DW/TW Fic: The Alternate
Title: The Alternate
Author: nancybrown
Characters: Rose, Ianto, Mickey, Martha, Jack, Handy
Pairings: primarily Rose/Ianto, various canon pairings
Rating: R
Spoilers: DW: "End of Time," TW: COE
Warnings: um ...
Words: 6400
Summary: Rose will do anything to get home. Ianto will do anything for Lisa.
Author's Note 1: I HATE YOU ALL.
Author's Note 2: Same storyverse as Proxy. If you are looking for something happy and sweet, read Paper Hearts. This is not a happy and sweet story.
***
Rose is tired. She can drink enough coffee and her mum's strong tea to keep herself moving. She can attend the parties Pete throws -- she won't call him Dad, not yet, it's a badge he's going to have to earn -- and play the dutiful new daughter. She can sit with Mickey and go over her plans to get back home. She can play with her new little brother, and pose for picture after picture for her mother's growing collection. She can even overhear without flinching the rumours that pass by, that this young woman newly-arrived to the Tyler mansion isn't Pete's adopted anything, just his mistress given a kinder name. She can do all these things.
But she's so damned tired.
Pete heads what's left of the Torchwood in this universe. Most of the organisation died quickly, in metal and blood, when the Cybermen first fled this world for the other. Of the fifty survivors, almost half walked away in the aftermath, and the rest had nowhere to go.
Pete and Mickey, and to a smaller extent Jake and Mum, have been rebuilding. They gave the remnants of the resistance the keys to be proactive in saving the world from outside threats. Rose doesn't care. This isn't her home. The great house she lives in, the father she pretends to know, the building where she works, this whole fake London, none of this belongs to her. She feels distanced from everyone around her, like a girl in a funhouse watching the distorted mirrors. Mickey's real, Mum's real, but every day, they fade further into their reflections.
It's frightening to think about, and the number one thing Rose is tired of is thinking.
She's seen him around before, just another face at the meetings and a name on the employee list. The junior researcher from the fifth floor is one of the survivors rather than a new hire, and he wears the same expression all the old timers do: war wounds crawling under the skin. His smiles never meet his eyes, though he's skilled enough that she's sure no-one else notices. The only reason she noticed is that she's been practising her own.
"That's the Number Four," she says to him one day, as they are looking over files about an alien species who may have the technology she needs.
"Number Four?"
"That's the smile that says you've seen this before, you're not sure why I care, but you'll be polite about it until I leave you alone."
"Does it?" The expression on his face doesn't change, but his eyes go sharper. He's never been caught before, she guesses. They measure each other up for a few moments. He breaks first, and he drops the smile. "I always think of it as the Butler Smile."
"Do you have a lot of them? Fake smiles, I mean." She keeps her voice light.
"Not catalogued by number. How many do you have?"
It's her turn to be off-put, but she'd brought it up. "Fifteen so far." She's not wearing any of them now, feeling cut and raw as suddenly as a pear.
He lets out a low whistle. "That's more than I do. I find the Butler works in most situations, the No Really You're Fascinating Do Go On useful in interpersonal situations, and Polite Incomprehension fills in the rest. I can't imagine having twelve more in supply."
He's flirting with her, and it's possible he's using NRYFDGO, or as she thinks of it, Number Three, but Rose has noticed how few people are honest with her these days, and she's tired of faking for everyone. "Ah, well." The phrase almost has her wincing, hearing the Doctor's voice in her head. "You wouldn't have much use for Pete Says You're Important, or My These Cocktail Appetisers Are Delightful."
"As I said, Polite Incomprehension." His eyes go a bit wider and more innocent, with a faint twitch of his lips.
Rose bursts out laughing.
He likes the way she eats her chips with gravy. She likes the way he's picky about his food, because when he says something tastes good, he's usually right. He's good-looking in a baby-faced way, and knows how to act in polite company. His manners were learned from the telly as much as hers were, but at least he has some. Mum says she can do better, that he's not the brightest penny in the jar, that he's a nice boy but really. Rose replies that she has done better, that she's already in love with the smartest man in the universe, and that all she wants right now is someone nice.
She doesn't say he's tiding her over. She doesn't say she's killing time while the dimension cannon slowly comes together. She says he's a hard worker, and sweet. The sex is good, though she's had better. He's attentive, and he's thoughtful. She knows he misses his girlfriend and that Rose is as much of a warm body to him as he is to her, but he does her the courtesy of never lying about the matter, and when they're together, his mind is almost always in the room. It's enough for Rose.
***
They've been seeing each other for about a month when the inevitable happens. Ianto wasn't certain exactly how it would transpire, only that eventually, he would have to deal with the situation and he'd best be ready.
Smith from the seventh floor catches him alone in the office and gives him a smile that is in no way friendly. "You understand that if you break her heart, I'm obligated to kill you, yeah?"
He knows. But he's known Rose for a month and he pays attention. "Surely you know that anything she has with me has nothing to do with her heart."
One glance to Smith's face confirms it was the perfect response.
After work, they end up at the pub together. Ianto says, "She's told me about the other universe. I'm not sure how to believe her."
Smith shrugs. "It's hard for me to figure out sometimes, too, if that helps."
"The two of you … " He lets the question drag.
"She found someone better." Smith takes a sip. "Not you."
"No." He's living in the shadow of an alien he'll never meet. It's weird.
"We've known each other since we were kids. I think I've been a little in love with her since I was twelve. I think she was in love with me for about six months."
Ianto would offer sympathies, but Rose isn't at all in love with him, and won't be. Smith had six months.
"What about you?" Smith sits back with his drink, in a listening pose. "What's your story?"
"Nothing to tell." He takes a drink to hide.
"I'm from another universe. Your girlfriend is from another universe. You can do better than that. You survived when Torchwood went to hell. There's a story there." Smith's eyes are clever, and Ianto is coming to understand that behind the bland, pleasant face is a mind like a trap. "Were you there?"
"Yeah." On the bad nights, he can still hear the metal stamping of their heavy feet. They cut down everyone in their path. He hadn't been in the way, and they let him live. Lisa wasn't so lucky. "My fiancée died when the Cybermen came through the building."
"Sorry."
He nods in thanks. He's heard it enough.
"Did they … ?" He's decent enough not to finish the sentence.
"No. She was deleted." He remembers holding her for a long time, watching her sightless eyes, until the UNIT forces came in and took away the bodies. He wants to offer up something, anything. One good moment. Instead, he can only see Lisa's still body, hear the sound of metal boots walking away. "She was the one. We picked out names for our children. You don't do that with just anyone."
"No." Smith's glass is empty. So is Ianto's. They order another round.
"Her brother Kyle died when she was little. She always wanted to name a son after him."
"Rose said she wanted to name her kid after her dad. Never thought she'd meet him. Guess now she'd name a kid after the Doctor." He snorted. "Or Captain Charisma."
"Not something you'd normally hear on a playground." He's just tipsy enough to think "Charisma" would be a pretty name for a girl.
"Look on the bright side. When she goes back, maybe she'll name the kids after us."
"Back?"
"To the other universe. That's the project she's working on. All her life, she's wanted her dad back, and now that she's got him, all she wants is to get the hell away." He says something else under his breath. It does not appear to be flattering to Rose.
"There's a way to the other universe? I thought you were stuck here." Rose has indicated she's trapped. Ianto thought that was why she was burying herself in work and sex. It's why he does.
