TW Fic: Fire, Flood, Festivus
Title: Fire, Flood, Festivus
Author: nancybrown
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters/Pairings: Original Characters, Jack/Ianto/Lisa, Tony Tyler/OC, Gwen/Rhys
Rating: R
Words: 2200
Warnings: POV character with damaged moral compass, mention of underage
Summary: Three times Isabelle Jones almost destroyed Cardiff, with the help of her best mate Eddie Williams.
AN: Part of the Rabbit Hole AU. Fills Trope Bingo square: snowed in
***
Flood
***
"C'mon, Eddie," Isabelle said impatiently, grabbing Eddie's chubby hand.
"We're gonna get in trouble."
Isabelle stopped dragging her best friend and glared at him. "You sound like Kyle." Isabelle's brother never wanted to have any fun any more. Catch him climbing trees? No way, no how, he'd just grab another stinky book and crawl into a chair.
"Kyle dint get grounded last month." Eddie glared right back, big face scrunched up in a pout. His dad had sent him to bed with no suppers for three days, and Mam had said no absolutely no video games for a whole week. And it was Isabelle's fault.
"But this will be fun! And no-one's gonna find out. Eddie!" She said the last word in a wheedling, sing-song voice. And he gave in.
They tramped through the tall grass in the back garden, messing their shoes with wet, clumpy mud until they reached this week's secret fort, which Isabelle said was just as cool as the Hub. Eddie could screw up his imagination to kind of see it. Yeah.
When they were hidden from sight, Isabelle reached into one of the great big pockets of her raincoat and pulled out a juice box.
"You got me out here for apple juice?"
"Shut up and watch."
Isabelle reached into another voluminous pocket and then displayed proudly in one hand a tiny blue device as big as Eddie's thumbnail. When he failed to be impressed, she presented it again, this time with a loud, "Ta-dah!"
He gave in. "What is it?"
She grinned. "Watch!" She pointed the blue thingy at her juice box. The juice box flickered, and then there were two.
Eddie admitted he was impressed. Also thirsty. Isabelle magnanimously handed him one juice box, and they drank them almost dry. "Don't finish yours," she told him, sucking hers to make that slurpy noise with the straw. She pointed the blue thing at his juice again, and then there were two more almost-empty boxes.
"Shoulda copied it again when it was full," he told her, finishing his apple juice.
She glared at him, even though he was right. "I had a plan," she said pompously, obviously faking. That was okay, though. She always did. It was kinda funny. Eddie grinned as Isabelle carefully ripped off the top of the juice box to get at the puddle left at the bottom.
"Now," she said, sticking her hand with the duplicator inside, "all I should have to do is point it like this, and we can just keep making juice."
She clicked the blue thing a couple of times until the box was filled. Nice, Eddie thought. "Let me have a go."
"Nah, you'll break it."
"Will not."
After a lot of persuading, Isabelle handed the duplicator over to Eddie. He doubled the juice, and they both grinned as the second torn open box appeared.
Later, Eddie swore he didn't let his hand fall. But he was pretty sure, once Mam and Uncle Jack had cleaned up the mess and made the witnesses all forget, that he probably had clicked it as he'd pointed to that big puddle.
***
Fire
***
The thing about stealing cars was that it got to be easy after the first three tries. Also, mostly they stole cars they intended to return more or less quickly and more or less in one piece. That one time they wrecked Eddie's mam's car was not her fault, Isabelle reckoned. She'd been way careful the whole time, except for that stupid Lorash jumping out in front of them scaring her half to death. And it was close enough to Eddie's house that they could blame the Lorash and leave the car, and not get caught. So that was all right.
They didn't steal many cars anyway, and only when they needed to get some place fast. Like, that one time Mum had called to say get the hell out of town because there were aliens flyin' in and Torchwood thought maybe they couldn't handle it in time to save the city. Or, that one time Isabelle saw this fab advert for new boots and had to get to the shop. Really, they were all emergencies.
Eddie said they wouldn't have to lift so many cars once he could just borrow lorries from his dad. Isabelle agreed, although that sounded like less fun.
Anyway, Harwood's wasn't anywhere near the abandoned house in Cathays where Eddie swore he'd found an aboveground Weevil nest, and they ought to investigate (said Isabelle) so five minutes later, she had a Honda.
There were Weevils. Eddie and Isabelle had smoke bombs to ferret them out. And the words on the side of the smoke bombs said they were inflammable, which was obviously the opposite of flammable, so that should have been fine.
