this is for you big shoes

[nameless_love]

if i had a diary id write how u really made me feel last night but i dont have one so i guess this is going to have to do i should have been ready for the beautiful let down which i was told would come weather you read this or not just know what your reaction will be but dont think you can call me screaming i swear ill hang up this time i really did like you and i didnt think i ever would be getting to know you that night made me like you i guess its a different thing when a girl likes a guys i mean reallyl ikes a guy you cold say i wanted to believe that someone was out there for me even thou i clearly knew it wasnt you doe that make any sense?  i guess its that whole hopping for the best kinda deal but you kno only the worst will come out of it but when is the best really ever the best for you maybe this means nothing but all i have to say is that you ment something to me and now you dont beaucse no amounts of sorrys can take back how you made me feel over the phone the way i see it the only think u had to say was ill call u when i get home i mean its not like you havent before whats so different now was it getting to real for u  your not worth that feeling of the wolrd crashing down that feeling fucking blows and i think it hurt more know ing that i trusted u but you kno what blame it all on me ill be you escape out of a good thing "im done with this converation"  sorry that i fucked ur night up

-i guess that i have to hold my breath till my face turns blue for you to call me, give you two or three days to call me back the humor in guys.  even complete assholes call me right back right away and say that they are busy not like they are dropping everything but thats just the right thing to do

maybe im jsut venting
but ur not worth it

sorry to have not written on livejournal and now its like out of nowhere and i write this
-jen