"Maybe. She's doing what she can to change that. If she can find a way home, she'll be gone. Take my advice, don't get too attached."
"Right." Another universe, where copies of them are running around, other lives, other paths.
Lisa.
Ianto is suddenly very, very sober.
***
For Rose, Ianto is a study in contrasts to her former lovers. He's nothing like Jimmy, nothing like Jack, and certainly the only thing he has in common with the Doctor is his affectation of pinstripes. Mickey, well, Mickey's complicated, a sometimes best friend and sometimes lover and sometimes coward and sometimes hero. He's offered her his tacit approval of this latest fling, and she's seen them work together, and she thinks they might have quite a bit in common.
Ianto brings her flowers at the right times. He's the perfect degree of deferential to her parents. He doesn't use his relationship with her to gain special favours at work, though she does, showing up at his desk and encouraging him to take a break with her. She tells him about her project, and she's been as plain as possible that this is something temporary, that she isn't staying. He seems to understand. It might even be a relief for him to know that she's in this for the shagging, the warmth at night, and not for any ideas of long-term commitments.
She likes fucking him against a desk in an empty office in the afternoon, likes the feel of his sheets on her back while he moves inside her in his bed, likes the firm feel of her headboard in her hands as she rides him in hers. She finds it funny when he times how long it takes her to come, using a dorky old stopwatch. She likes the chocolates he brings for her mum, likes the polite "sir" he uses when he speaks to Pete, and if he's uncomfortable around little kids, at least they're not planning on having any and she can appreciate the way he tries to be nice to Tony.
For something not meant to last, he's good for her.
***
For Ianto, Rose is a study in contrasts to Lisa. Lisa used to pour money into lotions and creams, spreading each in a well-defined routine over her skin, making every inch of her soft and fragrant. He spent hours kissing her calves, her knees, her arms, tasting the vanilla and jasmine and amber flavours, breathing in the good scent of talcum powder before burying his mouth in the even better scent of woman. Rose says she grew accustomed to quick showers aboard a thing called the TARDIS, using whatever soap happened to be around, and although she's living in luxury with as much wealth as anyone could ask, she still favours simple shampoos and a bar of Lux. She says she doesn't want to get used to things she won't be able to keep. He thinks she might be more used to him than that, but he keeps quiet, uses his mouth for other things.
He's dated before, and has the basic training of when to bring flowers, how to be polite to her family, what to do to thaw the icy glare of his girlfriend's mother. He's careful not to assume privileges just because he's sleeping with Pete Tyler's daughter, and because he doesn't assume any, he's granted everything he needs: the freedom to go off with Rose whenever she asks, access to her special project.
He likes taking her up against a wall, holding her body in place with his arms and pinning her there with his thrusts. He likes the sharp tug of her fingers in his hair while he licks her to climax. He likes the rippling clench of her body around his cock, the firm swell of her breasts in his hands, the bend of her throat when her head is thrown back in pleasure. He makes a study of how long it takes her to come when he does or says or wears the right thing. He likes the smiles that aren't faked, when the two of them are sitting at dinner talking about films. He likes her stories about the places she's been and the incredible things she's seen. Even though she lives in a mansion, he appreciates that she understands exactly what it means to grow up on a council estate, and that she never puts on airs or makes him feel inferior.
For something not meant to last, she's good for him.
***
She storms into his office. The others affect not to notice as Rose stands by his desk, arms crossed, angry. "Have a minute?" she asks in a shaking voice, and he nods.
Even with all the recruiting, there are still too many empty rooms in this building. It's like working in a tomb. Avoiding the dead this once, she leads him back to her own brightly-decorated office. They never have sex in here. It's neutral ground.
"Tell me."
"Pete's pulled the funding from the project. He says it's taking too many resources."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"It's her. Mum knew I was getting close and talked him into shutting it down." She paces back and forth in the little room. Ianto sits, watching her. "I can't believe her."
"She loves you."
"I can't stay here, Ianto. Every day I'm here, it's like I'm dying." Her voice cracks.
He stands up, puts his arms around her while she shakes. He doesn't offer meaningless words of comfort.
***
Ianto makes an appointment, like anyone else. It's not exactly an abuse of his position, not yet. When Pete's PA sends him in, Pete looks up from the pile of work on his desk. "I saw you on the schedule. Did you need something?"
"Sir, I don't mean to put myself where I don't belong."
"Really?" Pete has a low bullshit tolerance.
"It's about Rose's project."
"Is that why she sent you here?"
"I came on my own, sir."
"We don't have the resources to devote to it anymore. All of the ideas have led to dead ends."
"Yes, sir. I know that. However, I've been looking through the archives as a side project of my own." Pete watches him closely, but Ianto has been careful to get all his assigned work finished. He's barely slept since Rose told him the project was cancelled. "There's an item we have locked in vault 22 that may be useful."
"I don't have people to spare, Ianto."
"Then let Rose continue the work on her own. She won't ever stop unless she makes that decision herself. You know that forbidding her will only make her more determined."
"That it will." He looks out the window. "Her mother and I don't want her to go. I don't understand why you do."
"I just want her to be happy, sir." He puts on the Butler smile.
***
The project seems designed for setbacks. Rose has learned more about engineering in the past year than she ever dreamed back home, but it's not enough. She needs brighter people than she is putting in long hours to make this work. Pete can only justify so much time on the dimension cannon, though. Torchwood has many duties, not just sending Rose to find the Doctor. She understands the priorities. If she has to do this alone, so be it.
Ianto tries to be helpful, bless. He's no more a scientist than she is, but he's always ready to listen when she wants to vent about the project. Even if the matter is over his head, he's handy to bounce ideas off of, and he doesn't seem to mind that she's doing this to leave him behind forever. It's nice not to have to worry about her boyfriend being clingy, though she rarely uses the word "boyfriend" in her head. He's her lover, and her friend, and they are comfortable in those roles. Boyfriends and girlfriends think about spending their lives together, and try to see how compatible they are on that account. When Mickey was her boyfriend, Rose thought about spending her life with him. Sometimes she thinks she could let this go, and make another try with him. The rest of the time, she knows she'll end up hurting him again, and she can accept that she is selfish, but she won't be actively cruel.
Mum is finally warming to Ianto. "Why don't you bring him around more often? Nice boy like that … " She stops herself before she mentions grandchildren, before she suggests Rose settle down here instead of pining away for someone she'll never see again. Mum does mind that the project will leave her behind forever. But she has Pete and Tony, and Rose has a plan.
"She wants everything. She wants me to stay so she can build a perfect family." The air conditioner isn't working at his flat, and Rose is covered only by a thin sheet, with her legs sticking out the sides. It's too hot to cuddle, so she splays her hand over his chest, and he covers it. "We never had a perfect family."
"Perhaps she sees this as her chance."
"I know. But this is my only chance, too." If this doesn't work, if she can't get back to the Doctor, she's going to spend the rest of her life regretting it. No number of family portraits can replace the one person missing in every conversation. His ghost watches her. She's certain he'd want her to keep trying. She even thinks he won't mind these casual couplings she can't seem to put past her. He was jealous of Mickey, a little, though he'd never said so outright, but he'd accepted her trysts with Adam and Jack as "just one of those human things." Her fingers play with the soft hair on Ianto's very human chest. "What would you do?"
"Hm?"
"If you had one chance for something you really wanted. Would you take it?"
