Let me be with you;

Dec 26, 2021 13:14




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redl_ightdamage June 18 2009, 07:06:43 UTC
I've always been the last and it doesn't look like it will change anytime soon. I'll always be there for you but there are limits to everything. I should be used to this shit but sometimes it hurts. I have no heart, to be honest. I couldn't care less if people get hurt by my words or my actions be it my parents, family members or my friends. No matter how much i try to change, there isn't a point to it so why do I even bother.

I'm last all the time, no matter the situation. Everybody seems to be bored of me after some time, yeah, I get it. Even you. Consciously you can deny but subconsciously, whether you've realized it or not, part of you is already bored of me.

Like I said before, I only appear when everybody else disappears. It's my job to be the last resort and I acknowledge that.

-

I'm only commenting here because your PM option is disabled. Genius.

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namuo June 18 2009, 07:15:21 UTC
But how would you ever know what people feel, even with all the things they're saying that you really aren't the last resort? There could be a whole list of people I say that I do not ever want to talk to, and even if I'm holding conversations in universal ways, do not tell me that I would assume that you're the last resort and I would reply to you last.

Would it be the same with you? Would you get bored of me? I feel like I bore everyone I talk to when they don't give me a reply. I'm sitting here, thinking, "Maybe...I'm just bothering them, and they're much more into something outside our conversation".

So, if I'm the last to reply, of course I fucking think, I'm just someone they're talking to that really isn't s important as whatever else they're doing.

Alright. If you're still angered, you are angry. I am serious to my word when I say that I still want our friendship to be there. I know you know that, and I know I'm a stupid fuck for not having the PM option abled. I'm born with no brains, even if people deny it all.

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redl_ightdamage June 18 2009, 07:25:27 UTC
I've been through this a million times, I think I can tell the difference. I'm not an idiot, we're both no idiots here. People try to be subtle, but of course it just fails all the time when it comes to this matter. I'm not deaf and I'm not blind. I can hear and I see that everything about it tells me I'm the last resort. I may not excel in studies but I'm not fucking idiot when it comes to this shit because I've been through fucking hell when it comes to these kind of problems ( ... )

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namuo June 18 2009, 07:32:46 UTC
That last part was something I was hoping to hear. I cry of happiness because I feel like it's okay, in a fucking weird sense.

I'll give it a go and WILL pay attention to conversations more. Detail-orientation is needed, I'm somewhat guessing here?

For your eye, damping your eye with a warm cloth for 30 minutes, or get a hot compressor. Cold compressors are also suggested too. A hot bath might help it or eye drops.

Don't drink/take in any sort of caffeine for the day, since it also might trigger it to stay or something.

I abled the PM option...Fine, we all have brains but I think I'm actually using mine this time.

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redl_ightdamage June 18 2009, 07:35:08 UTC
We're all weird. You have ADD, I have ADD, no wonder both match. -.- and now you just sound like a damn doctor.

WHY ARE TALKING THROUGH HERE. THERE'S A THING CALLED MSN YOU KNOW.

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