keep reinventing myself.
It's move or die.
(I change my form)
These days the people I love
are spread so far apart.
(All out of reach)
It's a thin sheet
Across the face.
(Cover me now)
That's pretty old.
I never felt like this before.
I say that every hour.
It's never going to be like it could have been.
Now it's just this room.
(Window looks back)
You're a big part of it.
But I don't care.
(You take the lead)
And can you really see me now
Like I made me?
(Made me anew)
Just like anyone at all.
Safer alone.
So right, so wrong.
Another winter's coming on.
You win, you lose.
It's the same old news.
(These things go wrong so often)
Pick up the phone
and punch your home code.
Somewhere, sometime let me make you mine.
Lean your head on mine
Like you used to.
(Used to your lean)
I don't mind if you're faking it.
(Make it seem real)
I'm not asking the questions.
I'm not demanding the answers now.
(Take what you give)
Right or wrong, just take me,
lead me on.
I'm going.
---
in 5 days, two years since you've been gone. summer starts with this memory. and all the memories until july scare the shit out of me so i never think about them. i still haven't thought about most of those things, and they leak out into my life like puddles of blood collecting under my skin. i try to face some of it, when i can.
i miss you so much. i think about the flashes of memory i have, and it's still hard. i accept it, i believe it, i know it, i know you're not coming back....and sometimes i don't feel it like i want to think about it.
i had a dream about you a few weeks ago, i was crying again and you were laughing at me. maybe you show up just to let me know you're still there. in the dream i'm always crying, and you're always laughing, as if to tell me, don't be sad, i'm not sad, there's no reason to cry.
i always wonder why you're laughing when the fact that you're gone is so sad, but i guess i'll never quite get it. never met anyone like you in my life, i don't care what anyone says or anyone else remembers about you, i really knew the person you were under all of those things. and i'll always love you for the person you were.