Getting Older.
It's so scary to think that I will be 27 next year. 27!! My mom had me when she was 27, and that is literally three year away from being 30 and 30 means that you're dead.
When you are 30 you can't go out and be stupid, or else you will be considered a criminal. Even now, I don't feel like I can steal, or drink on the streets anymore, without the fear of the fucking police. And it's not even sure it is that I'm scared of getting arrested, it might be that I don't want the trouble, or pay the tickets? Who knows! It makes me feel old and lame. Age is a rut that just keep getting bigger and bigger. It's fine to get arrested for something stupid when you are in your 20s, but it's sorta just stupid to get arrested in your 30s. Especially for something petty.
Living in the city isn't helping me feel like "anything can happen" anymore, perhaps I've learned everything that I've wanted from this city and it's time to move on. I hate being comfortable, and Chicago is by no means a comfortable city, it's just I've developed so many ways of appeasing myself here. My fucking car has seat warmers!
Maybe it's just my neighborhood, or my apartment, I haven't lived in the same address for this long since my parents house. It's making me feel settled. It's also my job though, I've been at the same company for close to 4 years? however long I've been out of school. I never got that important "me" time between school, boyfriends, and first job. And now I'm going to be 27 and married. WTF!!
When you are 30 you can't go out and be stupid, or else you will be considered a criminal. Even now, I don't feel like I can steal, or drink on the streets anymore, without the fear of the fucking police. And it's not even sure it is that I'm scared of getting arrested, it might be that I don't want the trouble, or pay the tickets? Who knows! It makes me feel old and lame. Age is a rut that just keep getting bigger and bigger. It's fine to get arrested for something stupid when you are in your 20s, but it's sorta just stupid to get arrested in your 30s. Especially for something petty.
Living in the city isn't helping me feel like "anything can happen" anymore, perhaps I've learned everything that I've wanted from this city and it's time to move on. I hate being comfortable, and Chicago is by no means a comfortable city, it's just I've developed so many ways of appeasing myself here. My fucking car has seat warmers!
Maybe it's just my neighborhood, or my apartment, I haven't lived in the same address for this long since my parents house. It's making me feel settled. It's also my job though, I've been at the same company for close to 4 years? however long I've been out of school. I never got that important "me" time between school, boyfriends, and first job. And now I'm going to be 27 and married. WTF!!