A Rewrite

[nana_rena]

So I have been having major problems with my post grad application. Mostly because it just seemed too lax and convoluted somehow. It seemed like I was using a paragraph to say something that could have been said in one sentence. In other words, I wanted to be more concise and to the point. Something that the application was seriously lacking

Comments

[nana_rena]

I guess the reason he has not told us how he gives out XP is so that we could not abuse his system, which is rather insulting, because that does imply that he does not trust us not to cheat.

As to the question of fun, after all this rambling. i' not sure anymore. Most times the game seems more frustrating than fun, although I do enjoy playing with the group as a whole.

It has been pointed out to me on several occasions that I don't handle setbacks and failures in games very well, so I am not sure if I am completely objective as to the unfairness of the game. It could just be that I don't handle fallout well and am whining about nothing.

On the other hand at the end of the last session I did point put to the GM that he shows us things and then takes them away, before we have had a chance to use them. He called me yesterday and said he was insulted by this, because it is not the way he hosts games. I apologized and he explained that the reason that we have lost resources is because of choices we made and if we had chosen differently, it would not have happened.

I disagreed with him there because we did not make a choice where we would even have been aware that we were risking anything. We did not make a choice at all in fact and we were not aware that this resource, which we sorely needed could be taken away. I didn't say anything to him, because I did not want to upset him more.

The games i have been playing recently, expeting this GURPS have been more story driven and heavily character interaction based. This GURPS game does not interest me as much because it seems to be rule wanking heavy, (much heavier than when I last played GURPS in another goup) and more about what you can't do than what you can. That is a quality in a game that I have never liked. Why focus on what you can't do than what you can anyway+

The GURPS game is also very heavily focused on combat. Which could be fun, if it didn't always go the same way for us. Very little success, really difficult opponents, who do lots of damage and almost TPK nearly every time. In fact, I can't remember any combat in which three out of four characters were not almost dead or critically injured or maimed. When this happens there is always an NPC or other Deus Ex Machina that comes in to save the whales, I mean day.

The GM also mentioned that the challenges will be getting even harder, which is ridiculous, since we can barely manage the ones we face now.

So all in all, I guess I'm not having all that much fun, but I feel like I am not allowed to complain, considering what a bad RPer I am. Also I feel like I should be grateful that people want to play with me, despite my flaws as a player. I have recently lost all confidence in myself as a gamer. The group is very nice and the GM is a nice person and all, but as a GM, he seems inflexible, repetitive and of the player vs GM school of playing. It could be that our ideas of what the roles of players and GM are and what is fun are just different. But honestly I feel uncomfortable pointing a finger or criticizing someone, when I myself am a pretty awful player as has been pointed out to me, via constructive criticism. The term awful player is mine, not the people's who critiqued me.

[mitzi007]

I don't know whether he is a good GM or not. Okay that's not true, he sounds pretty crappy GM to me but I try to be charitable. Perhaps he is a fine GM for a certain type of game, there are people who enjoy it when at the beginning of a fight scene you break out rule books and six hours later a minute of game time has passed. But he is definitely not a good match for you. I think it's sad that you have to walk on eggshells and can't even voice criticism in fear of upsetting him. And sounds like the other players aren't happy either so it isn't just you.

If I were you I'd quit the game. Do you really need that shit? If you really are an awful player like you say but want to keep gaming, then you need a game that lets you grow and improve. Not every type of game suit everyone and you don't have to punish yourself by sticking to a game you don't enjoy.

Oh, and no wonder you have lost confidence as a player if all people do is belittle you and tell you how much you suck, no matter how constructively. (And I bet your GM wouldn't know constructive if it bit his ass.) Find a game that fits your style and that you enjoy and then start developing as a player.

[nana_rena]

I have decided that when my character dies I'll quit the game. I don't know how long that will be because although it does seem that the GM is happy to have us beaten to an inch of our lives, but does not kill us. There is always an NPC that saves the day and we survive just barely.

I prefer immersive character driven games and this Gurps one just seems to be about all the minuses you get from just about anything, which bores me. I am too timid to tell the GM straight off that I don't want to continue, but when my character dies I'll quit.