Not quite dead yet
What is wrong with people? Have I missed something? Was the depression I spent my summer wading through really the saving grace of my life? Did I actually reach some life affirming energy on the other side and I'm only just figuring that out? Or is there just something wrong with me?
I want to say this really loudly....but this is live journal so instead I'm just going to type it really big, k? To people my age:
THIRTY IS NOT DEATH!
What is wrong with you people?! I seriously just read a friend's facebook post where she said that she had nothing better to do than lay on a heating pad because she is in her thirties. I know this girl, she was dead serious. She is 31. She believes her life is over because she in her thirties and she has kids.
Thirty is not where life ends unless you are terribly unfortunate. Kids are not where your life ends. Marriage is not where your life ends.
Your life ends when you give up on having a life!
You know what I learned this summer between panic attacks and sobbing fits and days when I could not look anyone in the eye for the pain and guilt of depression? I learned that I am not done living my life. I'm going to live out what I can of it to the best of my ability. I want to learn a language or two. I want to finish my degree, even though I failed before. I want to hike up a mountain. I want to travel and see a foreign country. I want to got to Japan. I want to dye my hair whatever crazy color suits me in the moment. Because moments are what we have between now and the day that we really do only have our heating pads and medication bottles. I don't want to be sucked into some insane idea that my life ended at thirty.
So you keep your heating pad, girl. I've got living to do.
I want to say this really loudly....but this is live journal so instead I'm just going to type it really big, k? To people my age:
THIRTY IS NOT DEATH!
What is wrong with you people?! I seriously just read a friend's facebook post where she said that she had nothing better to do than lay on a heating pad because she is in her thirties. I know this girl, she was dead serious. She is 31. She believes her life is over because she in her thirties and she has kids.
Thirty is not where life ends unless you are terribly unfortunate. Kids are not where your life ends. Marriage is not where your life ends.
Your life ends when you give up on having a life!
You know what I learned this summer between panic attacks and sobbing fits and days when I could not look anyone in the eye for the pain and guilt of depression? I learned that I am not done living my life. I'm going to live out what I can of it to the best of my ability. I want to learn a language or two. I want to finish my degree, even though I failed before. I want to hike up a mountain. I want to travel and see a foreign country. I want to got to Japan. I want to dye my hair whatever crazy color suits me in the moment. Because moments are what we have between now and the day that we really do only have our heating pads and medication bottles. I don't want to be sucked into some insane idea that my life ended at thirty.
So you keep your heating pad, girl. I've got living to do.