MAD LIB D&D VAMPIRE GAME part 1
Me and Robert have been doing a very long running D&D/Masquerade the Vampire Game for quite some time now. To keep the game going and to combat boredom, I took it upon myself to come up with a Mad Lib version of the game. Since its almost Halloween, I figured I'd write it in here. The mad lib words we used will be underlined.
VAMPIRE MAD LIB
On the way to Falador Carol and Elias encountered a gang of robbers. (Insert battle here)
The robbers were defeated but much to their dismay an unseen robber hit them both over the head, tied them up and stole all of their equipment.
Elias awoke alone in a kitchen with lots of grey staffs. He could hear fox cackles outside. He ran but he couldn't get out. He had been traveling with Carol to meet the Toreador clan in hopes to learn the discipline of body manipulation. But now things have changed. He was being held prisoner by unknown forces.
After waiting 6 hours, someone finally came to the room where he was being held. It was a strange hot man wearing a yellow corset. Elias was led by the vampire to another room. The room was coarsely decorated, large tapestries covered the walls, gold statues lines the halls, there were actors, artists and singers, many toreador vampires lived here. At the back of the room awaited a couple of men. They introduced themselves as Foxrunner and Boxley.
They approached Elias fast. We have a task for you, they said, it involves a rare artifact that only a man may acquire, for if a woman may touch it it will lose all magical power and that is why we sent Carol away. Do not worry she is safe but is being held in a secret place. You will be able to see here after you complete our task. If you do not complete our task, we will kill her. Realizing the seriousness of this mission, Elias could not refuse.
Now, what we need to do is dress you in the appropriate mystical garments, said Foxrunner. Do you see the checkered statue of Morrigu over there by the wall? This is our patron deity that we worship. It is all powerful and all seeing. We must honor it with a gift and a sacrifice. Carol would have made a great sacrifice, but since we are being so generous tonight, we are giving you a chance to find someone or something else in her stead. Also we need of you to go and find the hairy lamp of Morrigu. The Giovanni may know more about this object, you may go and ask them if you need help. It will be a difficult journey, you are not allowed to take anything with you, but may have to use various items as weapons along the way. Good luck.
Foxrunner and Boxley took Elias to dress in the sacred mystical outfit. Oddly enough it only consisted of leather trousers and a cloven bandana. Elias thought this very odd, but even odder still was when Foxrunner started to paint a tarnished white jackalope onto his chest using apple oil while yawning. Boxley ran around and laughed.
Then they both grunted in unison and sent him on his way down a dark corridor and slammed the door behind him and locked it tight.
Elias looked around and saw a peg and picked it up, because who knows when he might need this. He felt numb. That couldn't be a good sign, he thought.
After going 3 feet. He came to a fork in the pathway. An old bright woman sat nearby joking. Elias asked her if she might know anything about his task at hand. She only smiled and said no, I am only an old woman lost in these caves, go further you may meet someone better suited to help you. Go with the grace of Morrigu. Then she vanished.
That wasn't helpful at all. As quickly as she vanished 6 small squirrels fell into the room! (Insert battle here.)
Defeating them, Elias discovered $32 among the remains and a breadbox. The breadbox seemed to be pointed towards the northeast. So Elias went that way and continued on. This lead to a S&M room. He had no idea why a S&M room would be all this way in this tunnel, but he went inside to investigate. Inside was a slutty young lady. She was lying on a medieval type bed wearing only a squint and a sock. She asked him to flip her. How could he refuse! They did it 9 times until he was berserked.
She then gave him clues as to where he needed to go next. Follow this room out, go left, left, right, south and then west.. You will come to a sewer stream, cross it and go through the first door you come to. Ask for John. And just like the old woman, she vanished right before his eyes!
Elias journeyed onward following the directions the best he could. Along the way he injured his butt on a thumbscrew while wrestling over some logs.
