I can't trust people... WHY?
I dont know why but every time i trust a person i get betrayed....
So much is going on and I'm finding it harder and harder to keep my mind off of things... but i realized every moment i'm not destracted i think of things..
One is i now realized how lonely i am.... I have never had a boyfriend and no matter what if i make a friend something bad happens....
Makes me wonder... what i wrong with me.....Why cant i keep friends? why cant i get a boyfriend? maybe im to picky... idk... but it isnt a good feeling...
i dont have anyone to talk to anymore so i use this blog to talk to people that dont read my blogs.
I been feeling so sad lately it scaries me... idk if im sad and want simpathy.... or if im really sad. Idk anymore...
The only happy thing that happend to myself recently was watching NEWS... i dont not liek NEWS but they maked me feel so happy.... The same was watching HSJ.... The energy they give off makes me happy.
But even though im depressed i cant think of killing myself or hurting myself in anyway because I hope my future with be brighter than it is now...
But one thing i feel.... i dont want to deal with humans... i dont want to deal with those people at school....... Everywhere i go the people are just faces.... i cant get close.... if i know them... even if i tell them this... they will leave me...... No matter how caring they are to me... they will leave.....
I plan maybe sometime this week to tell you the true history of this depression i have.... but right now...... Im too depressed to explain it again... and i got to keep thinking..... on the story.
So much is going on and I'm finding it harder and harder to keep my mind off of things... but i realized every moment i'm not destracted i think of things..
One is i now realized how lonely i am.... I have never had a boyfriend and no matter what if i make a friend something bad happens....
Makes me wonder... what i wrong with me.....Why cant i keep friends? why cant i get a boyfriend? maybe im to picky... idk... but it isnt a good feeling...
i dont have anyone to talk to anymore so i use this blog to talk to people that dont read my blogs.
I been feeling so sad lately it scaries me... idk if im sad and want simpathy.... or if im really sad. Idk anymore...
The only happy thing that happend to myself recently was watching NEWS... i dont not liek NEWS but they maked me feel so happy.... The same was watching HSJ.... The energy they give off makes me happy.
But even though im depressed i cant think of killing myself or hurting myself in anyway because I hope my future with be brighter than it is now...
But one thing i feel.... i dont want to deal with humans... i dont want to deal with those people at school....... Everywhere i go the people are just faces.... i cant get close.... if i know them... even if i tell them this... they will leave me...... No matter how caring they are to me... they will leave.....
I plan maybe sometime this week to tell you the true history of this depression i have.... but right now...... Im too depressed to explain it again... and i got to keep thinking..... on the story.