because
I CAN'T REMEMBER MY FAAAAAAAACE
A couple of months ago, at the Guy's House, I noticed a large potato on the counter that had started to grow "eyes." They're a bit into the food wasting scene, and as a joke i put it on top of the garbage can in a glass of water like a science experiment.
Either a swooping great dane tail or just due to the basic laws of "what happens when you put a glass of water with a huge potato in it on top of a dome-topped trash can," it fell over.
The next time I saw it, it had been put lengthwise in a flat container of water where some sunlight would hit it from the window.
I gave it a week, at most.
This sunday it had a couple of eye-sprout thingies reaching up nearly a foot high. So I did what any casual botanist would do, draw a crazy face on it and make talking noises for it.
it's most common lines are:
"WHY DON'T YOU LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?"
and
"I NEED YOU TO TAKE CARE OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"