Dr. Oliver vs. The Heinous Blackmailer - Chapter Four
Title: Dr. Oliver vs. The Heinous Blackmailer
Author: nancygrew
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Characters belong to ATWT\
Notes: This is outside of my usual "Amnesia" verse. It’s less of an AU [no Sentinel!Luke/Guide!Reid or WereDoberman!Reid/WereKitten!Luke] and more of a remix [Reid doesn’t show up in Oakdale until June 2010 and Luke has made a couple of wiser life decisions than in canon.].
Warning: Complete disregard for actualities of neurological conditions
Summary: Dr. Reid Oliver, Neurosurgeon Extraordinaire, gets his life hi-jacked by a ruthless and entitled brat.
Chapter Four
Reid knocked on the apartment door. The day before, Maddie had written her address on a napkin from that coffee shop, Java. Underneath her address, she had written, "Skipper and Maddie 4ever" in a heart. She had giggled uncontrollable throughout his questions about her psychological stability.
Maddie, wearing Wonder Woman pajamas, opened her apartment door and gave an enormous yawn in Reid’s face while scrubbing at her eyes with her fists. Well, her tonsils looked healthy.
"Not a morning person, Miley?" asked Reid.
"Mornings. They’re bad," answered a bleary-eyed Maddie while leaning on the doorframe. "They’re early. And bad."
"Excellent analysis. Shove over so I can move in."
Maddie shoved over. She waved an arm in what was either an invitation to enter or a signal to incoming air traffic.
"Oh my Hawking," exclaimed Reid in horror while looking around at what was evidently the scene of a flea market explosion. "Is that a bean bag chair?"
"Hey, I’m a poor college student," defended Maddie huffily. "And bean bag chairs are a classic."
"Classic hippy. You better not get patchouli all over my stuff. Oh, hey, are you poor enough to let me hire you to do my laundry?" asked Reid hopefully.
"Will I have to call you sir?" asked Maddie while she moved across the open floor plan of the apartment towards a counter with a duct-taped coffee machine. She flipped a switch and sighed happily at the gurgling promise of caffeinated love.
Reid placed his overnight bag on the purple and green paisley couch and walked towards the kitchen counter where Maddie had laid her head to rest. He opened cabinets until he found mugs. He removed two of the least chipped ones. They were both emblazoned with the words, "Soylent Green." He didn’t wait for the pot to be filled but instead held each cup, in turn, under the streaming coffee. He was a doctor and knew that there was no time to waste in providing the antidote to caffeine-deprived zombies. He handed one of the cups to Maddie who started in surprise that there was someone else in her apartment. She took a sip.
"I love you, Skipper," she whispered.
Reid rolled his eyes. "Do you remember that you just agreed to do my laundry for me?"
"I did?" asked a confused Maddie. "Wait, no, I remember. I asked if I’d have to call you sir if I let you hire me to do your laundry."
"Are you willing to call me Grand Master Brainiac?"
Maddie snorted. She glanced over at the overnight bag on the couch. "I’ll do your laundry in exchange for cash money. Are you having more clothes shipped from back home or are you going to buy some clothes for your stay in our lovely town?"
"I’m a terribly important, busy man. People’s lives depend upon me. I don’t have time to go shopping just because Beelzebub blackmailed me into coming to Mayberry for a few weeks."
"Blackmail?" asked Maddie with interest. "Was it about sex? All the best blackmail is about sex."
"My idiot uncle may have embezzled from his employer but paid it back with winnings from the dog races and Beelzebub may have found out about it and may be pure, unadulterated evil."
"That’s sweet that you’re protecting your uncle," smiled Maddie as she bumped shoulders with him.
"It is not. You take that back," hissed Reid. "I don’t even like him."
Maddie pushed Reid to her monstrosity of a sofa.
After they sat, Maddie asked, "If you don’t care about your embezzling uncle’s well-being, why would you let Beelie blackmail you?"
Reid sighed. "My dad loved him. As far as a I remember, it was the only dumb thing my dad ever did."
"Your dad’s dead?" asked Maddie sympathetically.
"My parents died," said Reid brusquely. "It was a long time ago."
"Sorry," said Maddie as she tapped him on the knee. "So, want to hire me to buy you a few changes of clothes. I’ll be interning in the morning at WOAK but I’ll have some free time after my last afternoon class."
Reid eyed the apartment with it’s riotous colors and duct-taped . . . everything.
"No," he said hurriedly.
Maddie giggled. "Do you want to hire me to get my big brother Henry to buy you a few changes of clothes?"
"Okay," said Reid. "Just plain jeans and button downs. And underwear and socks."
After spending time in shrewd negotiations about rent, laundry fees, personal shopper fees, they agreed upon a figure which left Maddie very happy and Reid resigned.
