Be still my beating heart. No really. Calm down.
Soooo, I has OCD. Well no Duh. It's just nice to have someone acknowledging it in an official sense. Also anxiety disorder and borderline personality? Beh. People walk around with personality "disorders" all the time, I think putting a name to it is just an easy way to pigeon hole people.
Last couple days have been awful. Anxiety is seriously getting worse. I started to cry in the waiting room at mental health and wanted to bolt. On the plus side, I feel like these people are actually listening to what I'm saying, unlike the other ones in Hammond. My social worker meant well there but I didn't like the psychologist that she reported back to.
We can't figure out how to track down my health records for my SSI chronic Fatigue stuff. The school board no longer has my paper work from when I was on Hospital Homebound and I didn't go to the doctor after my medicare ran out when I got too old, so I don't have recent paperwork. I hadn't realized it but my friend Pixie, whom I haven't gotten to see in so long actually is a lawyer for the SSI stuff to help people get it. Sooo, I am supposed to give her a call and maybe she can point me in the right direction. I'm just trying to wait to give me a down moment from all the crap I've been putting myself through the last few days.
Really, if I could just get the CFS and the anxiety manageable I could work and not worry about SSI(so long as the brain fog clears up). I would love to work and earn my own money. That is just an awesome feeling to me. It's not the same at all when someone is handing it to you. :/ Problem being I need money to get fixed up and I don't have that. Anyway, the CFS is just going to keep getting worse regardless, also if I push myself too hard it's going to accelerate the process. :\
Also, another good thing, Abby seems to have attached herself to the little 7-8yr boy in teh family I gave her to. He also suffers from nightmares and hadn't slept in his own bed for more then a few hours for weeks. He would also sleep on his top bunk and never on the lower because he was scared. First night she was there, she got as close to his bed as she could and slept near his head and he slept on the lower bunk near her all night. When he's home she follows him through the house, waits for him outside the bathroom and everything. She also doesn't seem to be having that depression problem that she had with us those first few weeks. There is always someone being active in that house and she's being spoiled. She did seem a bit confused and bothered by my leaving when we went by for a little while yesterday but I'm sure she will be alright. I'm going to miss her, because she was very sweet and she'd just gotten to the point where she would be excited to see me when I came home, but she's a lot better off with them I know.
Errrm what else? Ahh. Went to my cousins wedding tonight. Had some rum and pineapple juice. Got to that state just before tipsy and was pleasantly okay, which was great, I've been having residual anxiety from the last couple days and feeling awful because of it. Also, if kids are anything to go by, break dancing will be back in the next few years. Soo amusing seeing young kids dancing in a style that hasn't been big since their own parents were teenagers.
Last couple days have been awful. Anxiety is seriously getting worse. I started to cry in the waiting room at mental health and wanted to bolt. On the plus side, I feel like these people are actually listening to what I'm saying, unlike the other ones in Hammond. My social worker meant well there but I didn't like the psychologist that she reported back to.
We can't figure out how to track down my health records for my SSI chronic Fatigue stuff. The school board no longer has my paper work from when I was on Hospital Homebound and I didn't go to the doctor after my medicare ran out when I got too old, so I don't have recent paperwork. I hadn't realized it but my friend Pixie, whom I haven't gotten to see in so long actually is a lawyer for the SSI stuff to help people get it. Sooo, I am supposed to give her a call and maybe she can point me in the right direction. I'm just trying to wait to give me a down moment from all the crap I've been putting myself through the last few days.
Really, if I could just get the CFS and the anxiety manageable I could work and not worry about SSI(so long as the brain fog clears up). I would love to work and earn my own money. That is just an awesome feeling to me. It's not the same at all when someone is handing it to you. :/ Problem being I need money to get fixed up and I don't have that. Anyway, the CFS is just going to keep getting worse regardless, also if I push myself too hard it's going to accelerate the process. :\
Also, another good thing, Abby seems to have attached herself to the little 7-8yr boy in teh family I gave her to. He also suffers from nightmares and hadn't slept in his own bed for more then a few hours for weeks. He would also sleep on his top bunk and never on the lower because he was scared. First night she was there, she got as close to his bed as she could and slept near his head and he slept on the lower bunk near her all night. When he's home she follows him through the house, waits for him outside the bathroom and everything. She also doesn't seem to be having that depression problem that she had with us those first few weeks. There is always someone being active in that house and she's being spoiled. She did seem a bit confused and bothered by my leaving when we went by for a little while yesterday but I'm sure she will be alright. I'm going to miss her, because she was very sweet and she'd just gotten to the point where she would be excited to see me when I came home, but she's a lot better off with them I know.
Errrm what else? Ahh. Went to my cousins wedding tonight. Had some rum and pineapple juice. Got to that state just before tipsy and was pleasantly okay, which was great, I've been having residual anxiety from the last couple days and feeling awful because of it. Also, if kids are anything to go by, break dancing will be back in the next few years. Soo amusing seeing young kids dancing in a style that hasn't been big since their own parents were teenagers.