General Hospital- It is TOTALLY My Kind of Heroin
I try and I try and I try to break away from GH but I never quite succeed. It drags me back in like I'm a junkie and it is my favorite fix. Which wouldn't be so bad if GH was in any way a reasonable soap. It's not. It is awful. Almost irredeemably bad. Let's talk about some of the badness.
1. Jason Morgan. Let us all think back to 1999-2000. Jason's accident and drift into Sonny's orbit had occured three years ago. The Opie Opus was over. Robin had left town. Carly had totally screwed Jason over. Repeatedly. And then he saved a grieving Elizabeth Webber one night at Luke's bar and a lovely friendship was born.
"Ah," I thought. "This is how they will do it. Elizabeth will refuse to have a serious relationship with him while he is in the mob, and in the process something will happen that will trigger his Jason Quartermaine memories. The new Jason will be a hybrid of the two, and we will see him having to reconcile the things he has done since joining the mob to Jason Quartermaine's conscious. Meanwhile we will see them fall slowly in love, all the while knowing that Lucky is alive. When Lucky comes back it could be one of the best triangles EVER."
When I'm wrong, I'm wrong. Liason's first major impact was to send Carly to Sonny's bed (or, erm, FLOOR) after Carly saw them dancing. Then Steve Burton left the show, but when he came back I thought they were setting up the same story. Except that story went completely haywire with Courtney...and I seriously started hating Jason.
This incarnation of Liason makes me want to throw something at the television. Granted, I haven't watched, but from reading a bit Elizabeth never, ever until yesterday articulated that the reason she doesn't want Jason around the baby, or Cameron, or her is that JASON BEING IN THE MOB IS DANGEROUS TO EVERYONE AROUND HIM.
2. THE MOB. The fact that the mob has dominated GH storylines for over ten years is absolutely ridiculous. GH is a show without a moral compass. How can anything that any character does be truly bad when we see Sonny and Jason doing worse and being held up as all that is good and right in the world? Hmm? And god forbid that any character show signs of being more popular than the Terrible Twosome.
If they are female, they will end up in one or the others bed.
If they are male, we will watch painful character asassaination (see Alcazar, Lorenzo and Lansing, Ric).
No one can top the mob, so we see beloved characters like Robert Scorpio (ROBERT SCORPIO) and Luke Spencer (LUKE SPENCER) dumbed down almost past the point of recognition so that JASON can save the day. What the hell?
3. Where have all the heroes gone...Also known as why Jax gets sloppy seconds and why Lucky sucks.
Perhaps the obsession with the mob is not the ONLY reason that Lucky Spencer sucks. It pains me that I find Lucky painfully boring. From the moment Jonathan Jackson popped up on GH I adored Lucky. As JJ grew up the character got better and better. Lucky and Elizabeth were a fantastic story on all levels. When JJ left...it was like everyone forgot what Lucky Spencer was actually like. The first recast was just freaking horrible. The current recast seems like a great guy. He's cute. There's a certain sweetness that radiates off of him. But he's just not Lucky Spencer. I don't see any of the quick witted charmer that Lucky should be. He doesn't have his mother's tenacity or his father's verve. This is partly the actor. The part needs someone with spark, someone like the guy who played Jonathan on Guiding Light. The other part IS the writing. In order for Sonny and Jason to reign cop Lucky has to be a bumbling idiot. The new Liason has required Lucky be a pill popper.
Lucky Spencer should be out having fantastic adventures. He should be crazy intelligent, have fantastic street smarts, and terribly charming. Seriously, how wrong is it that Lucky Spencer- child of the most famous union in daytime- has only had one real romance?
Again, this is not all the current regime's fault. Lucky was brought back on canvas waaaaaay to fast. The first recast was horrid. But with a little imagination (damn, I'd go for he-whom-we-have-called-Lucky is actually a plant because Helena has kept the real Lucky hidden all these years story as long as JJ, or someone with that spark, came back. That could be a fantastic umbrella story as everyone has to deal with the fact they've been duped for years, Lucky deals with missing most of his twenties, and he-whom-we-have-called-Lucky searches for his true identity while his family and Elizabeth deal with both versions) Lucky could be the exciting, virile, intelligent hero of the show.
Do you know who else should be an exciting, virile, intelligent hero with fabulous love interests and fantastic adventures? Jax. You know, the handsome, charming, accented billionaire? Him? He's sort of the opposite of the portly, short, saggy boobed mobster? So why does he go for long stretches with no story and then ends up with some of the worst romantic stories on daytime? Let's review the romantic history of Jax:
1. Brenda. Came in as part of the Brenda/Sonny love story.
2. Chloe. At least she wasn't a Sonny leftover...she was rather boring. There was a far better option for Jax...which we ignored.
3. When I googled his name because I thought I forgot someone, it turned out I did. Angel. A Sonny reject.
4. Skye. That was a great story for Jax...until the writers couldn't resist revisiting Sonny/Brenda/Jax one last time making Jax screw over Skye PAINFULLY and then abandon Brenda because he could never believe she loved him more than Sonny.
5. Sam McCall. I wasn't watching, but she ended up with Sonny, and then Jason.
6. Courtney. Sonny's sister, who eventually left him for Nikolas Cassadine. God, that story was PAINFUL. Also, she made Jax less pretty. I have no idea how. Thank god I wasn't watching often, but there was much wincing when I did.
7. Carly. Sonny's ex-wife ten times over. I will grant that they have good chemistry, but come on! This is not going to go well!
