Alzheimer's grip is so painful
I had a good cry tonight after Rebekah put Mom to bed. When I started to drive, I just wanted to numb the pain. I don't drink but wished momentarily that I did. I didn't think I could still cry. I balled like a baby. Mom is fading. I mean, she's all there sometimes, but she's so tired all the time. She enjoys things sometimes, but like today, she didn't speak all day, except to say thank you.
She's only going to get worse. This is the best she'll ever be anymore. The day will come when she won't get out of bed, I imagine. It's just so sad.
I drove away from the house, amazed she goes to bed at 5. I would have loved that for the past few years when the hours wore on in the evening. Now I only feel she's fading away.
I drove the way she always drove to go to work. It is really the only place away from the house that was a constant part of my life. I wanted to just stop and go into the office and see my mom the way she was many years ago. I went into that office so many times while I was studying on campus at UGA.
I called Mary and she just said a word or two of comfort as I cried. Eventually I stopped.
I went driving around, cruising downtown Athens. There was a huge Frat-Soc bash happening. I was fascinated. The girls all wore pretty little wispy dresses with little string straps and often cowboy boots. It was 27C tonight. Amazingly nice temperature!
Then I went to Olive Garden and had a Virgin Pina Colada and a house salad with bread sticks. $11.11 total!
She's only going to get worse. This is the best she'll ever be anymore. The day will come when she won't get out of bed, I imagine. It's just so sad.
I drove away from the house, amazed she goes to bed at 5. I would have loved that for the past few years when the hours wore on in the evening. Now I only feel she's fading away.
I drove the way she always drove to go to work. It is really the only place away from the house that was a constant part of my life. I wanted to just stop and go into the office and see my mom the way she was many years ago. I went into that office so many times while I was studying on campus at UGA.
I called Mary and she just said a word or two of comfort as I cried. Eventually I stopped.
I went driving around, cruising downtown Athens. There was a huge Frat-Soc bash happening. I was fascinated. The girls all wore pretty little wispy dresses with little string straps and often cowboy boots. It was 27C tonight. Amazingly nice temperature!
Then I went to Olive Garden and had a Virgin Pina Colada and a house salad with bread sticks. $11.11 total!