Football Fic: College Game Day
Title: College Game Day
Author: Namaste
Summary: With a season-long bet at stake, House and Wilson watch a ball game. More fluff. Part of the ongoing football series, which began with Go Blue and continued in Hail To the Victors? and Tailgating
Author’s Note: Warning, the following is a fic experiment, to try and write a fic “live” during the Michigan, Michigan State game, as if we’re watching House and Wilson watch the game. I cleaned it up for formatting, but if it works, I may try to do one that’s actually updated live during bowl season. Let me know if I should try.
“Causes of retinal detachment in an 18-year-old?” House asked.
“You want to run a differential during a football game?”
“Why not? It’s more interesting than Michigan State’s offense.”
First quarter, 9:03 left: Michigan State 3, Michigan 0
“You’re late.”
Wilson tossed his jacket on a chair. “I had a patient.” He looked at the TV. “Michigan State’s scored already?”
“Yes,” House said, “and you’re lying. I checked. You spent six hours doing paperwork.”
“How do you ...” Wilson remembered seeing Taub in the cafeteria, and Brennan in the hallway. “You know, maybe you could have your team spend their time -- I don’t know -- working with patients.”
House grabbed a handful of potato chips from the bag on the coffee table. “They already know how to hold patients’ hands. They need to learn some far more important skills.”
“Like spying on me?”
“Cuddy’s out of town. You were the second choice.”
-------
First quarter, 4:27 left: Michigan State 3, Michigan 0
“I’m surprised they’re playing Hart.” Wilson opened his beer and took a drink.
“Why not? I checked his films. It’s just a soft tissue injury.”
“Sure, but soft tissue can still be...” Wilson turned to House. “Wait a minute, you checked his films?”
House nodded. “The x-ray and the MRI.”
“How did you get your hands on them?
“I know a guy.
“Any of these guys you know ever hear of patient confidentiality?”
House put down his beer, looked at Wilson. “How long have you known me?”
“Right. Stupid question.”
Wilson shook his head and looked at the screen, watched as the Hart broke free of the tacklers. “Here he goes!” Nessler shouted out from the broadcast booth on the TV. “Still on his feet. If there was still any doubt about Hart’s ankle ...”
“Told you,” House said.
Wilson sighed.
-------
Second quarter, 11:58: Michigan 7, Michigan State 3
House was in the kitchen when Nessler mentioned that both Bob Griese and Paul McQuire were wearing sweater vests. Wilson flinched. Maybe House didn’t hear.
“Wow, so that’s where you get your styling cues from.” House handed Wilson another beer. “All this time, I thought it was Great Uncle Edgar down at the nursing home.”
“One,” Wilson said, “I own one sweater vest.”
House shook his head. “Two. You forgot the blue one your mother gave you two years ago.”
“OK, two, but so what?” Wilson shrugged. “They’re warm.”
“So are flannel jammies, but you won’t see me wearing them in public.”
-----
Second quarter, 3:58: Michigan 14, Michigan State 3
“I had a detached retina.” House leaned forward as Michigan State’s injured backup quarterback spoke to the sideline reporter. “It came out of nowhere.”
“Causes of retinal detachment in an 18-year-old?” House asked.
“You want to run a differential during a football game?”
“Why not? It’s more interesting than Michigan State’s offense.”
Wilson studied the player on the TV screen. “Injury is most likely, especially in a college football player,” he said. “One too many hits.”
“Boring. What else?”
“What makes you think it’s not from an injury?”
“Because it’s not the right answer.” House tapped his cane against the coffee table. “What else?”
“You already know?”
“Of course. So, causes of a detached retina?”
“Why don’t you save the quizzes for your team? It’d give them something to do until you drag your sorry ass in every day.”
“Quit stalling.”
Wilson sighed, stared out the window. “Severe myopia, some forms of diabetes or sickle cell, neovascularization ...” He looked over at House. “Should I continue?”
House grunted. “That was the easy question,” he said. “Let’s see how you do on something a little trickier next time.”
-------
Halftime: Michigan 14, Michigan State 3
“Why do I have to pay for the pizza?”
“Because you’re not cooking.”
“I don’t always want to cook, you know.”
“But yet you always do.”
“Not this time. And you still haven’t explained why I have to pay this time.”
“Because I paid for the beer.”
“Funny, this looks exactly like the same beer I picked up a couple of days ago.”
“Same brand; not the same beer. And I bought chips.”
“One bag.”
“You ate half.”
“Fine. I’m too hungry to argue. Just make the call.”
-------
Third quarter , 5:35: Michigan 14, Michigan State 10
House winced slightly as Hart limped back onto the field.
“Michigan only won the first half of the football game,” McQuire said from the booth. “You got to come out and play the second half.”
“Time to drag out the sports clichés,” House said. “How about, ‘He gave 110 percent.’”
“Or, ‘It’s not over until it’s over,’” Wilson said.
“It’s a game of inches.”
“It’s a whole new ball game.”
“That was a gutsy play.”
“That was a textbook play.”
“They just have to go out and execute.”