"Like a shot."
They make love again, and it's not passionate as much as it is affectionate. Passion is when she closes her eyes and imagines the man she loves is there instead. When they're resting, after, her body still tingling, she says, "I should get home."
In the darkness, she sees something raw on Ianto's face. He's going to ask her to stay the night. She'll say yes. In the morning, they'll go in to work together, and she'll come home with him again in the evening, and she can see her future laid out before her, of a life not exactly happy but content. Please don't ask, she thinks.
"Would you like me to drive you home?"
"No. Thanks. My car's here."
"All right." They kiss, lightly, and he watches her dress and sees her out. Just to be safe, she doesn't go home with him again for weeks. They can shag in an empty office, or in his car.
Her project reaches a turning point: the stars are going out. Suddenly, they need the Doctor, and her mad quest finally has a point, and purpose, and most of all, funding. They have the plans, the miniature prototype works, and the construction has started, accompanied with more problems. She doesn't want a life with Ianto, a future, but she likes having him to talk to, and he always listens. Always.
***
She's started taking trips back to the other universe, but the timing is off somehow, and she keeps returning to theirs to reset. He won't ask her if she's found the Doctor yet, because he'll have that answer the day she doesn't return. With her goal so close, Ianto thinks he's going to be let go, but every failure brings Rose back to his bed. This should be just sex, just simple release, but they're both tinged with anticipation these days. Every time could be their last, and it adds an edge they've been lacking. The sex is amazing. She's amazing. And she's about to walk away from him forever.
"She did it."
Ianto looks up from his desk, where he's not really working on a half-finished report on an artefact recovered fifty years ago. Mickey is watching him.
Reality dawns over him. Rose did it. She made it to the right universe at the right time. She's gone for good. Since she never knew when it would be, she never bothered saying goodbye.
"Oh."
"She does that, you know. Up and leaves. Least you knew it was coming."
"Yeah." Last night, they went back to his flat and watched movies. She sat half in his lap as they passed a bowl of popcorn back and forth. Rose laughed at the screwball antics of the college boys in the film. Ianto did his impression of one of the boys while she dissolved in fits of giggles. They shagged on the sofa, and fell asleep there. There are probably still pieces of popcorn stuck on the sofa and the floor.
He remembers going home the night after Lisa died.
"Anyway, me and Jackie are going through. If the stars thing is bad, she's going to need help." Something about the way he says it makes Ianto think Mickey isn't planning on a return trip, either.
"Good luck."
Mickey clears his throat. "Anything you want me to tell her when I see her?"
Ianto turns away. "No."
He waits. Half an hour after Mickey leaves, Ianto saves his work. The report on the artefact isn't finished. He finds the thought unsettling, but it doesn't matter now. He has a briefcase by his desk which has been in plain sight and utterly ignored by everyone for weeks. He picks it up, gives the Butler smile to Jessica at the next desk over, and says, "Taking a break. Would you like anything from the canteen?"
"Ta, no." Jessica doesn't even look up from her own work.
As he steps into the control room for the dimension cannon, no-one pays him any attention. Ianto has accompanied Rose enough times that he's part of the furniture, a familiar face they'll have been expecting. After all, his girlfriend just went through.
He gives the project head Polite Stupidity. "It's been over an hour since she left. Has there been any word?"
"No." The project head knows who Ianto is, isn't sure if the privileges Ianto has been granted still apply. Uncertainty will suffice.
"Damn." He has to pitch this perfectly: fear, worry, a touch of annoyance. "Then she needs me to take this to her." He indicates the briefcase.
"Ms. Tyler never said you'd be part of the protocol."
He sighs heavily. "Fine. Wait here, I'll call Mr. Tyler and he can explain it to you." Thank God for knowing Tony's schedule or Pete would be here now and this would never work.
He gets fitted with one of the devices. He already knows their operation from months of watching quietly at Rose's side, but it doesn't matter; the device can only send him back to this universe. As soon as the crack of light fades, leaving him in a dark world that he can only pray is the right one, he takes off the lanyard and drops it in the nearest bin. There are robots on the streets, rounding up humans. It's not the first time he's dodged that kind of threat, and within a few hours, they self-destruct.
His briefcase holds a change of clothing, a few photographs, and what he could convert of his savings into gold and easy-to-carry gems. Currency is useless between universes. All he has to do now is avoid Rose, and on a planet of billions, that shouldn't be hard.
It's time to look for Lisa.
***
Rose sees Ianto's double on the screen with Gwyneth's twin, and it really is old home day on the TARDIS. Maybe she'll ask the Doctor to drop by Torchwood when this is finished. They can visit Jack, meet his friends properly, and Rose can laugh inside her head at the coincidences that shape her life, if "coincidence" is a word than can be applied to the Bad Wolf.
"Hey," Jack says, dropping his arms around her. "Thinking about me?"
"I was, actually." Her smile slips. "He told me about what happened. What I did to you. Jack … " How does she even start to say she's sorry? For leaving him. For destroying him.
"It's okay." He presses lips to her head. "Really. I forgave you a long time ago."
They stand like that for a nice moment. Donna's shooting darts from her eyes, so apparently half Time Lords are also completely human. Donna will learn there's no point in being jealous about someone who loves absolutely everyone he meets.
"Are you coming with us, then?" She's hopeful. Now that she's back with the Doctor, it'd be nice to have Jack with them.
"I would love to, but I've got someplace to be where they need me." His smile changes. Rose's stomach warms as she recognises Number Seventeen. Absolutely everyone. "I told my boyfriend all about you. When you come to visit, you two can gossip. I won't mind."
"I'm sure we'll find much more interesting topics." They meet for a kiss, and it's as chaste as the last time they parted. She loves him so much.
It's a whirlwind of goodbyes after that. Mickey told her that he's planning on staying, so it's a long hug with all the words already spoken. She's said her goodbyes to her mum, to Pete, and is unprepared to find herself back in that world, a Doctor beside her and the other, the one she loved, the one she fought for, walking away forever and leaving her there.
The girl she was would have been devastated. Rose has learned to adjust.
There are only a few people she trusts enough to retrieve her and Mum from this desolate place, who can understand about this new Doctor at her side. Mum would rather not ask Pete to drag Tony all the way here nor leave him alone with someone else. Rose dials Ianto's number. It rings and rings and goes to voicemail.
***
Three years into her career as a freelance alien hunter, Martha sees a dead man.
She's led a life unlike anything she ever could have dreamed when she started medical school. That she spent a day in a hospital on the moon, and this was only the first weird thing of many others, still astonishes her, still puts a confused, happy smile on her face. Seeing someone whose funeral she attended is not the strangest item on her life's list.
She almost would have missed him, but he's wearing a red shirt, and her mind drifted enough to bring him into focus under the beard. The drink in her hands, warm after a cold stakeout, ought to bring back memories, but Owen was trying to make the coffee then, wasn't he? So many thoughts, so many losses, Martha feels crowded all at once in the tiny café.
"Miss?"
She realises he's been trying to talk to her. There isn't the faintest hint of recognition on his face, but it's definitely his voice. The name on his tag says "Harry." Of course, Martha has ID calling her "Maggie," "Tina," and "Elizabeth," so she's not one to judge.
"Are you ready to order?" His smile is polite and ready, like it always was.