He found the door. Inside was a large ballroom and there was the darkest man he ever saw in his life. He smelled like soap and was dressed in a flesh-colored jester outfit. He slurped, scratched his penis and stared at Elias' chest where the 2 toreadors had painted the tarnished white jackalope onto his chest. And he tittered so loud it shook the walls. "Oh my god, you must have fallen into the trap of those 2 damn toreador fools! Foxrunner and Boxley am I right?" He continued laughing. Oh yeah.. yeah.. here.. I have the "artifact". He went around a chair and lifted a wig and there it was. He held it up with a firm grasp. "Now.. If you want this item so badly, you must first jump my ear!" It was way beyond anything that Elias would ever want to do. But he had to, because Carol's life was hanging in balance. He did it as slowly as he could and then ran from the room!
Oh how horrible that was. But the ordeal was not over. Outside were 5 men ready to beat his ass for being such a Lesbian Ogre! (Insert battle here) ($60 and a dildo were found from the spoils of battle.)
Humiliated and degraded, he rode most of the way back. He remembered most of the route back, only got lost once or twice along the way.
Upon returning, Foxrunner and Boxley greeted him. They burned his clothes and flayed him. They then tied him to a water touture device. Boxley smiled in delight. It was his turn to play tonight. He found an expanding knife and proceeded to beat him. This made him very aroused. You could tell by his nose. He then mounted Elias and punched him in glee. All the while he had been hearing gurgles in the background as if people were watching.
Foxrunner announced out loud, "Oh Great Morrigu, we sent forth Elias, he was sent without weapons, but managed to defeat many, he was given bad directions but never got lost, he has sought out the keeper of the sacred item and had to jump his ear to get it, he has been sufficiently beaten and now he is to be sacrificed so that our god may be pleased and grant us with his blessings! Just then curtains dropped and there stood 14 followers of Morrigu dressed in lavender robes. 2 ran over and revealed the large statue from the front room that had been drug here. They took large axes and proceeded to destroy it to release a foul creature that was trapped inside. As you could imagine this took some time. Elias struggled and screamed. While no one was looking, he was able to get the peg from his pocket and use it to free himself. He burned free and attacked the nearest 2 men and killed them with ropes. (Insert battle here)
He then took out their leaders Foxrunner and Boxley with a bow he found on a trashcan. After the battle, he ran for his life, searched 17 rooms until he found Carol. He was hurt. He kissed Carol and they left for home immediately.
Stay tuned. More to come later.....
VAMPIRE MAD LIB
On the way to Falador Carol and Elias encountered a gang of robbers. (Insert battle here)
The robbers were defeated but much to their dismay an unseen robber hit them both over the head, tied them up and stole all of their equipment.
Elias awoke alone in a kitchen with lots of grey staffs. He could hear fox cackles outside. He ran but he couldn't get out. He had been traveling with Carol to meet the Toreador clan in hopes to learn the discipline of body manipulation. But now things have changed. He was being held prisoner by unknown forces.
After waiting 6 hours, someone finally came to the room where he was being held. It was a strange hot man wearing a yellow corset. Elias was led by the vampire to another room. The room was coarsely decorated, large tapestries covered the walls, gold statues lines the halls, there were actors, artists and singers, many toreador vampires lived here. At the back of the room awaited a couple of men. They introduced themselves as Foxrunner and Boxley.
They approached Elias fast. We have a task for you, they said, it involves a rare artifact that only a man may acquire, for if a woman may touch it it will lose all magical power and that is why we sent Carol away. Do not worry she is safe but is being held in a secret place. You will be able to see here after you complete our task. If you do not complete our task, we will kill her. Realizing the seriousness of this mission, Elias could not refuse.
Now, what we need to do is dress you in the appropriate mystical garments, said Foxrunner. Do you see the checkered statue of Morrigu over there by the wall? This is our patron deity that we worship. It is all powerful and all seeing. We must honor it with a gift and a sacrifice. Carol would have made a great sacrifice, but since we are being so generous tonight, we are giving you a chance to find someone or something else in her stead. Also we need of you to go and find the hairy lamp of Morrigu. The Giovanni may know more about this object, you may go and ask them if you need help. It will be a difficult journey, you are not allowed to take anything with you, but may have to use various items as weapons along the way. Good luck.
