Some things, you just DON'T DO
I try not to leave the house too much to run errands that involve driving unless they're a) really important, or b) I can do a bunch of errands at once. Street parking is never horrible horrible here, it probably only takes 5 or 8 minutes to find a spot during the day, but from the vantage point of being in the house, sometimes it's just not worth it. Because I am so lazy.
Today though, I ate the last chocolate chip cookie for breakfast, and there was no more plain or brown sugar in the house. Or chocolate chips. And GOD FORBID that I don't make cookies tonight and go a day without cookies. This was enough of an emergency that I schlepped myself to Trader Joe's, and I figured this way I could stop by the bank and then pick up some lunch on the way home.
The Trader Joe's here is on a relatively busy, but wide, street, and although there's parking one usually has to wait for a spot because it's so crowded. The lane to turn right into TJ's is usually a line of people waiting to turn into the parking lot. Today, I almost missed the end of the line because it was stretched to practically the end of this long block and I hadn't expected to encounter it so soon after turning onto the street. I stopped in time though and pulled over to the end of the line. I wasn't too concerned because TJ's usually does a great job of facilitating parking; they even have a person at the head of the line directing people to spots that others are pulling out of so it's super-efficient. Plus it's not Trader Joe's fault that lots of people go there. So I turn on some NPR and settle in, inching forward once in a while.
Apparently lots of people (myself included, I guess) don't work because I couldn't believe the store was so packed mid-afternoon Friday! Observing the people coming and going, it seemed to be mostly a 55+, retired crowd. Makes sense.
I'm sitting in the car, listening to Ira Glass's endearinly lispy voice when I get to the driveway, almost my turn to turn in (Yay! Only three cars ahead of me now!), when I suddenly realized that there is a silver Subaru Impreza THIS CLOSE to me on the left side, nose to nose with my car, slightly angled to the right, the salt-and-pepper haired passenger so close to me I could've smacked her nose if I'd opened my window.
OH FUCK NO.
Are you really trying to CUT IN LINE at the Trader Joe's?? I didn't wait 25 minutes just to let you cut in front of me because, what, you're older than I? Because you didn't feel like waiting in the long-ass line? Well neither did I! Because you missed the end of the line? Oh, well, in that case there's this little trick I have called GOING AROUND THE BLOCK that usually works out pretty well.
After my incredulity wore off (who the fuck DOES this??!) I debated in my head about what to do; the line wasn't moving so I had some time. I didn't know how long they'd been trying to butt in because I just really wasn't paying attention. Because no one does this! Everyone knows how the parking situation at TJ's works! And maybe because I had had an annoying day of work yesterday, and because someone decided that their one car should take up TWO of the parking spots on the street in front of my house, I was already in a bitchy mood so I decided I might as well go with it and not let them in.
So when the car in front of me moves up a little I follow closely behind it, to which the Subaru responds by HONKING AT ME. Oh, am i IN YOUR WAY? Fucker. I look over, looked at the lady passenger clutching her bag, shake my head, and mouth "no." I decided not to open the window because that would have resulted in no good. (What restraint!) The car in front of me moves all the way up this time, and I AGAIN have to maneuver my car to block the other from cutting in front of me. AUGH! Jesus Christ what is your problem! Don't make it seem like I'm in your way when you're the one who is driving your car an INCH away from mine!
Maybe THIS is why I shouldn't leave the house.
Today though, I ate the last chocolate chip cookie for breakfast, and there was no more plain or brown sugar in the house. Or chocolate chips. And GOD FORBID that I don't make cookies tonight and go a day without cookies. This was enough of an emergency that I schlepped myself to Trader Joe's, and I figured this way I could stop by the bank and then pick up some lunch on the way home.
The Trader Joe's here is on a relatively busy, but wide, street, and although there's parking one usually has to wait for a spot because it's so crowded. The lane to turn right into TJ's is usually a line of people waiting to turn into the parking lot. Today, I almost missed the end of the line because it was stretched to practically the end of this long block and I hadn't expected to encounter it so soon after turning onto the street. I stopped in time though and pulled over to the end of the line. I wasn't too concerned because TJ's usually does a great job of facilitating parking; they even have a person at the head of the line directing people to spots that others are pulling out of so it's super-efficient. Plus it's not Trader Joe's fault that lots of people go there. So I turn on some NPR and settle in, inching forward once in a while.
Apparently lots of people (myself included, I guess) don't work because I couldn't believe the store was so packed mid-afternoon Friday! Observing the people coming and going, it seemed to be mostly a 55+, retired crowd. Makes sense.
I'm sitting in the car, listening to Ira Glass's endearinly lispy voice when I get to the driveway, almost my turn to turn in (Yay! Only three cars ahead of me now!), when I suddenly realized that there is a silver Subaru Impreza THIS CLOSE to me on the left side, nose to nose with my car, slightly angled to the right, the salt-and-pepper haired passenger so close to me I could've smacked her nose if I'd opened my window.
OH FUCK NO.
Are you really trying to CUT IN LINE at the Trader Joe's?? I didn't wait 25 minutes just to let you cut in front of me because, what, you're older than I? Because you didn't feel like waiting in the long-ass line? Well neither did I! Because you missed the end of the line? Oh, well, in that case there's this little trick I have called GOING AROUND THE BLOCK that usually works out pretty well.
After my incredulity wore off (who the fuck DOES this??!) I debated in my head about what to do; the line wasn't moving so I had some time. I didn't know how long they'd been trying to butt in because I just really wasn't paying attention. Because no one does this! Everyone knows how the parking situation at TJ's works! And maybe because I had had an annoying day of work yesterday, and because someone decided that their one car should take up TWO of the parking spots on the street in front of my house, I was already in a bitchy mood so I decided I might as well go with it and not let them in.
So when the car in front of me moves up a little I follow closely behind it, to which the Subaru responds by HONKING AT ME. Oh, am i IN YOUR WAY? Fucker. I look over, looked at the lady passenger clutching her bag, shake my head, and mouth "no." I decided not to open the window because that would have resulted in no good. (What restraint!) The car in front of me moves all the way up this time, and I AGAIN have to maneuver my car to block the other from cutting in front of me. AUGH! Jesus Christ what is your problem! Don't make it seem like I'm in your way when you're the one who is driving your car an INCH away from mine!
Maybe THIS is why I shouldn't leave the house.