"No. Not yet. Thank you." She's starving, and she's taking up space at the counter with her coffee, but she can't think about food at this moment. Ianto moves away, and she watches him.
Back from the loo, Mickey slides into the seat beside her, taking a sip of his own coffee and peering over the menu. Martha jostles him, nudging him towards their server. "You're not going to believe this, but I think I know him. He used to be one of Jack's people."
Mickey's eyes follow Ianto until he turns around. He's back at their place with his pad out before his own eyes go wide. He recovers quickly. "Ready to order?"
"Ianto?"
"Excuse me?" But it's too smooth.
"You're dead," Martha begins to say, but Mickey interrupts, "When did you come over?" Martha turns to her husband. "You're Rose's Ianto, aren't you?"
Several things war for Martha's attention. First, that Mickey apparently does know the man staring at them in shock. Second, that it really is Ianto, and not some hallucination or alien pulling an image out of her mind. Third, that once again Rose bloody Tyler is at the centre of the lives of all the men Martha knows, and it's nearly enough for her to call up her ex just for the change. Nearly.
He almost flees, but instead they end up at a table. There's a lot of coffee, and Martha finally gets the breakfast she wants while Mickey and this other Ianto go over old times and new. Mickey tells him about their job, the things they've seen just here on Earth. He leaves out the friends they've watched die, the two pregnancies she's lost, the fights they have so far managed to get past. He tells Ianto about Rose.
"After all that, she went back?" Ianto's face is tight.
"I don't think she had a choice. He wanted her to stay put with that clone of his."
Mickey doesn't talk about Rose much with Martha. He and Rose broke up a long time ago, and part of him will always be in love with her, and Martha is used to this. She's come to the point where she no longer sees herself as the silver medal, the replacement in Mickey's heart for someone else, and she'll be damned if she ever lets him feel like he's a second choice, either. She tries to read Ianto's expression now, wonders if this Ianto was in love with Rose too, but he's closed off. He talks about his search for someone named Lisa. What he leaves out she doesn't know.
Other universes, other lives. There have to be copies of her somewhere who finished her residency and became a respected doctor in a proper hospital, copies who met Tom at a medical function and stayed with him, copies who met Mickey by accident, copies with kids.
"The other you died," Martha says. It's still a sore spot, though not on her own behalf. The rare times she sees Jack, there's an absence in his eyes, a sharper tone to his flirting. He's not broken, couldn't be after all he's been through, but there's a part of him that's never healed.
"I know. I kept tabs on him to stay out of his way. I thought about stepping in after, just like slipping on a pair of shoes." He looks down at his hands. "It didn't seem right."
Mickey takes a long look around the café. "So what're you doing here instead, mate? Waiting tables and biding your time?"
Ianto shrugs. "I can pass with false identification here," he says quietly. "It's something to do."
Mickey passes a glance over to Martha. And this is why they're still together, why they get past the fights, why neither ever thinks "second-best" anymore. She's had classes in ESP training from UNIT, and she spent a long time in the company of a telepathic alien, but she's never met anyone who can read her mind half so well as the man sitting next to her. He gives her a little nod, seeing what he needs.
"Ever think about going back to catching aliens?"
***
He uses the name John Smith. His parents are listed as John Smith Sr. and Donna Noble, both deceased. The Donna in this world married right out of school. Sometimes he goes to watch her with her family, but he doesn't go near them. It's enough to know she's there. He's looked up most of the Doctor's former companions. Some died, some lived vastly different lives, some are nowhere that he can find them. He's human enough to want to draw them all around him. He's wise enough to know they're better off this way.
Rose loves him, though it's not the way she loved his tenth incarnation but instead the way she loved his ninth. There's attraction, and affection, and she delights in his presence, but he's aware that he is the consolation prize. Rose has managed to win everything she ever wanted: a family, her lover, comfort. In exchange, she has lost the stars, and her closest friend, and even when she says her wedding vows, he knows she is mourning the loss of the other Doctor forever.
Their first child is born nine months to the day from when they arrived back in this universe. Rose has been honest with him. She says she doesn't plan on finding out who the father is, that John is human and the baby is human and that's all that matters to her. John says he understands. He thinks their little girl looks a bit like Jenny.
There are empty spaces. Jackie brings up Mickey from time to time, never in comparison, merely as an old friend gone for good. Rose gets distant then, holding her daughter in her arms, rocking her quietly. Some names she won't say. Some places she won't go. It takes him over a year of working with her to notice she avoids the fifth floor, and the seventh. It takes him considerably less time to notice that she is most passionate in bed on the days he wears pinstripes.
He has no context at all for why, the first time he leaves his watch ticking on the nightstand next to her ear, she comes so hard she cries.
***
He's freelancing with the freelancers: when they need an extra pair of hands, when they need an extra gun, when they need someone who will only ask the questions they can answer. Ianto can do tactical, he can run interference. He's not part of their team of two, but the three have an easy rapport, even if Martha is reticent around him. She doesn't like communicating with the dead, no matter how upright and breathing they are. She also doesn't like keeping secrets from her friends, but as Mickey has said to them both, exactly what point would there be to calling up people this Ianto never met?
Today he's with the equipment and trying to hack his way into the alien computer system while his friends are distracting them with cover fire. All he has to do is get past this last firewall, and they'll be able to disarm the warship remotely. Mickey is better with the computers, but he's also better with the big guns.
Ianto watches Martha while his hands work the keyboard. She's careful not to shoot anyone unless she has to, but this situation is looking like she will unless they can pull out a miracle. He tries another route around the firewall.
A sleek black car screeches up the road; he can hear it coming, tries not to be distracted himself. The second it's close, four people get out with guns. Ianto touches his ear to warn Mickey and Martha, but the four take up positions clearly opposing the aliens. Then the distraction is complete, the firewall is down, and he's inside. "Got them," he says over the comm.
After that, it's a basic clean up job.
As the newcomers talk to Mickey and Martha, Ianto hangs back. Worry trickles down his neck. He made many observations of his duplicate in this universe. He's seen some of these people before: the taller of the two men, the shorter of the two women. He knows alien hunting is not the largest line of work in the world, and eventually, they are going to run into everyone.
One of the women comes over, not the one he recognises. He pretends to busy himself with putting away equipment, his heart racing.
"Hi. Did you do that?"
"I helped."
"It was a good crack. We were watching on our scanners on the way here."
"Thanks."
She holds out her hand. "Karishma Raina. I'm new," she adds with a little smile. Hers is friendly and shy, not yet blanched with too much knowledge. "All this alien stuff is exciting, isn't it?"
"It is." He shakes her hand.
He's had years to consider this.
From the minute Mickey told him about Rose's project, his goal was to find a way here, try to find Lisa. From the day he read her name on the plaque at the ruins of Canary Wharf, he's been adrift. Had he stayed in his home universe, Rose would have returned. Mickey says he left because he didn't want to be around when she was so clearly in love with someone else; Ianto never minded. Although he's taken lovers here, he misses the undemanding simplicity of being with a lover who doesn't pretend he's more than a convenient stand-in, almost as much as he misses having a purpose.
There's one organisation with the means and the motivation to develop another dimension cannon. There are an infinite number of worlds. Lisa has to have survived somewhere, and that's enough purpose for Ianto to whore himself out in this universe as meticulously as he did in the last one.
Ianto puts on the Butler smile, with a shade of Polite Incomprehension. "Ianto Jones. I'm new, too. I think you should introduce me to your friends."