Foxrunner and Boxley took Elias to dress in the sacred mystical outfit. Oddly enough it only consisted of leather trousers and a cloven bandana. Elias thought this very odd, but even odder still was when Foxrunner started to paint a tarnished white jackalope onto his chest using apple oil while yawning. Boxley ran around and laughed.
Then they both grunted in unison and sent him on his way down a dark corridor and slammed the door behind him and locked it tight.
Elias looked around and saw a peg and picked it up, because who knows when he might need this. He felt numb. That couldn't be a good sign, he thought.
After going 3 feet. He came to a fork in the pathway. An old bright woman sat nearby joking. Elias asked her if she might know anything about his task at hand. She only smiled and said no, I am only an old woman lost in these caves, go further you may meet someone better suited to help you. Go with the grace of Morrigu. Then she vanished.
That wasn't helpful at all. As quickly as she vanished 6 small squirrels fell into the room! (Insert battle here.)
Defeating them, Elias discovered $32 among the remains and a breadbox. The breadbox seemed to be pointed towards the northeast. So Elias went that way and continued on. This lead to a S&M room. He had no idea why a S&M room would be all this way in this tunnel, but he went inside to investigate. Inside was a slutty young lady. She was lying on a medieval type bed wearing only a squint and a sock. She asked him to flip her. How could he refuse! They did it 9 times until he was berserked.
She then gave him clues as to where he needed to go next. Follow this room out, go left, left, right, south and then west.. You will come to a sewer stream, cross it and go through the first door you come to. Ask for John. And just like the old woman, she vanished right before his eyes!
Elias journeyed onward following the directions the best he could. Along the way he injured his butt on a thumbscrew while wrestling over some logs.
He found the door. Inside was a large ballroom and there was the darkest man he ever saw in his life. He smelled like soap and was dressed in a flesh-colored jester outfit. He slurped, scratched his penis and stared at Elias' chest where the 2 toreadors had painted the tarnished white jackalope onto his chest. And he tittered so loud it shook the walls. "Oh my god, you must have fallen into the trap of those 2 damn toreador fools! Foxrunner and Boxley am I right?" He continued laughing. Oh yeah.. yeah.. here.. I have the "artifact". He went around a chair and lifted a wig and there it was. He held it up with a firm grasp. "Now.. If you want this item so badly, you must first jump my ear!" It was way beyond anything that Elias would ever want to do. But he had to, because Carol's life was hanging in balance. He did it as slowly as he could and then ran from the room!
Oh how horrible that was. But the ordeal was not over. Outside were 5 men ready to beat his ass for being such a Lesbian Ogre! (Insert battle here) ($60 and a dildo were found from the spoils of battle.)
Humiliated and degraded, he rode most of the way back. He remembered most of the route back, only got lost once or twice along the way.
Upon returning, Foxrunner and Boxley greeted him. They burned his clothes and flayed him. They then tied him to a water touture device. Boxley smiled in delight. It was his turn to play tonight. He found an expanding knife and proceeded to beat him. This made him very aroused. You could tell by his nose. He then mounted Elias and punched him in glee. All the while he had been hearing gurgles in the background as if people were watching.
Foxrunner announced out loud, "Oh Great Morrigu, we sent forth Elias, he was sent without weapons, but managed to defeat many, he was given bad directions but never got lost, he has sought out the keeper of the sacred item and had to jump his ear to get it, he has been sufficiently beaten and now he is to be sacrificed so that our god may be pleased and grant us with his blessings! Just then curtains dropped and there stood 14 followers of Morrigu dressed in lavender robes. 2 ran over and revealed the large statue from the front room that had been drug here. They took large axes and proceeded to destroy it to release a foul creature that was trapped inside. As you could imagine this took some time. Elias struggled and screamed. While no one was looking, he was able to get the peg from his pocket and use it to free himself. He burned free and attacked the nearest 2 men and killed them with ropes. (Insert battle here)
He then took out their leaders Foxrunner and Boxley with a bow he found on a trashcan. After the battle, he ran for his life, searched 17 rooms until he found Carol. He was hurt. He kissed Carol and they left for home immediately.
Stay tuned. More to come later.....