Thank God Uncle Jack never found out it was them. Isabelle would have been grounded till she was ninety-nine, and he'd still have yelled at her after.
***
Snow
***
The thing was, Isabelle thought they ought to have a proper snow at Christmas. After all, it was their very first real Christmas as a family after all the trouble with Kyle and everything. Sixteen years building a plausible cover story for her brother, another year with him in a UNIT prison cell for swiping their first contact out from right under their noses, another six months to spring his boyfriend and for Callie to get hitched to that drip of a husband of hers, and now, Christmas. No secret plans, no wondering if she'd ever see Kyle again, no fears about her parents also winding up behind bars, and at least for now, fewer worries about losing her dad. It was shaping up to be a great Christmas. But perfect would be better.
"The boys are here," Isabelle shouted down the hallway, dragging first Kyle then Tony into a hug.
As they got to the sitting room, Michael said to Eddie, "We are clearly chopped liver."
"Already knew that," said Eddie. He got up and shook hands with the boys, all formal and stuff. Weird, but whatever. Eddie was pretending he was like an adult or something lately, all mature with his probably-fiancée Mindy, who hadn't even shown. Isabelle liked Mindy, she did. She was good for Eddie, talked to him about getting a real job (but Isabelle wouldn't hold that against her much) and buying a proper house (where Isabelle definitely planned to live with them until she found her own place). But Mindy was a bit scared of Isabelle's family, no idea why, and as they'd explained patiently to Michael, Eddie was part of the family, so even if he had to bail later to go spend Christmas with Aunt Gwen and Uncle Rhys, of course he had to come here first. Obviously.
It was a sign that her own family was stellar in its own fucked-up way that they completely agreed.
Uncle Jack was in the kitchen, so Isabelle wandered in to see if he was ready with the food, if he needed any help, or if she could take some snacks. Ensuring he wasn't grabbing anything hot or dangerous at the time, she tiptoed up to kiss him on the cheek. "Dinner ready yet?"
"Almost." He went to hand her a carving knife, then thought better of it. "Carry this in." He gave her a plate of veg instead. "Go. And send your sister in."
It was a true fact that, while Uncle Jack was not the greatest cook in the world, he was by far the best among their three parents. Mum was a disaster in the kitchen. Dad wasn't bad, but he hadn't been well, so now it was all vegetables and tiny slices of lean meat all around as Uncle Jack attempted to kill his husband with kindness. Isabelle sighed, then she put on a grin as she brought out the platter.
"Callie, go help."
"I'll help," said Tony, following her, but even Eddie was bright enough to grab his sleeve. Uncle Jack liked Tony well enough, really he did, but Mum said it was like what happened when two magnetic poles came together what matched: no way were they going to cuddle up together, no how. Too much alike.
Anyway, within a couple of minutes, food was on the table, and Isabelle busied herself with eating. They never had good food in at the flat, just random stuff she thought looked good at the shop, but somehow always turned into a lone pot of expired kiwi-flavoured yoghurt by morning. This dinner was loads better than anything she'd eaten in weeks, even if it had way more greens than she normally liked.
After dinner, they had to sit around and talk like adults did, right? Okay, with more cards and possibly a Harkness-modified version of "never have I ever" because frankly, there was nothing Uncle Jack hadn't done at least twice.
"No, seriously, how old you were the first time, and if you can remember their name."
Tony sat back, rubbing his chin. "Define sex."
Jack glanced at him and then at Kyle. "Sounds like we need to have that talk."
"No, hear me out. Everyone says you lose your virginity when boy meets girl, take tab A, insert into slot B, repeat if necessary. But half the people in this room have had pretty non-traditional versions of same. So, I ask the expert," he said, inclining his head to Uncle Jack, "to define sex."
Uncle Jack's face went thoughtful. "All right. First time with at least one other person present and participating of their own free will, with the goal of achieving an orgasm. Fair?"
"Fair," said Mum.
Isabelle said, "That's easy. Fourteen, with Donnie Frague."
"You were fourteen?" asked Dad, suddenly concerned. Isabelle shrugged. Hadn't been that good, and she'd had loads better since.
The tales went round and round, though Kyle was blushing to his ears before he admitted he'd been twenty-five and his only one was sitting right there. Poor guy. Isabelle had tried setting him up with anybody she could, but no go. Eh, at least he was getting some now, and Tony was a good enough chap.
Cute, too, and that was a problem, but she was dealing with it.