***
The End
***
Author: nancybrown
Characters: Rose, Ianto, Mickey, Martha, Jack, Handy
Pairings: primarily Rose/Ianto, various canon pairings
Rating: R
Spoilers: DW: "End of Time," TW: COE
Warnings: um ...
Words: 6400
Summary: Rose will do anything to get home. Ianto will do anything for Lisa.
Author's Note 1: I HATE YOU ALL.
Author's Note 2: Same storyverse as Proxy. If you are looking for something happy and sweet, read Paper Hearts. This is not a happy and sweet story.
***
Rose is tired. She can drink enough coffee and her mum's strong tea to keep herself moving. She can attend the parties Pete throws -- she won't call him Dad, not yet, it's a badge he's going to have to earn -- and play the dutiful new daughter. She can sit with Mickey and go over her plans to get back home. She can play with her new little brother, and pose for picture after picture for her mother's growing collection. She can even overhear without flinching the rumours that pass by, that this young woman newly-arrived to the Tyler mansion isn't Pete's adopted anything, just his mistress given a kinder name. She can do all these things.
But she's so damned tired.
Pete heads what's left of the Torchwood in this universe. Most of the organisation died quickly, in metal and blood, when the Cybermen first fled this world for the other. Of the fifty survivors, almost half walked away in the aftermath, and the rest had nowhere to go.
Pete and Mickey, and to a smaller extent Jake and Mum, have been rebuilding. They gave the remnants of the resistance the keys to be proactive in saving the world from outside threats. Rose doesn't care. This isn't her home. The great house she lives in, the father she pretends to know, the building where she works, this whole fake London, none of this belongs to her. She feels distanced from everyone around her, like a girl in a funhouse watching the distorted mirrors. Mickey's real, Mum's real, but every day, they fade further into their reflections.
It's frightening to think about, and the number one thing Rose is tired of is thinking.
She's seen him around before, just another face at the meetings and a name on the employee list. The junior researcher from the fifth floor is one of the survivors rather than a new hire, and he wears the same expression all the old timers do: war wounds crawling under the skin. His smiles never meet his eyes, though he's skilled enough that she's sure no-one else notices. The only reason she noticed is that she's been practising her own.
"That's the Number Four," she says to him one day, as they are looking over files about an alien species who may have the technology she needs.
"Number Four?"
"That's the smile that says you've seen this before, you're not sure why I care, but you'll be polite about it until I leave you alone."
"Does it?" The expression on his face doesn't change, but his eyes go sharper. He's never been caught before, she guesses. They measure each other up for a few moments. He breaks first, and he drops the smile. "I always think of it as the Butler Smile."
"Do you have a lot of them? Fake smiles, I mean." She keeps her voice light.
"Not catalogued by number. How many do you have?"
It's her turn to be off-put, but she'd brought it up. "Fifteen so far." She's not wearing any of them now, feeling cut and raw as suddenly as a pear.
He lets out a low whistle. "That's more than I do. I find the Butler works in most situations, the No Really You're Fascinating Do Go On useful in interpersonal situations, and Polite Incomprehension fills in the rest. I can't imagine having twelve more in supply."
He's flirting with her, and it's possible he's using NRYFDGO, or as she thinks of it, Number Three, but Rose has noticed how few people are honest with her these days, and she's tired of faking for everyone. "Ah, well." The phrase almost has her wincing, hearing the Doctor's voice in her head. "You wouldn't have much use for Pete Says You're Important, or My These Cocktail Appetisers Are Delightful."
"As I said, Polite Incomprehension." His eyes go a bit wider and more innocent, with a faint twitch of his lips.
Rose bursts out laughing.
He likes the way she eats her chips with gravy. She likes the way he's picky about his food, because when he says something tastes good, he's usually right. He's good-looking in a baby-faced way, and knows how to act in polite company. His manners were learned from the telly as much as hers were, but at least he has some. Mum says she can do better, that he's not the brightest penny in the jar, that he's a nice boy but really. Rose replies that she has done better, that she's already in love with the smartest man in the universe, and that all she wants right now is someone nice.
She doesn't say he's tiding her over. She doesn't say she's killing time while the dimension cannon slowly comes together. She says he's a hard worker, and sweet. The sex is good, though she's had better. He's attentive, and he's thoughtful. She knows he misses his girlfriend and that Rose is as much of a warm body to him as he is to her, but he does her the courtesy of never lying about the matter, and when they're together, his mind is almost always in the room. It's enough for Rose.
***
They've been seeing each other for about a month when the inevitable happens. Ianto wasn't certain exactly how it would transpire, only that eventually, he would have to deal with the situation and he'd best be ready.
Smith from the seventh floor catches him alone in the office and gives him a smile that is in no way friendly. "You understand that if you break her heart, I'm obligated to kill you, yeah?"
He knows. But he's known Rose for a month and he pays attention. "Surely you know that anything she has with me has nothing to do with her heart."
One glance to Smith's face confirms it was the perfect response.
After work, they end up at the pub together. Ianto says, "She's told me about the other universe. I'm not sure how to believe her."
Smith shrugs. "It's hard for me to figure out sometimes, too, if that helps."
"The two of you … " He lets the question drag.
"She found someone better." Smith takes a sip. "Not you."
"No." He's living in the shadow of an alien he'll never meet. It's weird.
"We've known each other since we were kids. I think I've been a little in love with her since I was twelve. I think she was in love with me for about six months."
Ianto would offer sympathies, but Rose isn't at all in love with him, and won't be. Smith had six months.
"What about you?" Smith sits back with his drink, in a listening pose. "What's your story?"
"Nothing to tell." He takes a drink to hide.
"I'm from another universe. Your girlfriend is from another universe. You can do better than that. You survived when Torchwood went to hell. There's a story there." Smith's eyes are clever, and Ianto is coming to understand that behind the bland, pleasant face is a mind like a trap. "Were you there?"
"Yeah." On the bad nights, he can still hear the metal stamping of their heavy feet. They cut down everyone in their path. He hadn't been in the way, and they let him live. Lisa wasn't so lucky. "My fiancée died when the Cybermen came through the building."
"Sorry."
He nods in thanks. He's heard it enough.
"Did they … ?" He's decent enough not to finish the sentence.
"No. She was deleted." He remembers holding her for a long time, watching her sightless eyes, until the UNIT forces came in and took away the bodies. He wants to offer up something, anything. One good moment. Instead, he can only see Lisa's still body, hear the sound of metal boots walking away. "She was the one. We picked out names for our children. You don't do that with just anyone."
"No." Smith's glass is empty. So is Ianto's. They order another round.
"Her brother Kyle died when she was little. She always wanted to name a son after him."
"Rose said she wanted to name her kid after her dad. Never thought she'd meet him. Guess now she'd name a kid after the Doctor." He snorted. "Or Captain Charisma."
"Not something you'd normally hear on a playground." He's just tipsy enough to think "Charisma" would be a pretty name for a girl.
"Look on the bright side. When she goes back, maybe she'll name the kids after us."
"Back?"
"To the other universe. That's the project she's working on. All her life, she's wanted her dad back, and now that she's got him, all she wants is to get the hell away." He says something else under his breath. It does not appear to be flattering to Rose.
"There's a way to the other universe? I thought you were stuck here." Rose has indicated she's trapped. Ianto thought that was why she was burying herself in work and sex. It's why he does.
