Beginning of Truths Unseen [orig]
Beginnings of an original story that I'd thought of way back in HS before it (naturally) lost fire and died. I'm currently trying to revive it. The setting is Philippine-based and involves extremely tweaked Filipino supernatural things.
This is part of the rewritten attempt:
Truths Unseen: Beginning Fragment
Another one tonight.
The evening was drawing on quickly, the sky already shuttered in shades of deep blue. Dusk was at hand. Kite Dimagulat gathered herself from her schoolwork and took a breath. It was her time.
She sorted her things into her bag, her eyes absently scanning the empty classroom for anyone hiding. They always tried to get her when she least expected it. But they never could.
Abruptly, Kite swung her bag onto her shoulder and swept out of the room. In the schoolyard, a few students were still loitering, most busy with extra curricular activities. They were the active students. The achievers. The social ones. Kite wasn't one of them.
She sifted her hands into her hair, gathering the black strands into a sleek ponytail from which a few stray hairs sprung onto her face. It didn't matter that it wasn't perfect. Kite had never really cared about things like beauty. If it was useless to her, it deserved none of her attention.
Someone called out to her. Kite looked but didn't respond in any other manner. It was a sprite of a girl, brown-skinned like the rest of the population and equally as amiable. A friendly acquaintance
"Want to come to the Delta later?" asked the girl, Pauline, who was accustomed to Kite's silent seriousness. "You don't come by that much anymore."
"Sorry," Kite replied, her neutral expression not changing. It was the tone of her voice that conveyed her sincere apologies. "I've got another thing to do tonight."
"You never get tired of those, do you?" Anna, another of Pauline's group, remarked.
Kite shrugged minimally. "How could I?"
"It's pointless, for one." Anna said.
Kite stiffened slightly, her face growing even more solemn. No one might have noticed the change if a touch of friendliness hadn't softened her expression moments before. She focused on Anna, needing no words to force Anna to look away.
Pauline sensed the tension.
"Don't be like that," she said to her friend. To Kite, "Just do what you have to do. I know you can never back down from a challenge."
Kite nodded, her eyes subtly soft on Pauline. Walking once more, Kite continued her pace, reaching the school gate where she momentarily stood at the brink between safety and reality. Reluctantly, she threw a necklace around her neck, and then proceeded to step into the night.
==
This is the actual beginning. Does it pique any interest at all? I tried to write it so it would because I know people usually judge a story by its first few lines. I admit I'm like that. There are so many things to read out there that the only way I'll read a fic in full is if it interests me. The beginning usually indicates whether or not I'll like the style or story. If I like neither, then it's Goodbye.
++
Having been banned from anime, I shall now retreat back into my other vice: the internet. Lately, I have been on fanfic-saving (not reading) binge and have rediscovered the allure of Tom/Ginny. Oh my. I am this close to making a tiny T/G fanfic archive, this close.
That does it. I am a better archivist than I am a fanfic writer. ::bonks self::
This is part of the rewritten attempt:
Truths Unseen: Beginning Fragment
Another one tonight.
The evening was drawing on quickly, the sky already shuttered in shades of deep blue. Dusk was at hand. Kite Dimagulat gathered herself from her schoolwork and took a breath. It was her time.
She sorted her things into her bag, her eyes absently scanning the empty classroom for anyone hiding. They always tried to get her when she least expected it. But they never could.
Abruptly, Kite swung her bag onto her shoulder and swept out of the room. In the schoolyard, a few students were still loitering, most busy with extra curricular activities. They were the active students. The achievers. The social ones. Kite wasn't one of them.
She sifted her hands into her hair, gathering the black strands into a sleek ponytail from which a few stray hairs sprung onto her face. It didn't matter that it wasn't perfect. Kite had never really cared about things like beauty. If it was useless to her, it deserved none of her attention.
Someone called out to her. Kite looked but didn't respond in any other manner. It was a sprite of a girl, brown-skinned like the rest of the population and equally as amiable. A friendly acquaintance
"Want to come to the Delta later?" asked the girl, Pauline, who was accustomed to Kite's silent seriousness. "You don't come by that much anymore."
"Sorry," Kite replied, her neutral expression not changing. It was the tone of her voice that conveyed her sincere apologies. "I've got another thing to do tonight."
"You never get tired of those, do you?" Anna, another of Pauline's group, remarked.
Kite shrugged minimally. "How could I?"
"It's pointless, for one." Anna said.
Kite stiffened slightly, her face growing even more solemn. No one might have noticed the change if a touch of friendliness hadn't softened her expression moments before. She focused on Anna, needing no words to force Anna to look away.
Pauline sensed the tension.
"Don't be like that," she said to her friend. To Kite, "Just do what you have to do. I know you can never back down from a challenge."
Kite nodded, her eyes subtly soft on Pauline. Walking once more, Kite continued her pace, reaching the school gate where she momentarily stood at the brink between safety and reality. Reluctantly, she threw a necklace around her neck, and then proceeded to step into the night.
==
This is the actual beginning. Does it pique any interest at all? I tried to write it so it would because I know people usually judge a story by its first few lines. I admit I'm like that. There are so many things to read out there that the only way I'll read a fic in full is if it interests me. The beginning usually indicates whether or not I'll like the style or story. If I like neither, then it's Goodbye.
++
Having been banned from anime, I shall now retreat back into my other vice: the internet. Lately, I have been on fanfic-saving (not reading) binge and have rediscovered the allure of Tom/Ginny. Oh my. I am this close to making a tiny T/G fanfic archive, this close.
That does it. I am a better archivist than I am a fanfic writer. ::bonks self::