can't focus
so i'm not doing very well right now. this is going to be an entry full of frustration, so if you aren't interested, i won't be offended if you stop reading right now. i just need to vent.
i've only been back in salem for a month and change. this week is only the fourth week of school. i don't understand how all of this can be heaped on me right now. taking six classes is a whole lot to deal with, and they are all piling on the homework, especially reading. i wish i could just stop going, but i know i can't, and i know that it will (hopefully) be worth it in the end. i've been reading so much that i've got a constant headache and i can't focus my eyes very well. however, i can't afford to go to the eye doctor right now. i know i need new glasses.
being an RA is very draining as well. they've made the rules a lot stricter for reslife staff, and you never know who will report you to the ac's for no reason at all. i've already been spoken to about something that isn't a big deal. they are also assigning us RA homework....assignments to do, aside from bulletin boards and such. we can't seem to get our required hall program together because we can't get in touch with anyone. some of the other RA's in my building are also not doing their part at all, and it is their residents that i am having trouble with, not my own. being on duty has also been taking away from my sleep....not that i've been getting much anyway.
ASA is also stressful. we just got a new pledge class on friday, including some of my closest friends, but i don't know if i can deal with them having attitudes like they've had this weekend. i'm NOT here for everyone to step on, and i'm also not here to make guesses about what i can and can't say. would it be so hard for someone to just tell us what we can and can't do and say? also, i'm getting in trouble for not going to things that i have to miss b/c of RA things, which is my job. i'm pretty sick of being in a sorority right now. it's getting catty, and there are cliques and drama everywhere. now that my friends are almost all greek, i don't know how i will be able to get away from it. also, my sorority "family" is divided, which just causes more drama. i am trying so hard to stay out of all this.
i've been drinking a lot lately. not really my thing, but i'm so stressed i can't help it. last weekend, and this weekend, and apparently some people (who do it much more than i do and get much much drunker) have a problem with it. i guess those are the other RA's that are out drinking but reporting me for doing the same thing. f***ing hypocrites.
i haven't slept through an entire night in two weeks. i guess that is a testament to how stessed i am. even last night, when i had nothing to get up for, i still woke up four or five times. it's really taking a toll on me. i can't get sick like i did last semester, i don't think i can handle it.
also, i am trying to build up my resume in case i decide to go to grad school, but all the extracurriculars are taking their toll as well. i'm an officer in three different clubs, i'm on two committees for ASA (which is required), i'm chairman of a committee for one club, and i'm a member of two others.
speaking of clubs, hillel is not fun right now. i was really excited about hillel before i came back to school, but it is not unified and nobody is making any effort to make the new people want to stay. this club is going to dissolve itself, and frankly, i don't care. you can't run a club with an exec board that refuses to communicate. it just doesn't work.
i want to go home right now. i want to sleep for hours without waking up.
i'm lonely, and there's no reason for it.
i've only been back in salem for a month and change. this week is only the fourth week of school. i don't understand how all of this can be heaped on me right now. taking six classes is a whole lot to deal with, and they are all piling on the homework, especially reading. i wish i could just stop going, but i know i can't, and i know that it will (hopefully) be worth it in the end. i've been reading so much that i've got a constant headache and i can't focus my eyes very well. however, i can't afford to go to the eye doctor right now. i know i need new glasses.
being an RA is very draining as well. they've made the rules a lot stricter for reslife staff, and you never know who will report you to the ac's for no reason at all. i've already been spoken to about something that isn't a big deal. they are also assigning us RA homework....assignments to do, aside from bulletin boards and such. we can't seem to get our required hall program together because we can't get in touch with anyone. some of the other RA's in my building are also not doing their part at all, and it is their residents that i am having trouble with, not my own. being on duty has also been taking away from my sleep....not that i've been getting much anyway.
ASA is also stressful. we just got a new pledge class on friday, including some of my closest friends, but i don't know if i can deal with them having attitudes like they've had this weekend. i'm NOT here for everyone to step on, and i'm also not here to make guesses about what i can and can't say. would it be so hard for someone to just tell us what we can and can't do and say? also, i'm getting in trouble for not going to things that i have to miss b/c of RA things, which is my job. i'm pretty sick of being in a sorority right now. it's getting catty, and there are cliques and drama everywhere. now that my friends are almost all greek, i don't know how i will be able to get away from it. also, my sorority "family" is divided, which just causes more drama. i am trying so hard to stay out of all this.
i've been drinking a lot lately. not really my thing, but i'm so stressed i can't help it. last weekend, and this weekend, and apparently some people (who do it much more than i do and get much much drunker) have a problem with it. i guess those are the other RA's that are out drinking but reporting me for doing the same thing. f***ing hypocrites.
i haven't slept through an entire night in two weeks. i guess that is a testament to how stessed i am. even last night, when i had nothing to get up for, i still woke up four or five times. it's really taking a toll on me. i can't get sick like i did last semester, i don't think i can handle it.
also, i am trying to build up my resume in case i decide to go to grad school, but all the extracurriculars are taking their toll as well. i'm an officer in three different clubs, i'm on two committees for ASA (which is required), i'm chairman of a committee for one club, and i'm a member of two others.
speaking of clubs, hillel is not fun right now. i was really excited about hillel before i came back to school, but it is not unified and nobody is making any effort to make the new people want to stay. this club is going to dissolve itself, and frankly, i don't care. you can't run a club with an exec board that refuses to communicate. it just doesn't work.
i want to go home right now. i want to sleep for hours without waking up.
i'm lonely, and there's no reason for it.