"Maybe. She's doing what she can to change that. If she can find a way home, she'll be gone. Take my advice, don't get too attached."
"Right." Another universe, where copies of them are running around, other lives, other paths.
Lisa.
Ianto is suddenly very, very sober.
***
For Rose, Ianto is a study in contrasts to her former lovers. He's nothing like Jimmy, nothing like Jack, and certainly the only thing he has in common with the Doctor is his affectation of pinstripes. Mickey, well, Mickey's complicated, a sometimes best friend and sometimes lover and sometimes coward and sometimes hero. He's offered her his tacit approval of this latest fling, and she's seen them work together, and she thinks they might have quite a bit in common.
Ianto brings her flowers at the right times. He's the perfect degree of deferential to her parents. He doesn't use his relationship with her to gain special favours at work, though she does, showing up at his desk and encouraging him to take a break with her. She tells him about her project, and she's been as plain as possible that this is something temporary, that she isn't staying. He seems to understand. It might even be a relief for him to know that she's in this for the shagging, the warmth at night, and not for any ideas of long-term commitments.
She likes fucking him against a desk in an empty office in the afternoon, likes the feel of his sheets on her back while he moves inside her in his bed, likes the firm feel of her headboard in her hands as she rides him in hers. She finds it funny when he times how long it takes her to come, using a dorky old stopwatch. She likes the chocolates he brings for her mum, likes the polite "sir" he uses when he speaks to Pete, and if he's uncomfortable around little kids, at least they're not planning on having any and she can appreciate the way he tries to be nice to Tony.
For something not meant to last, he's good for her.
***
For Ianto, Rose is a study in contrasts to Lisa. Lisa used to pour money into lotions and creams, spreading each in a well-defined routine over her skin, making every inch of her soft and fragrant. He spent hours kissing her calves, her knees, her arms, tasting the vanilla and jasmine and amber flavours, breathing in the good scent of talcum powder before burying his mouth in the even better scent of woman. Rose says she grew accustomed to quick showers aboard a thing called the TARDIS, using whatever soap happened to be around, and although she's living in luxury with as much wealth as anyone could ask, she still favours simple shampoos and a bar of Lux. She says she doesn't want to get used to things she won't be able to keep. He thinks she might be more used to him than that, but he keeps quiet, uses his mouth for other things.
He's dated before, and has the basic training of when to bring flowers, how to be polite to her family, what to do to thaw the icy glare of his girlfriend's mother. He's careful not to assume privileges just because he's sleeping with Pete Tyler's daughter, and because he doesn't assume any, he's granted everything he needs: the freedom to go off with Rose whenever she asks, access to her special project.
He likes taking her up against a wall, holding her body in place with his arms and pinning her there with his thrusts. He likes the sharp tug of her fingers in his hair while he licks her to climax. He likes the rippling clench of her body around his cock, the firm swell of her breasts in his hands, the bend of her throat when her head is thrown back in pleasure. He makes a study of how long it takes her to come when he does or says or wears the right thing. He likes the smiles that aren't faked, when the two of them are sitting at dinner talking about films. He likes her stories about the places she's been and the incredible things she's seen. Even though she lives in a mansion, he appreciates that she understands exactly what it means to grow up on a council estate, and that she never puts on airs or makes him feel inferior.
For something not meant to last, she's good for him.
***
She storms into his office. The others affect not to notice as Rose stands by his desk, arms crossed, angry. "Have a minute?" she asks in a shaking voice, and he nods.
Even with all the recruiting, there are still too many empty rooms in this building. It's like working in a tomb. Avoiding the dead this once, she leads him back to her own brightly-decorated office. They never have sex in here. It's neutral ground.
"Tell me."
"Pete's pulled the funding from the project. He says it's taking too many resources."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"It's her. Mum knew I was getting close and talked him into shutting it down." She paces back and forth in the little room. Ianto sits, watching her. "I can't believe her."
"She loves you."
"I can't stay here, Ianto. Every day I'm here, it's like I'm dying." Her voice cracks.
He stands up, puts his arms around her while she shakes. He doesn't offer meaningless words of comfort.
***
Ianto makes an appointment, like anyone else. It's not exactly an abuse of his position, not yet. When Pete's PA sends him in, Pete looks up from the pile of work on his desk. "I saw you on the schedule. Did you need something?"
"Sir, I don't mean to put myself where I don't belong."
"Really?" Pete has a low bullshit tolerance.
"It's about Rose's project."
"Is that why she sent you here?"
"I came on my own, sir."
"We don't have the resources to devote to it anymore. All of the ideas have led to dead ends."
"Yes, sir. I know that. However, I've been looking through the archives as a side project of my own." Pete watches him closely, but Ianto has been careful to get all his assigned work finished. He's barely slept since Rose told him the project was cancelled. "There's an item we have locked in vault 22 that may be useful."
"I don't have people to spare, Ianto."
"Then let Rose continue the work on her own. She won't ever stop unless she makes that decision herself. You know that forbidding her will only make her more determined."
"That it will." He looks out the window. "Her mother and I don't want her to go. I don't understand why you do."
"I just want her to be happy, sir." He puts on the Butler smile.
***
The project seems designed for setbacks. Rose has learned more about engineering in the past year than she ever dreamed back home, but it's not enough. She needs brighter people than she is putting in long hours to make this work. Pete can only justify so much time on the dimension cannon, though. Torchwood has many duties, not just sending Rose to find the Doctor. She understands the priorities. If she has to do this alone, so be it.
Ianto tries to be helpful, bless. He's no more a scientist than she is, but he's always ready to listen when she wants to vent about the project. Even if the matter is over his head, he's handy to bounce ideas off of, and he doesn't seem to mind that she's doing this to leave him behind forever. It's nice not to have to worry about her boyfriend being clingy, though she rarely uses the word "boyfriend" in her head. He's her lover, and her friend, and they are comfortable in those roles. Boyfriends and girlfriends think about spending their lives together, and try to see how compatible they are on that account. When Mickey was her boyfriend, Rose thought about spending her life with him. Sometimes she thinks she could let this go, and make another try with him. The rest of the time, she knows she'll end up hurting him again, and she can accept that she is selfish, but she won't be actively cruel.
Mum is finally warming to Ianto. "Why don't you bring him around more often? Nice boy like that … " She stops herself before she mentions grandchildren, before she suggests Rose settle down here instead of pining away for someone she'll never see again. Mum does mind that the project will leave her behind forever. But she has Pete and Tony, and Rose has a plan.
"She wants everything. She wants me to stay so she can build a perfect family." The air conditioner isn't working at his flat, and Rose is covered only by a thin sheet, with her legs sticking out the sides. It's too hot to cuddle, so she splays her hand over his chest, and he covers it. "We never had a perfect family."
"Perhaps she sees this as her chance."
"I know. But this is my only chance, too." If this doesn't work, if she can't get back to the Doctor, she's going to spend the rest of her life regretting it. No number of family portraits can replace the one person missing in every conversation. His ghost watches her. She's certain he'd want her to keep trying. She even thinks he won't mind these casual couplings she can't seem to put past her. He was jealous of Mickey, a little, though he'd never said so outright, but he'd accepted her trysts with Adam and Jack as "just one of those human things." Her fingers play with the soft hair on Ianto's very human chest. "What would you do?"
"Hm?"
"If you had one chance for something you really wanted. Would you take it?"
