100 Themes Challenge - 21, 8
Yay, more 100 Themes! Enjoy!
Characters/Pairings: 21: Prussia, France, Spain, Denmark, mentions of England and America. USUK, but only if you turn your head to the side, squint, and click your heels three times.
8: America, Canada, OC Mexico
Genre: Humour for both.
Rating: 21: M; 8: T
Warnings: 21: Vegas. Language. Did I mention Vegas? Oh, and Human Names used.
8: Adult situations. OC Mexico.
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN HETALIA. END OF STORY, GOODBYE.
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XXI: Vacation
“Oh, gott, my head,” Gilbert moaned, disentangling himself from the sheets on the bed and looking around the hotel room. The room was completely trashed - furniture upended, clothing hanging from the chandelier, beer cans stacked in a high pyramid. Francis was lying in the middle of the floor, completely (and unsurprisingly) naked; Antonio was lying across the couch, wearing what appeared to be a suit of armour and snoring slightly. Søren was under the piano, using an extremely large tiger plushie as a pillow while muttering in his sleep.
Gilbert stood up, head pounding, and stumbled over to the bathroom, carefully stepping over Francis. Upon entering the bathroom, he saw that the floor was slightly flooded due to the overflowing bathtub - partially due to the alligator attempting to swim in it.
At this point, he let out an unearthly, very manly (read: girly) scream. “HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” he yelled, running out of the bathroom, tripping over Francis and faceplanting into the floor, which immediately woke everyone else up.
“Gilbert?” Francis groaned, "qu'est ce qui se passe?"
“There is a fucking alligator in the fucking bathtub, that’s what’s wrong!” Gilbert screamed.
At this, Søren sat up, proceeding to whack his head on the underside of the piano. “Bullshit,” he protested weakly, rubbing his head where the piano had hit it.
“See for yourself!” Gilbert commanded.
“Fine!” Søren slowly crawled out from under the piano, then shuffled over to the bathroom. He cautiously opened the door, looked inside, and then slammed the door shut again, face pale. “He’s not shitting us. There is a motherfucking gator in the tub. Dude, what happened last night?”
They all looked around at one another, shrugging.
“Hell if I know. God, Francis, I fucking told you that this was gonna happen! But no, you just had to decide to take us to Las-Fucking-Vegas. Dude, everyone knows what happens to you in Vegas. Didn’t you see The Hangover?” Gilbert ranted.
“It’s too early for you to be so loud, Prusse,” Francis moaned, clutching his head and rolling up into the fetal position.
Antonio, who had long since started looking around the room, then decided to quietly ask, “Hey, guys? Have any of you seen Arthur?”
Søren blanched once again. “No. Fuck. Alfred’s gonna kill us.”
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VIII: Innocence
“It’s not fair!” America protested, stomping his foot and pouting. “Just ‘cause we’re not part of Europe, they won’t even let us in the building!”
“Well, I hate to break it to you, chico,” Mexico sighed, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder, “But the organization is called the European Union. We’re North America. They’re really not going to let us in.”
“Yeah, but it’s laaaame~! I mean, seriously, what’re they doing in there that we’re not allowed in?!” America whined.
Canada looked up at the bleak sky, hands in his pockets, and grinned. “Isn’t it obvious?” He asked of the two. “They’re having an orgy.”
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From 21: "qu'est ce qui se passe?" - "What's wrong?" (thanks to the lovely leyyn from fanfiction.net!)