I don't know if I can do this but I have to try
I have to try to be more consistent. In life in general but also on here. This is an outlet I have before me that I hardly ever think about.
Today was a misstep. Tomorrow is a new day. A day to try.
Trying is so hard. I have no motivation. No, not no motivation, because with every fiber of my being I want to be better, to be successful, to be happy and comfortable and in the light. But I have no energy. I think all the time about the amazing things I could do, because I do believe in myself. I do think I could do great things, that I have a future of wonderful things to do, but I don;t know where to start. I don't know how to put myself onto the path that is meant for me. But it is meant for me. I feel it.
I have to find a way to break through the wall. I have to find a way to force myself towards a goal. . . . But what is the goal?
I need a goal. I need to narrow down my options. I need focus. I have no focus. Because I am afraid. Of something. Some unknown consequence of making a "wrong" decision. What's the worst that could happen if I apply myself?
Well, the worst is that I hate it. I hate it and want out immediately...
Maybe if I look at the pursuit of this goal as a trial...maybe I just try it...maybe I can trust myself just enough to know before I finish if it is worth it in the end.
Today was a misstep. Tomorrow is a new day. A day to try.
Trying is so hard. I have no motivation. No, not no motivation, because with every fiber of my being I want to be better, to be successful, to be happy and comfortable and in the light. But I have no energy. I think all the time about the amazing things I could do, because I do believe in myself. I do think I could do great things, that I have a future of wonderful things to do, but I don;t know where to start. I don't know how to put myself onto the path that is meant for me. But it is meant for me. I feel it.
I have to find a way to break through the wall. I have to find a way to force myself towards a goal. . . . But what is the goal?
I need a goal. I need to narrow down my options. I need focus. I have no focus. Because I am afraid. Of something. Some unknown consequence of making a "wrong" decision. What's the worst that could happen if I apply myself?
Well, the worst is that I hate it. I hate it and want out immediately...
Maybe if I look at the pursuit of this goal as a trial...maybe I just try it...maybe I can trust myself just enough to know before I finish if it is worth it in the end.