"Like a shot."
They make love again, and it's not passionate as much as it is affectionate. Passion is when she closes her eyes and imagines the man she loves is there instead. When they're resting, after, her body still tingling, she says, "I should get home."
In the darkness, she sees something raw on Ianto's face. He's going to ask her to stay the night. She'll say yes. In the morning, they'll go in to work together, and she'll come home with him again in the evening, and she can see her future laid out before her, of a life not exactly happy but content. Please don't ask, she thinks.
"Would you like me to drive you home?"
"No. Thanks. My car's here."
"All right." They kiss, lightly, and he watches her dress and sees her out. Just to be safe, she doesn't go home with him again for weeks. They can shag in an empty office, or in his car.
Her project reaches a turning point: the stars are going out. Suddenly, they need the Doctor, and her mad quest finally has a point, and purpose, and most of all, funding. They have the plans, the miniature prototype works, and the construction has started, accompanied with more problems. She doesn't want a life with Ianto, a future, but she likes having him to talk to, and he always listens. Always.
***
She's started taking trips back to the other universe, but the timing is off somehow, and she keeps returning to theirs to reset. He won't ask her if she's found the Doctor yet, because he'll have that answer the day she doesn't return. With her goal so close, Ianto thinks he's going to be let go, but every failure brings Rose back to his bed. This should be just sex, just simple release, but they're both tinged with anticipation these days. Every time could be their last, and it adds an edge they've been lacking. The sex is amazing. She's amazing. And she's about to walk away from him forever.
"She did it."
Ianto looks up from his desk, where he's not really working on a half-finished report on an artefact recovered fifty years ago. Mickey is watching him.
Reality dawns over him. Rose did it. She made it to the right universe at the right time. She's gone for good. Since she never knew when it would be, she never bothered saying goodbye.
"Oh."
"She does that, you know. Up and leaves. Least you knew it was coming."
"Yeah." Last night, they went back to his flat and watched movies. She sat half in his lap as they passed a bowl of popcorn back and forth. Rose laughed at the screwball antics of the college boys in the film. Ianto did his impression of one of the boys while she dissolved in fits of giggles. They shagged on the sofa, and fell asleep there. There are probably still pieces of popcorn stuck on the sofa and the floor.
He remembers going home the night after Lisa died.
"Anyway, me and Jackie are going through. If the stars thing is bad, she's going to need help." Something about the way he says it makes Ianto think Mickey isn't planning on a return trip, either.
"Good luck."
Mickey clears his throat. "Anything you want me to tell her when I see her?"
Ianto turns away. "No."
He waits. Half an hour after Mickey leaves, Ianto saves his work. The report on the artefact isn't finished. He finds the thought unsettling, but it doesn't matter now. He has a briefcase by his desk which has been in plain sight and utterly ignored by everyone for weeks. He picks it up, gives the Butler smile to Jessica at the next desk over, and says, "Taking a break. Would you like anything from the canteen?"
"Ta, no." Jessica doesn't even look up from her own work.
As he steps into the control room for the dimension cannon, no-one pays him any attention. Ianto has accompanied Rose enough times that he's part of the furniture, a familiar face they'll have been expecting. After all, his girlfriend just went through.
He gives the project head Polite Stupidity. "It's been over an hour since she left. Has there been any word?"
"No." The project head knows who Ianto is, isn't sure if the privileges Ianto has been granted still apply. Uncertainty will suffice.
"Damn." He has to pitch this perfectly: fear, worry, a touch of annoyance. "Then she needs me to take this to her." He indicates the briefcase.
"Ms. Tyler never said you'd be part of the protocol."
He sighs heavily. "Fine. Wait here, I'll call Mr. Tyler and he can explain it to you." Thank God for knowing Tony's schedule or Pete would be here now and this would never work.
He gets fitted with one of the devices. He already knows their operation from months of watching quietly at Rose's side, but it doesn't matter; the device can only send him back to this universe. As soon as the crack of light fades, leaving him in a dark world that he can only pray is the right one, he takes off the lanyard and drops it in the nearest bin. There are robots on the streets, rounding up humans. It's not the first time he's dodged that kind of threat, and within a few hours, they self-destruct.
His briefcase holds a change of clothing, a few photographs, and what he could convert of his savings into gold and easy-to-carry gems. Currency is useless between universes. All he has to do now is avoid Rose, and on a planet of billions, that shouldn't be hard.
It's time to look for Lisa.
***
Rose sees Ianto's double on the screen with Gwyneth's twin, and it really is old home day on the TARDIS. Maybe she'll ask the Doctor to drop by Torchwood when this is finished. They can visit Jack, meet his friends properly, and Rose can laugh inside her head at the coincidences that shape her life, if "coincidence" is a word than can be applied to the Bad Wolf.
"Hey," Jack says, dropping his arms around her. "Thinking about me?"
"I was, actually." Her smile slips. "He told me about what happened. What I did to you. Jack … " How does she even start to say she's sorry? For leaving him. For destroying him.
"It's okay." He presses lips to her head. "Really. I forgave you a long time ago."
They stand like that for a nice moment. Donna's shooting darts from her eyes, so apparently half Time Lords are also completely human. Donna will learn there's no point in being jealous about someone who loves absolutely everyone he meets.
"Are you coming with us, then?" She's hopeful. Now that she's back with the Doctor, it'd be nice to have Jack with them.
"I would love to, but I've got someplace to be where they need me." His smile changes. Rose's stomach warms as she recognises Number Seventeen. Absolutely everyone. "I told my boyfriend all about you. When you come to visit, you two can gossip. I won't mind."
"I'm sure we'll find much more interesting topics." They meet for a kiss, and it's as chaste as the last time they parted. She loves him so much.
It's a whirlwind of goodbyes after that. Mickey told her that he's planning on staying, so it's a long hug with all the words already spoken. She's said her goodbyes to her mum, to Pete, and is unprepared to find herself back in that world, a Doctor beside her and the other, the one she loved, the one she fought for, walking away forever and leaving her there.
The girl she was would have been devastated. Rose has learned to adjust.
There are only a few people she trusts enough to retrieve her and Mum from this desolate place, who can understand about this new Doctor at her side. Mum would rather not ask Pete to drag Tony all the way here nor leave him alone with someone else. Rose dials Ianto's number. It rings and rings and goes to voicemail.
***
Three years into her career as a freelance alien hunter, Martha sees a dead man.
She's led a life unlike anything she ever could have dreamed when she started medical school. That she spent a day in a hospital on the moon, and this was only the first weird thing of many others, still astonishes her, still puts a confused, happy smile on her face. Seeing someone whose funeral she attended is not the strangest item on her life's list.
She almost would have missed him, but he's wearing a red shirt, and her mind drifted enough to bring him into focus under the beard. The drink in her hands, warm after a cold stakeout, ought to bring back memories, but Owen was trying to make the coffee then, wasn't he? So many thoughts, so many losses, Martha feels crowded all at once in the tiny café.
"Miss?"
She realises he's been trying to talk to her. There isn't the faintest hint of recognition on his face, but it's definitely his voice. The name on his tag says "Harry." Of course, Martha has ID calling her "Maggie," "Tina," and "Elizabeth," so she's not one to judge.
"Are you ready to order?" His smile is polite and ready, like it always was.
"No. Not yet. Thank you." She's starving, and she's taking up space at the counter with her coffee, but she can't think about food at this moment. Ianto moves away, and she watches him.