Maddie showed Reid his bedroom with it’s adjacent bath. There was a lava lamp on the milk carton being used as a bedside table. The bed was a futon. The bedspread was zebra-print. The rug was leopard print. There was a beaded curtain that separated his room from his bathroom. The shower curtain was Spongebob Squarepants. Reid suddenly felt transported back to his own college years. Man, he hated his college years. But then, Reid espied a wicker basket on the dresser. It was wrapped with a red ribbon and bow and filled with cleaning products. All of his favorite cleaning products. It’s like Maddie looked inside his heart.
Maddie gave him a key to the apartment. Reid was about to leave to get to the hospital, when there was a knock on the apartment door. Maddie opened the door to a tall man dressed in pin-striped, eggplant-colored suit and a bright yellow shirt and tie. Maddie gave the man a warm hug. Reid wondered whether Maddie completely lacked gaydar.
Maddie dragged the man into the apartment. "Reid, this is my brother Henry. Henry, this is my new, temporary roommate, Reid."
"No!" spat Reid and Henry at the same time. They glared at one another.
"You’re not going clothes-shopping for me," insisted Reid.
"Uh, okay?" babbled a confused Henry. "And you’re not living with my baby sister. There’s got to be something wrong about a middle age man who wants to move in with such a young woman. You’re one of those lecherous, pipe-smoking professor types who try to seduce young women, aren’t you? I bet you have tweed jackets with leather patches on the elbow."
"I’m gay; I have no interest in seducing your sister. And I’m not even close to middle aged, thank you very much," huffed Reid.
"How do I know you’re not lying about that?"
"Why would I lie about being gay?" asked Reid.
"I was actually referring to you lying about your age. As for the gay part, maybe you’re pulling a Jack Tripper trying to get Mr. Roper to let you live with his little sister," spat Henry indignantly with hands on his hips.
"Puh-leaze, with that outfit, you’re much more Mr. Furley than you are Mr. Roper," smirked Reid.
For some reason, that seemed to mollify Henry. A little. "Well, Mr. Furley did have much more sheer animal magnetism than Mr. Roper."
"And a much more courageous fashion sense," said Reid while bouncing a little on his feet.
"That is true," said Henry consideringly.
Maddie tugged on Reid’s sleeve to get his attention. "I take it you’d rather that I get my friend Hunter to pick out your clothes?"
"Hunter? What kind of survivalist whackjobs name their kid Hunter?" asked Reid
.
"You should meet his brother, Fisher and his sister, Dehyrdrated Rations," laughed Maddie.
After Maddie showed Reid a picture of Hunter, and Reid was assured that the kid didn’t dress too weird, he agreed to let Hunter pick out his clothes.
After Reid and Henry exchanged another suspicion-fueled glare, Reid went off to Oakdale Hospital for another day of brain-related fun.
After several consults, Reid was in the doctor’s lounge pouring a cup of coffee when Dr. Hughes walked in. Reid wondered if the Chief of Staff used some sort of special eye drops in order to have that twinkly-eyed effect all of the time.
"Morning, Bobbin’ for Apples," said Reid.
"Reid, I must say that you did a great job with diagnosing Mrs. Oleosworth. She’s been seeing Dr. Channing in Chicago for six months and he wasn’t able to figure out what was wrong with her."
"Well, Channing’s a moron. Even if you compare him to doctors less brilliant than me. Which is all of them."
"Well, it’s nice that I’m not going to have to waste any time in shoring up your ego," smiled Bob.
"Feelings of insecurity and inadequacy are for losers," sang Reid.
"I’ve been catching up on some of your recent medical journal articles," began Bob.
"Strain anything?" asked Reid. "They’re a little complicated for someone who hasn’t been in medical school since the Civil War."
"Oh, I muddled through," twinkled Bob. "I can’t say how happy our hospital is to have you here. I would love to chat with you about you moving to our wonderful, little town on a permanent basis."
Reid looked around the room. "Are there cameras in here? Am I on some kind of prank show?"
"Oakdale has a lot to offer," assured Bob. "At least, talk it over with your family."
"I’m single," said Reid.
"Oh," said a disappointed Bob. "You know, there’s more to life than work. Having a rich and fulfilling personal life is important. Having someone to come home to---"
"Spending my time cracking open skulls versus home and hearth? There’s no contest for me. Since I far prefer people when they’re unconscious and I’m cutting into their brain, it would make dating a little difficult. And illegal."
"Maybe you haven’t met the right woman yet," advised Bob. "Once you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, your priorities change."
Reid considered holding his hand up to Bob’s head to check for fever but was interrupted by a doctor walking into the lounge.
"Well, we meet again," hissed the doctor with the perfectly round head.
"We’ve met before?" asked Reid.
The doctor sputtered. "I’m sure you never paid any attention to those you stepped over to get ahead."
"Whatever," said Reid while checking his watch.
The doctor narrowed his eyes. "Dr. Oliver is gay," he blurted.
"Oh," said Bob happily. "I know a very nice young man that you might want to get to know."
Reid groaned.
Fortunately he got a page about a patient who was brought to the hospital because they had woken up speaking medieval French even though they had never studied French.