Isabelle went to the window and grinned. She'd swiped the Chula weather remapper from the Hub when she'd gone to visit two days ago. Uncle Jack still went in to consult sometimes, and nobody noticed Isabelle. Hadn't she been a baby there, napping in his office 'cos his was almost as big as Aunt Gwen's? Hadn't her family run the place for ages until Mum and Dad retired? Nobody cared.
She saw the snow swirling in the air, piling everywhere like powdered sugar. She closed the curtains again before the rest saw.
Eddie said, "Ah. It was Kenzie Davis, when I was seventeen." That caught her attention.
"Eddie Williams, you are a liar."
"I am not! I remember like it was yesterday. It was just after her birthday, and she's three months younger'n I am."
"Yeah, but I shagged her at your seventeenth birthday party, and trust me when I say, nobody got in those knickers before I did." Isabelle folded her arms. "Anyway, you and I hooked up that one time when we were sixteen and bored."
Eddie's face grew all red as Callie laughed, and Uncle Jack said, "Remind me to tell Rhys he owes me ten quid." He frowned. "Wait, never mind. If they were sixteen, I owe Gwen twenty."
Dad said, "You did not bet on the children's sex lives."
"Not a bet! Well, not a real bet. We were just talking."
"Christ," said Mum, and went to grab the desserts.
Isabelle did some mad arithmetic in her head. "Eddie Williams, was I your first girl?"
"No, o'course not." But he was now beet red and not looking at her dads.
"Because you'd said you'd shagged Nan Greeson before. But you didn't." She poked him. "Eddie! You should of said!"
They started quarrelling, which Callie broke up by looking out the window. "When did the snow start?" with that kind of worried tone she got when the cops showed up at one of her protests.
"'Bout thirty minutes ago," Isabelle said, then hoped the rest didn't wonder why she knew.
"Only it's piled awfully high," said Callie, still worried, and she made room at the window for everyone else to see the mad drifts that were already almost halfway up the sides of the cars.
"Cool," said Eddie.
"I'll get blankets," said Dad firmly. "None of you are driving home in this. You can spend the night here."
Eddie caught Isabelle's eye. He tilted his head at the snow-covered street. She raised her eyebrows and covered her mouth as she mouthed, "Oops."
Eddie shrugged, but as he called Mindy to let her know he was staying, Isabelle saw his grin.
***
The End
***
Author: nancybrown
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters/Pairings: Original Characters, Jack/Ianto/Lisa, Tony Tyler/OC, Gwen/Rhys
Rating: R
Words: 2200
Warnings: POV character with damaged moral compass, mention of underage
Summary: Three times Isabelle Jones almost destroyed Cardiff, with the help of her best mate Eddie Williams.
AN: Part of the Rabbit Hole AU. Fills Trope Bingo square: snowed in
***
Flood
***
"C'mon, Eddie," Isabelle said impatiently, grabbing Eddie's chubby hand.
"We're gonna get in trouble."
Isabelle stopped dragging her best friend and glared at him. "You sound like Kyle." Isabelle's brother never wanted to have any fun any more. Catch him climbing trees? No way, no how, he'd just grab another stinky book and crawl into a chair.
"Kyle dint get grounded last month." Eddie glared right back, big face scrunched up in a pout. His dad had sent him to bed with no suppers for three days, and Mam had said no absolutely no video games for a whole week. And it was Isabelle's fault.
"But this will be fun! And no-one's gonna find out. Eddie!" She said the last word in a wheedling, sing-song voice. And he gave in.
They tramped through the tall grass in the back garden, messing their shoes with wet, clumpy mud until they reached this week's secret fort, which Isabelle said was just as cool as the Hub. Eddie could screw up his imagination to kind of see it. Yeah.
When they were hidden from sight, Isabelle reached into one of the great big pockets of her raincoat and pulled out a juice box.
"You got me out here for apple juice?"
"Shut up and watch."
Isabelle reached into another voluminous pocket and then displayed proudly in one hand a tiny blue device as big as Eddie's thumbnail. When he failed to be impressed, she presented it again, this time with a loud, "Ta-dah!"
He gave in. "What is it?"
She grinned. "Watch!" She pointed the blue thingy at her juice box. The juice box flickered, and then there were two.
Eddie admitted he was impressed. Also thirsty. Isabelle magnanimously handed him one juice box, and they drank them almost dry. "Don't finish yours," she told him, sucking hers to make that slurpy noise with the straw. She pointed the blue thing at his juice again, and then there were two more almost-empty boxes.
