Sad
You know it's sad; the best friends I've ever had are here on LJ, and yet in the end I'm not even sure why I post here. I suppose it's to let stuff out, but people I know found it and made my life more miserable because of it. Everyday I go out with a smile, and everyday I come back in more pain. I try to push the pain away and it just gets worse, I try to accept the pain and it still gets worse. It's not the lonliness that gets to me so much as it is the ever consuming darkness.............. I can hardly function independently anymore. Work and everything else i do is more autonomous than anything. The aching pain of 26 years grows worse with each passing day, and I know something is wrong with me, I can see it and feel it but I'll be damned if I know how to fix it....................................
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