(no subject)
bear with me on the usage of words here, i'm stretching cause i can't think
i don't think i can really remember a time where as a general whole, i've felt more unhappy, discontent, and fucking negative. i was thinking on the drive home, maybe this is just as bad as when i felt during januaryish of senior year, with the whole amanda thing and growing into how fucked up i am now. and this is before drugs, and they make me happy.
this fucking computer thing tipped me over the edge.
disgustipated, that's how i feel
and to think that my wonderful new temp job at vns is going to probably blossom into my summer coop. and after having everyone i work under telling me i'm doing such a great job, i go and fuck one up real nice. not that the two are related at all, but even before all of this when i heard that, even right after the guy said it, i serioiusly just did a mental frown
fuck everything seriously, i give up. this life game doesn't follow the rules of game as much as i don't. murphy's law really fucking kicks my ass over and over and over, and the whole good thing/bad thing within what was once a month, then a week, and now a day has got to stop, or else next thing it's gonna be is having a heart attack or brain hemmorage when having sex or something
fuck christmas too, fuck schoolwork that i have looming over my head, fuck my bad gpa, fuck my debt, fuck not going to the gym
i seriously fucking give up
i don't think i can really remember a time where as a general whole, i've felt more unhappy, discontent, and fucking negative. i was thinking on the drive home, maybe this is just as bad as when i felt during januaryish of senior year, with the whole amanda thing and growing into how fucked up i am now. and this is before drugs, and they make me happy.
this fucking computer thing tipped me over the edge.
disgustipated, that's how i feel
and to think that my wonderful new temp job at vns is going to probably blossom into my summer coop. and after having everyone i work under telling me i'm doing such a great job, i go and fuck one up real nice. not that the two are related at all, but even before all of this when i heard that, even right after the guy said it, i serioiusly just did a mental frown
fuck everything seriously, i give up. this life game doesn't follow the rules of game as much as i don't. murphy's law really fucking kicks my ass over and over and over, and the whole good thing/bad thing within what was once a month, then a week, and now a day has got to stop, or else next thing it's gonna be is having a heart attack or brain hemmorage when having sex or something
fuck christmas too, fuck schoolwork that i have looming over my head, fuck my bad gpa, fuck my debt, fuck not going to the gym
i seriously fucking give up