"Shoulda copied it again when it was full," he told her, finishing his apple juice.
She glared at him, even though he was right. "I had a plan," she said pompously, obviously faking. That was okay, though. She always did. It was kinda funny. Eddie grinned as Isabelle carefully ripped off the top of the juice box to get at the puddle left at the bottom.
"Now," she said, sticking her hand with the duplicator inside, "all I should have to do is point it like this, and we can just keep making juice."
She clicked the blue thing a couple of times until the box was filled. Nice, Eddie thought. "Let me have a go."
"Nah, you'll break it."
"Will not."
After a lot of persuading, Isabelle handed the duplicator over to Eddie. He doubled the juice, and they both grinned as the second torn open box appeared.
Later, Eddie swore he didn't let his hand fall. But he was pretty sure, once Mam and Uncle Jack had cleaned up the mess and made the witnesses all forget, that he probably had clicked it as he'd pointed to that big puddle.
***
Fire
***
The thing about stealing cars was that it got to be easy after the first three tries. Also, mostly they stole cars they intended to return more or less quickly and more or less in one piece. That one time they wrecked Eddie's mam's car was not her fault, Isabelle reckoned. She'd been way careful the whole time, except for that stupid Lorash jumping out in front of them scaring her half to death. And it was close enough to Eddie's house that they could blame the Lorash and leave the car, and not get caught. So that was all right.
They didn't steal many cars anyway, and only when they needed to get some place fast. Like, that one time Mum had called to say get the hell out of town because there were aliens flyin' in and Torchwood thought maybe they couldn't handle it in time to save the city. Or, that one time Isabelle saw this fab advert for new boots and had to get to the shop. Really, they were all emergencies.
Eddie said they wouldn't have to lift so many cars once he could just borrow lorries from his dad. Isabelle agreed, although that sounded like less fun.
Anyway, Harwood's wasn't anywhere near the abandoned house in Cathays where Eddie swore he'd found an aboveground Weevil nest, and they ought to investigate (said Isabelle) so five minutes later, she had a Honda.
There were Weevils. Eddie and Isabelle had smoke bombs to ferret them out. And the words on the side of the smoke bombs said they were inflammable, which was obviously the opposite of flammable, so that should have been fine.
Thank God Uncle Jack never found out it was them. Isabelle would have been grounded till she was ninety-nine, and he'd still have yelled at her after.
***
Snow
***
The thing was, Isabelle thought they ought to have a proper snow at Christmas. After all, it was their very first real Christmas as a family after all the trouble with Kyle and everything. Sixteen years building a plausible cover story for her brother, another year with him in a UNIT prison cell for swiping their first contact out from right under their noses, another six months to spring his boyfriend and for Callie to get hitched to that drip of a husband of hers, and now, Christmas. No secret plans, no wondering if she'd ever see Kyle again, no fears about her parents also winding up behind bars, and at least for now, fewer worries about losing her dad. It was shaping up to be a great Christmas. But perfect would be better.
"The boys are here," Isabelle shouted down the hallway, dragging first Kyle then Tony into a hug.
As they got to the sitting room, Michael said to Eddie, "We are clearly chopped liver."
"Already knew that," said Eddie. He got up and shook hands with the boys, all formal and stuff. Weird, but whatever. Eddie was pretending he was like an adult or something lately, all mature with his probably-fiancée Mindy, who hadn't even shown. Isabelle liked Mindy, she did. She was good for Eddie, talked to him about getting a real job (but Isabelle wouldn't hold that against her much) and buying a proper house (where Isabelle definitely planned to live with them until she found her own place). But Mindy was a bit scared of Isabelle's family, no idea why, and as they'd explained patiently to Michael, Eddie was part of the family, so even if he had to bail later to go spend Christmas with Aunt Gwen and Uncle Rhys, of course he had to come here first. Obviously.
It was a sign that her own family was stellar in its own fucked-up way that they completely agreed.
Uncle Jack was in the kitchen, so Isabelle wandered in to see if he was ready with the food, if he needed any help, or if she could take some snacks. Ensuring he wasn't grabbing anything hot or dangerous at the time, she tiptoed up to kiss him on the cheek. "Dinner ready yet?"
"Almost." He went to hand her a carving knife, then thought better of it. "Carry this in." He gave her a plate of veg instead. "Go. And send your sister in."
It was a true fact that, while Uncle Jack was not the greatest cook in the world, he was by far the best among their three parents. Mum was a disaster in the kitchen. Dad wasn't bad, but he hadn't been well, so now it was all vegetables and tiny slices of lean meat all around as Uncle Jack attempted to kill his husband with kindness. Isabelle sighed, then she put on a grin as she brought out the platter.