Back from the loo, Mickey slides into the seat beside her, taking a sip of his own coffee and peering over the menu. Martha jostles him, nudging him towards their server. "You're not going to believe this, but I think I know him. He used to be one of Jack's people."
Mickey's eyes follow Ianto until he turns around. He's back at their place with his pad out before his own eyes go wide. He recovers quickly. "Ready to order?"
"Ianto?"
"Excuse me?" But it's too smooth.
"You're dead," Martha begins to say, but Mickey interrupts, "When did you come over?" Martha turns to her husband. "You're Rose's Ianto, aren't you?"
Several things war for Martha's attention. First, that Mickey apparently does know the man staring at them in shock. Second, that it really is Ianto, and not some hallucination or alien pulling an image out of her mind. Third, that once again Rose bloody Tyler is at the centre of the lives of all the men Martha knows, and it's nearly enough for her to call up her ex just for the change. Nearly.
He almost flees, but instead they end up at a table. There's a lot of coffee, and Martha finally gets the breakfast she wants while Mickey and this other Ianto go over old times and new. Mickey tells him about their job, the things they've seen just here on Earth. He leaves out the friends they've watched die, the two pregnancies she's lost, the fights they have so far managed to get past. He tells Ianto about Rose.
"After all that, she went back?" Ianto's face is tight.
"I don't think she had a choice. He wanted her to stay put with that clone of his."
Mickey doesn't talk about Rose much with Martha. He and Rose broke up a long time ago, and part of him will always be in love with her, and Martha is used to this. She's come to the point where she no longer sees herself as the silver medal, the replacement in Mickey's heart for someone else, and she'll be damned if she ever lets him feel like he's a second choice, either. She tries to read Ianto's expression now, wonders if this Ianto was in love with Rose too, but he's closed off. He talks about his search for someone named Lisa. What he leaves out she doesn't know.
Other universes, other lives. There have to be copies of her somewhere who finished her residency and became a respected doctor in a proper hospital, copies who met Tom at a medical function and stayed with him, copies who met Mickey by accident, copies with kids.
"The other you died," Martha says. It's still a sore spot, though not on her own behalf. The rare times she sees Jack, there's an absence in his eyes, a sharper tone to his flirting. He's not broken, couldn't be after all he's been through, but there's a part of him that's never healed.
"I know. I kept tabs on him to stay out of his way. I thought about stepping in after, just like slipping on a pair of shoes." He looks down at his hands. "It didn't seem right."
Mickey takes a long look around the café. "So what're you doing here instead, mate? Waiting tables and biding your time?"
Ianto shrugs. "I can pass with false identification here," he says quietly. "It's something to do."
Mickey passes a glance over to Martha. And this is why they're still together, why they get past the fights, why neither ever thinks "second-best" anymore. She's had classes in ESP training from UNIT, and she spent a long time in the company of a telepathic alien, but she's never met anyone who can read her mind half so well as the man sitting next to her. He gives her a little nod, seeing what he needs.
"Ever think about going back to catching aliens?"
***
He uses the name John Smith. His parents are listed as John Smith Sr. and Donna Noble, both deceased. The Donna in this world married right out of school. Sometimes he goes to watch her with her family, but he doesn't go near them. It's enough to know she's there. He's looked up most of the Doctor's former companions. Some died, some lived vastly different lives, some are nowhere that he can find them. He's human enough to want to draw them all around him. He's wise enough to know they're better off this way.
Rose loves him, though it's not the way she loved his tenth incarnation but instead the way she loved his ninth. There's attraction, and affection, and she delights in his presence, but he's aware that he is the consolation prize. Rose has managed to win everything she ever wanted: a family, her lover, comfort. In exchange, she has lost the stars, and her closest friend, and even when she says her wedding vows, he knows she is mourning the loss of the other Doctor forever.
Their first child is born nine months to the day from when they arrived back in this universe. Rose has been honest with him. She says she doesn't plan on finding out who the father is, that John is human and the baby is human and that's all that matters to her. John says he understands. He thinks their little girl looks a bit like Jenny.
There are empty spaces. Jackie brings up Mickey from time to time, never in comparison, merely as an old friend gone for good. Rose gets distant then, holding her daughter in her arms, rocking her quietly. Some names she won't say. Some places she won't go. It takes him over a year of working with her to notice she avoids the fifth floor, and the seventh. It takes him considerably less time to notice that she is most passionate in bed on the days he wears pinstripes.
He has no context at all for why, the first time he leaves his watch ticking on the nightstand next to her ear, she comes so hard she cries.
***
He's freelancing with the freelancers: when they need an extra pair of hands, when they need an extra gun, when they need someone who will only ask the questions they can answer. Ianto can do tactical, he can run interference. He's not part of their team of two, but the three have an easy rapport, even if Martha is reticent around him. She doesn't like communicating with the dead, no matter how upright and breathing they are. She also doesn't like keeping secrets from her friends, but as Mickey has said to them both, exactly what point would there be to calling up people this Ianto never met?
Today he's with the equipment and trying to hack his way into the alien computer system while his friends are distracting them with cover fire. All he has to do is get past this last firewall, and they'll be able to disarm the warship remotely. Mickey is better with the computers, but he's also better with the big guns.
Ianto watches Martha while his hands work the keyboard. She's careful not to shoot anyone unless she has to, but this situation is looking like she will unless they can pull out a miracle. He tries another route around the firewall.
A sleek black car screeches up the road; he can hear it coming, tries not to be distracted himself. The second it's close, four people get out with guns. Ianto touches his ear to warn Mickey and Martha, but the four take up positions clearly opposing the aliens. Then the distraction is complete, the firewall is down, and he's inside. "Got them," he says over the comm.
After that, it's a basic clean up job.
As the newcomers talk to Mickey and Martha, Ianto hangs back. Worry trickles down his neck. He made many observations of his duplicate in this universe. He's seen some of these people before: the taller of the two men, the shorter of the two women. He knows alien hunting is not the largest line of work in the world, and eventually, they are going to run into everyone.
One of the women comes over, not the one he recognises. He pretends to busy himself with putting away equipment, his heart racing.
"Hi. Did you do that?"
"I helped."
"It was a good crack. We were watching on our scanners on the way here."
"Thanks."
She holds out her hand. "Karishma Raina. I'm new," she adds with a little smile. Hers is friendly and shy, not yet blanched with too much knowledge. "All this alien stuff is exciting, isn't it?"
"It is." He shakes her hand.
He's had years to consider this.
From the minute Mickey told him about Rose's project, his goal was to find a way here, try to find Lisa. From the day he read her name on the plaque at the ruins of Canary Wharf, he's been adrift. Had he stayed in his home universe, Rose would have returned. Mickey says he left because he didn't want to be around when she was so clearly in love with someone else; Ianto never minded. Although he's taken lovers here, he misses the undemanding simplicity of being with a lover who doesn't pretend he's more than a convenient stand-in, almost as much as he misses having a purpose.
There's one organisation with the means and the motivation to develop another dimension cannon. There are an infinite number of worlds. Lisa has to have survived somewhere, and that's enough purpose for Ianto to whore himself out in this universe as meticulously as he did in the last one.
Ianto puts on the Butler smile, with a shade of Polite Incomprehension. "Ianto Jones. I'm new, too. I think you should introduce me to your friends."
***
The End
***