January 8th 2007
Okay...
I just got back from grocery shopping with Megan. I came back home to a dark, smelly refrigerator full of rotting turkey burgers and moldy fruit. Seems that when I started to go a little nuts and couldn't figure out how to turn off my computer, so just turned the circuit breakers off the night before I went to the hospital, I killed my refrigerator. I have bags of food sitting on my floor and I don't know what to do with them. They look lonely.
I took 12 bottles of Zicam (at least 2 death's worth!) and a bottle of vodka, about 60 Ativan and 45 Klonopin over last Monday and Tuesday. It just seemed right all of a sudden. Other than faulty last-second planning, I will always swear that it was my cellphone that kept me alive, alarms and ringtones going off all day and night preventing me from going too deeply into brain-numbing trances until I finally found it under my bed and threw it out of the window Tuesday night. My sister discovered it in the grass still going off a couple of days later when she came over to feed the cats. The ringtone is Beck's "Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometimes,"
My sister Maggie, the one who holds everything together, moved to Australia while I sat silently through group therapy. Her cat Sidney, who was hit by a car last year and lived! died a few hours after her plane left. He had a blood clot in his leg and had a series of small heart-attacks.
When I told my sister over the phone before she left that I loved her more than anyone and would miss her there was a silence and she said "thanks...we've gone through a lot lately i guess." I hung up on her. When I called back I got the answering machine.
I gave Night Train and Thunder Mountain away to one of the nurses at the hospital. I miss them already.
I thought you should know that I wrote Livejournal a short "goodbye" note and that I signed it: so anyway, have a fabulous life and "BE ADEQUITE"
I'm glad I'm alive and I'm glad those weren't my last words.
Counting down the days before my internet connection is shut down because I spent my last 17 dollars on cough medicine,
Alex
I just got back from grocery shopping with Megan. I came back home to a dark, smelly refrigerator full of rotting turkey burgers and moldy fruit. Seems that when I started to go a little nuts and couldn't figure out how to turn off my computer, so just turned the circuit breakers off the night before I went to the hospital, I killed my refrigerator. I have bags of food sitting on my floor and I don't know what to do with them. They look lonely.
I took 12 bottles of Zicam (at least 2 death's worth!) and a bottle of vodka, about 60 Ativan and 45 Klonopin over last Monday and Tuesday. It just seemed right all of a sudden. Other than faulty last-second planning, I will always swear that it was my cellphone that kept me alive, alarms and ringtones going off all day and night preventing me from going too deeply into brain-numbing trances until I finally found it under my bed and threw it out of the window Tuesday night. My sister discovered it in the grass still going off a couple of days later when she came over to feed the cats. The ringtone is Beck's "Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometimes,"
My sister Maggie, the one who holds everything together, moved to Australia while I sat silently through group therapy. Her cat Sidney, who was hit by a car last year and lived! died a few hours after her plane left. He had a blood clot in his leg and had a series of small heart-attacks.
When I told my sister over the phone before she left that I loved her more than anyone and would miss her there was a silence and she said "thanks...we've gone through a lot lately i guess." I hung up on her. When I called back I got the answering machine.
I gave Night Train and Thunder Mountain away to one of the nurses at the hospital. I miss them already.
I thought you should know that I wrote Livejournal a short "goodbye" note and that I signed it: so anyway, have a fabulous life and "BE ADEQUITE"
I'm glad I'm alive and I'm glad those weren't my last words.
Counting down the days before my internet connection is shut down because I spent my last 17 dollars on cough medicine,
Alex