i'm hooooome

[namelessdreamer]

so i'm home, not in paris anymore
i kinda wanna go back
it was amazing
but a little sad
for reasons that some nobody probably doesn't
want to hear about
and the IM is blinking now
as the light streams in through the window
but it's not the person
it's supposed to be
and it keeps blinking its orange melody
merrily
and yet it doesn't know
and i don't know either
if i care that no one knows
or does everyone?
who knows.
i felt so different in paris
calm and sure of myself
loving life and learning
new things everyday
seeing places and really living life
but now i'm home
and i'm stuck in this rut
the same one i've been in for awhile
and it's even worse
because i am a dreamer
and i can't help using
my considerable imagination
to dream of possibility
of hope
of something more
something bigger than myself
in the churches of paris
i could go and dream
of god and of myself
and lose myself in the priceless paintings
lining every wall
in these humble surroundings
nowhere near as grand as
the lovely gothic architecture
i still have these dreams.
i have always been a dreamer
and maybe that in itself
forced me to grow up
a little too fast.
and even now i hunger for new experiences
but i'm sure i know
exactly the secret of my own happiness.
why this despair
and utter hopelessness
in the face of these beautiful
dream castles i create in my head?