Is it any wonder...?
Less than 20% of women in the world orgasm from penetration... ie: straight, penis-in-vagina sex.
I know at least 50% of women, american women at least, are uncomfortable expressing to their partner what to do to facilitate orgasm. why? there are a few reasons
a: they (the women) themselves dont know how to stimulate themselves, because they do not know their bodies well enough to know what excites them. the only way to know that, ladies...is self exploration
b: they are expecting the man to already know what to do because "thats what men are raised to do"
c: they feel that a clitoral orgasm is an "immature orgasm" as we have been told over and over again, (by the men who are supposedly "gettin 'er done") thus leaving the conclusion that a "real woman" can and does achieve a "mature" and "valid" orgasm through penetration,
d: we do not want to emmasculate our partners by informing them they have NO CLUE how to please a woman's anatomy.
e: due to media, wide spread sexual misinformation, and peers they are led to believe that they are the only ones NOT orgasming.
and of course there are other reasons...but i find these are the most common.
NOW with that said, is it any wonder that while the average female may have a sex drive as strong as or even stronger than the average male's, sex is not her number one priority? There comes a point when you're tire of "taking one for the team" and you would just as soon as go straight to bed rather than lay there, exhaust yourself faking it, THEN go to sleep?
well ladies listen up: i have a secret....are you ready.....?
THEY WANT TO PLEASE US.
thats right, they want to make us orgasm, they just need to be instructed. NOT ORDERED, instructed. and POSITIVE reinforcement will work wonders.
if they found that were were faking it, and we were just "taking one for the team" they would be MUCH more upset, even rattled than if they were informed they need to take a different approach. The latter is a simple technique modification, the former is a HUGE blow to their sexual proweress creating insecurity which results in a dip in libido and THAT my dears is emmasculating.
SO, what do we do? we work through it. ladies give him a blueprint, a clue, some direction, positive reinforcement. AND as a previous advocate for "faking it" i cant believe im about so say this, but: QUIT FAKING IT! if youre not into it, or dont want to, then DONT! please please please above all: have PATIENCE!
and if you dont move in the direction of my blog, then terrible things could start to happen as i have been an example.
*YOu could start to resent him for not knowing how to get you off when he gets off EVERY SINGLE TIME.
*This resentment can and will spill over into other aspects of the relationship.
*you could develop a strong dislike for sex
*faking in will become habit, feeding him positive reinforcement for doing nothing....
*when you finally break it to him or (worse) he finds out youve been faking the whole time, it will devastate and anger him to no end.
Well there it is: if youre tired of it, do something about it. the end.
I know at least 50% of women, american women at least, are uncomfortable expressing to their partner what to do to facilitate orgasm. why? there are a few reasons
a: they (the women) themselves dont know how to stimulate themselves, because they do not know their bodies well enough to know what excites them. the only way to know that, ladies...is self exploration
b: they are expecting the man to already know what to do because "thats what men are raised to do"
c: they feel that a clitoral orgasm is an "immature orgasm" as we have been told over and over again, (by the men who are supposedly "gettin 'er done") thus leaving the conclusion that a "real woman" can and does achieve a "mature" and "valid" orgasm through penetration,
d: we do not want to emmasculate our partners by informing them they have NO CLUE how to please a woman's anatomy.
e: due to media, wide spread sexual misinformation, and peers they are led to believe that they are the only ones NOT orgasming.
and of course there are other reasons...but i find these are the most common.
NOW with that said, is it any wonder that while the average female may have a sex drive as strong as or even stronger than the average male's, sex is not her number one priority? There comes a point when you're tire of "taking one for the team" and you would just as soon as go straight to bed rather than lay there, exhaust yourself faking it, THEN go to sleep?
well ladies listen up: i have a secret....are you ready.....?
THEY WANT TO PLEASE US.
thats right, they want to make us orgasm, they just need to be instructed. NOT ORDERED, instructed. and POSITIVE reinforcement will work wonders.
if they found that were were faking it, and we were just "taking one for the team" they would be MUCH more upset, even rattled than if they were informed they need to take a different approach. The latter is a simple technique modification, the former is a HUGE blow to their sexual proweress creating insecurity which results in a dip in libido and THAT my dears is emmasculating.
SO, what do we do? we work through it. ladies give him a blueprint, a clue, some direction, positive reinforcement. AND as a previous advocate for "faking it" i cant believe im about so say this, but: QUIT FAKING IT! if youre not into it, or dont want to, then DONT! please please please above all: have PATIENCE!
and if you dont move in the direction of my blog, then terrible things could start to happen as i have been an example.
*YOu could start to resent him for not knowing how to get you off when he gets off EVERY SINGLE TIME.
*This resentment can and will spill over into other aspects of the relationship.
*you could develop a strong dislike for sex
*faking in will become habit, feeding him positive reinforcement for doing nothing....
*when you finally break it to him or (worse) he finds out youve been faking the whole time, it will devastate and anger him to no end.
Well there it is: if youre tired of it, do something about it. the end.