Again, a tall, handsome, billionaire is going to lose to a dark midget with a larger cup size than I sport.
More later, probably.
1. Jason Morgan. Let us all think back to 1999-2000. Jason's accident and drift into Sonny's orbit had occured three years ago. The Opie Opus was over. Robin had left town. Carly had totally screwed Jason over. Repeatedly. And then he saved a grieving Elizabeth Webber one night at Luke's bar and a lovely friendship was born.
"Ah," I thought. "This is how they will do it. Elizabeth will refuse to have a serious relationship with him while he is in the mob, and in the process something will happen that will trigger his Jason Quartermaine memories. The new Jason will be a hybrid of the two, and we will see him having to reconcile the things he has done since joining the mob to Jason Quartermaine's conscious. Meanwhile we will see them fall slowly in love, all the while knowing that Lucky is alive. When Lucky comes back it could be one of the best triangles EVER."
When I'm wrong, I'm wrong. Liason's first major impact was to send Carly to Sonny's bed (or, erm, FLOOR) after Carly saw them dancing. Then Steve Burton left the show, but when he came back I thought they were setting up the same story. Except that story went completely haywire with Courtney...and I seriously started hating Jason.
This incarnation of Liason makes me want to throw something at the television. Granted, I haven't watched, but from reading a bit Elizabeth never, ever until yesterday articulated that the reason she doesn't want Jason around the baby, or Cameron, or her is that JASON BEING IN THE MOB IS DANGEROUS TO EVERYONE AROUND HIM.
2. THE MOB. The fact that the mob has dominated GH storylines for over ten years is absolutely ridiculous. GH is a show without a moral compass. How can anything that any character does be truly bad when we see Sonny and Jason doing worse and being held up as all that is good and right in the world? Hmm? And god forbid that any character show signs of being more popular than the Terrible Twosome.
If they are female, they will end up in one or the others bed.
If they are male, we will watch painful character asassaination (see Alcazar, Lorenzo and Lansing, Ric).
No one can top the mob, so we see beloved characters like Robert Scorpio (ROBERT SCORPIO) and Luke Spencer (LUKE SPENCER) dumbed down almost past the point of recognition so that JASON can save the day. What the hell?
3. Where have all the heroes gone...Also known as why Jax gets sloppy seconds and why Lucky sucks.
Perhaps the obsession with the mob is not the ONLY reason that Lucky Spencer sucks. It pains me that I find Lucky painfully boring. From the moment Jonathan Jackson popped up on GH I adored Lucky. As JJ grew up the character got better and better. Lucky and Elizabeth were a fantastic story on all levels. When JJ left...it was like everyone forgot what Lucky Spencer was actually like. The first recast was just freaking horrible. The current recast seems like a great guy. He's cute. There's a certain sweetness that radiates off of him. But he's just not Lucky Spencer. I don't see any of the quick witted charmer that Lucky should be. He doesn't have his mother's tenacity or his father's verve. This is partly the actor. The part needs someone with spark, someone like the guy who played Jonathan on Guiding Light. The other part IS the writing. In order for Sonny and Jason to reign cop Lucky has to be a bumbling idiot. The new Liason has required Lucky be a pill popper.
Lucky Spencer should be out having fantastic adventures. He should be crazy intelligent, have fantastic street smarts, and terribly charming. Seriously, how wrong is it that Lucky Spencer- child of the most famous union in daytime- has only had one real romance?
Again, this is not all the current regime's fault. Lucky was brought back on canvas waaaaaay to fast. The first recast was horrid. But with a little imagination (damn, I'd go for he-whom-we-have-called-Lucky is actually a plant because Helena has kept the real Lucky hidden all these years story as long as JJ, or someone with that spark, came back. That could be a fantastic umbrella story as everyone has to deal with the fact they've been duped for years, Lucky deals with missing most of his twenties, and he-whom-we-have-called-Lucky searches for his true identity while his family and Elizabeth deal with both versions) Lucky could be the exciting, virile, intelligent hero of the show.
Do you know who else should be an exciting, virile, intelligent hero with fabulous love interests and fantastic adventures? Jax. You know, the handsome, charming, accented billionaire? Him? He's sort of the opposite of the portly, short, saggy boobed mobster? So why does he go for long stretches with no story and then ends up with some of the worst romantic stories on daytime? Let's review the romantic history of Jax:
1. Brenda. Came in as part of the Brenda/Sonny love story.
2. Chloe. At least she wasn't a Sonny leftover...she was rather boring. There was a far better option for Jax...which we ignored.
3. When I googled his name because I thought I forgot someone, it turned out I did. Angel. A Sonny reject.
4. Skye. That was a great story for Jax...until the writers couldn't resist revisiting Sonny/Brenda/Jax one last time making Jax screw over Skye PAINFULLY and then abandon Brenda because he could never believe she loved him more than Sonny.
5. Sam McCall. I wasn't watching, but she ended up with Sonny, and then Jason.
6. Courtney. Sonny's sister, who eventually left him for Nikolas Cassadine. God, that story was PAINFUL. Also, she made Jax less pretty. I have no idea how. Thank god I wasn't watching often, but there was much wincing when I did.
7. Carly. Sonny's ex-wife ten times over. I will grant that they have good chemistry, but come on! This is not going to go well!
Again, a tall, handsome, billionaire is going to lose to a dark midget with a larger cup size than I sport.
More later, probably.