"she got outta town..."
sometimes i feel like it'd be so much easier if i just turned and ran away instead of sticking around to see what happens. it's not necessarily that i'm scared of the ensuing events, (mostly not at least), it's more that i'm scared of the aftermath. it's when all the dust has cleared and the crowds have scattered, when the sun retires and a silence settles in, that's when the what if's, how come's, why not's, if only's, i wish's, and too bad's come out to play in my overworked mind. sometimes it's okay, and i can control the thoughts before they get out of hand. but other times, they are too wild, too quick, and too fierce to restrain. at those times, i have no choice but to let the thoughts run rampant in my mental playground.
yet you'd think that such turmoil like this would be the result of something catastrophic. but no it isn't. granted sometimes it could be. but as of late, it's absolutely nothing. in fact, it's so trivial and petty that i don't even know why it happens. and when people ask and show concern, i just nod and smile. yes, things are fine, just fine. because really, they are. it's just some minute detail that likes to seep through that wall that we all have erected around us, and when that happens, my guards like to pounce.
so i guess in the end, it's nothing really. just an overactive imagination.
yet you'd think that such turmoil like this would be the result of something catastrophic. but no it isn't. granted sometimes it could be. but as of late, it's absolutely nothing. in fact, it's so trivial and petty that i don't even know why it happens. and when people ask and show concern, i just nod and smile. yes, things are fine, just fine. because really, they are. it's just some minute detail that likes to seep through that wall that we all have erected around us, and when that happens, my guards like to pounce.
so i guess in the end, it's nothing really. just an overactive imagination.