"Callie, go help."
"I'll help," said Tony, following her, but even Eddie was bright enough to grab his sleeve. Uncle Jack liked Tony well enough, really he did, but Mum said it was like what happened when two magnetic poles came together what matched: no way were they going to cuddle up together, no how. Too much alike.
Anyway, within a couple of minutes, food was on the table, and Isabelle busied herself with eating. They never had good food in at the flat, just random stuff she thought looked good at the shop, but somehow always turned into a lone pot of expired kiwi-flavoured yoghurt by morning. This dinner was loads better than anything she'd eaten in weeks, even if it had way more greens than she normally liked.
After dinner, they had to sit around and talk like adults did, right? Okay, with more cards and possibly a Harkness-modified version of "never have I ever" because frankly, there was nothing Uncle Jack hadn't done at least twice.
"No, seriously, how old you were the first time, and if you can remember their name."
Tony sat back, rubbing his chin. "Define sex."
Jack glanced at him and then at Kyle. "Sounds like we need to have that talk."
"No, hear me out. Everyone says you lose your virginity when boy meets girl, take tab A, insert into slot B, repeat if necessary. But half the people in this room have had pretty non-traditional versions of same. So, I ask the expert," he said, inclining his head to Uncle Jack, "to define sex."
Uncle Jack's face went thoughtful. "All right. First time with at least one other person present and participating of their own free will, with the goal of achieving an orgasm. Fair?"
"Fair," said Mum.
Isabelle said, "That's easy. Fourteen, with Donnie Frague."
"You were fourteen?" asked Dad, suddenly concerned. Isabelle shrugged. Hadn't been that good, and she'd had loads better since.
The tales went round and round, though Kyle was blushing to his ears before he admitted he'd been twenty-five and his only one was sitting right there. Poor guy. Isabelle had tried setting him up with anybody she could, but no go. Eh, at least he was getting some now, and Tony was a good enough chap.
Cute, too, and that was a problem, but she was dealing with it.
Isabelle went to the window and grinned. She'd swiped the Chula weather remapper from the Hub when she'd gone to visit two days ago. Uncle Jack still went in to consult sometimes, and nobody noticed Isabelle. Hadn't she been a baby there, napping in his office 'cos his was almost as big as Aunt Gwen's? Hadn't her family run the place for ages until Mum and Dad retired? Nobody cared.
She saw the snow swirling in the air, piling everywhere like powdered sugar. She closed the curtains again before the rest saw.
Eddie said, "Ah. It was Kenzie Davis, when I was seventeen." That caught her attention.
"Eddie Williams, you are a liar."
"I am not! I remember like it was yesterday. It was just after her birthday, and she's three months younger'n I am."
"Yeah, but I shagged her at your seventeenth birthday party, and trust me when I say, nobody got in those knickers before I did." Isabelle folded her arms. "Anyway, you and I hooked up that one time when we were sixteen and bored."
Eddie's face grew all red as Callie laughed, and Uncle Jack said, "Remind me to tell Rhys he owes me ten quid." He frowned. "Wait, never mind. If they were sixteen, I owe Gwen twenty."
Dad said, "You did not bet on the children's sex lives."
"Not a bet! Well, not a real bet. We were just talking."
"Christ," said Mum, and went to grab the desserts.
Isabelle did some mad arithmetic in her head. "Eddie Williams, was I your first girl?"
"No, o'course not." But he was now beet red and not looking at her dads.
"Because you'd said you'd shagged Nan Greeson before. But you didn't." She poked him. "Eddie! You should of said!"
They started quarrelling, which Callie broke up by looking out the window. "When did the snow start?" with that kind of worried tone she got when the cops showed up at one of her protests.
"'Bout thirty minutes ago," Isabelle said, then hoped the rest didn't wonder why she knew.
"Only it's piled awfully high," said Callie, still worried, and she made room at the window for everyone else to see the mad drifts that were already almost halfway up the sides of the cars.
"Cool," said Eddie.
"I'll get blankets," said Dad firmly. "None of you are driving home in this. You can spend the night here."
Eddie caught Isabelle's eye. He tilted his head at the snow-covered street. She raised her eyebrows and covered her mouth as she mouthed, "Oops."
Eddie shrugged, but as he called Mindy to let her know he was staying, Isabelle saw his grin.
***
The End
***