Fic: In Amongst the Dust and Rubble
Title: In Amongst the Dust and Rubble
Fandom: EastEnders
Characters: Christian. Mentions of Jane and Tamwar.
Rating: PG
Summary: Christian’s thoughts after the restaurants collapse. Here be angst!
Disclaimer: I’m not a part of the BBC or EastEnders, I’m just a poor student/fangirl, please don’t sue.
Note #1: Important note first: this is written in second person, it just seemed to come more naturally and fits what I was aiming for.
Note #2: Not important note, feel free to ignore! Now I haven’t seen EastEnders since Christmas (I’m at Uni, don’t have a TV, find it hard to keep up with stuff on iPlayer etc etc) but as soon as I saw Christian and Syed on screen yesterday, I fell straight back in love with them and this episode was the perfect one to come back to. I just hate seeing Christian upset! But at the same time I love it and I’m looking forward to seeing how this storyline goes. Anyway long notes is long - onto the fic!
Date Written: 06.04.2011
~*~
He’s lying there, covered in dust and with blood covering his face. All you see is him, Syed. Your boyfriend. Your lover. You know other people are around, are moving, are talking but it’s like you’re underwater. Everything sounds far away and your vision’s blurred, except for when it comes to Syed, he’s the only thing you can see.
You don’t know how or when you moved but you’re there beside him, where you belong and where you will always be. You touch his face, his beautiful face, he’s cold. You gently take his hand, fingers entwining with his. You don’t want to hurt him. You slowly realise that you’re not alone, Jane’s next to you, her hand’s on your shoulder, she’s saying something but you can’t hear her, can’t understand. She’s looking at you with concern and love but it’s not you she should be concerned about, it’s Syed, Syed who isn’t moving and looks half dea- no! You shake your head, shaking those thoughts away. Syed will be fine; he is strong, stronger than you’ll ever have to be. And then there’s Tam; Tamwar’s there too, at the other side of Syed, the only part of Syed’s family that has accepted him and loved him and in some way loved you too. You can’t bear it. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, you weren’t supposed to be here in the rubble of a restaurant holding onto Syed’s hand with such desperation that it’s like he’s about to disappear at any moment. You wish things were different; you wish that his parents understood. You wish that you and Syed were at home, curled up on the sofa. You wish they were anywhere but here. You wish.
And with that it’s like a waterfall roaring in your ears. The world rushes back into focus and the sounds around you are suddenly deafening. And you hear yourself. You’re crying like a wounded animal, crying out Syed’s name in the midst of the unintelligible noise that’s coming out of your mouth. A mixture of “No, please no. Syed! No, no, no, no. Please!” but he’s not listening. And you sit there, in the dust and rubble with Tamwar and Jane; her arms around you the only thing that’s stopping you from losing yourself completely, as you look at the man you love, not moving, perhaps not even breathing.
And you cry.