“They’re marching down the field.”
“Michigan State is winning the battle of the trenches.” Nessler said from the TV.
“Good one,” House said.
--------
Fourth quarter, 7:40: Michigan State 24, Michigan 14
“You worried?”
“No.”
“No?”
“Why should I?”
“Because your team is losing?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t?”
“Let’s say Michigan loses today,” House said.
“Like they are?”
House ignored him. “Then they lose to Wisconsin. Then they lose to Ohio State.”
“Like they will?”
“Worst case scenario, they don’t get a bowl game, which means that all bets are off. I don’t owe you anything.” House grabbed the last piece of pizza out of the box. “Or, they do get a bowl game, but it’s a small one, against a lousy Division II school that will completely fold, and I get free food for the next four months.”
“Appalachian State was Division II.”
“Would you forget about Appalachian State?”
---------
Fourth quarter, 3:11: Michigan State 24, Michigan 21
House leaned forward and cheered as Manningham caught the pass and broke free, getting another first down.
“Right,” Wilson said. “You don’t care who wins at all.”
“It’s a good game,” House said. “Cheering for sports teams is an all-American activity.”
“So why weren’t you cheering for Michigan State five minutes ago?”
“I was cheering on the inside. Now be quiet.”
---------
Fourth quarter, 2:28: Michigan 28, Michigan State 24
“Better get ready to share your antidepressants with Phillips.”
“He didn’t go to Michigan State.”
“No, but he bet on them.”
“How many bets do you have going on out there?”
“Don’t be jealous.”
“I’m not, just ... curious.”
“A few. And you’re jealous.”
“No, curious. Phillips doesn’t even like talking to you.”
“But he likes winning. And for some reason he somehow got his hands on Mike Hart’s films and thinks Hart has a hairline fracture.”
“You said his films were clean.”
“They are. But somehow Hart’s name ended up on someone else’s films who happened to have a hairline fracture.”
“And I suppose he’ll never know just how he happened to get those films?”
“Hey, he was the one who thought he had inside information and came to me waving around a hundred dollar bill. It was his idea.”
“And did anyone else happen to get those films?”
“Nope. Not yet, anyway.”
--------
Final score: Michigan 28, Michigan State 24
“Good game.” Wilson picked up the pizza box and the empty beer bottles.
“I’ve seen worse.”
“Like during bowl games?”
“Don’t start counting your money yet.” House followed Wilson into the kitchen.
“I think I can.” Wilson tossed the box into the garbage can and rinsed out the bottles. “I was double checking Michigan’s bowl game stats. And like you said, the better they play now, the better the team they’ll face in January.”
“And I was double checking how many meals you’ll have to make.” House leaned against the counter. “How are you at making crepes?”
“Very good. Shame you’ll never know for sure.”
Wilson walked back into the living room and grabbed his jacket. “What time is next week’s game?”
“Noon.”
“I’ll bring chips,” he said, and zipped up his jacket. “You’re buying the pizza.”
House stood next to the couch. “Want to bet?”
Wilson paused, then shook his head. “Not this time.” He opened the door. “Good night, House.”
Author: Namaste
Summary: With a season-long bet at stake, House and Wilson watch a ball game. More fluff. Part of the ongoing football series, which began with Go Blue and continued in Hail To the Victors? and Tailgating
Author’s Note: Warning, the following is a fic experiment, to try and write a fic “live” during the Michigan, Michigan State game, as if we’re watching House and Wilson watch the game. I cleaned it up for formatting, but if it works, I may try to do one that’s actually updated live during bowl season. Let me know if I should try.
“Causes of retinal detachment in an 18-year-old?” House asked.
“You want to run a differential during a football game?”
“Why not? It’s more interesting than Michigan State’s offense.”
First quarter, 9:03 left: Michigan State 3, Michigan 0
“You’re late.”
Wilson tossed his jacket on a chair. “I had a patient.” He looked at the TV. “Michigan State’s scored already?”
“Yes,” House said, “and you’re lying. I checked. You spent six hours doing paperwork.”
“How do you ...” Wilson remembered seeing Taub in the cafeteria, and Brennan in the hallway. “You know, maybe you could have your team spend their time -- I don’t know -- working with patients.”
House grabbed a handful of potato chips from the bag on the coffee table. “They already know how to hold patients’ hands. They need to learn some far more important skills.”
“Like spying on me?”
“Cuddy’s out of town. You were the second choice.”
-------
First quarter, 4:27 left: Michigan State 3, Michigan 0
“I’m surprised they’re playing Hart.” Wilson opened his beer and took a drink.
“Why not? I checked his films. It’s just a soft tissue injury.”
“Sure, but soft tissue can still be...” Wilson turned to House. “Wait a minute, you checked his films?”
House nodded. “The x-ray and the MRI.”
“How did you get your hands on them?
“I know a guy.
“Any of these guys you know ever hear of patient confidentiality?”
House put down his beer, looked at Wilson. “How long have you known me?”
“Right. Stupid question.”
Wilson shook his head and looked at the screen, watched as the Hart broke free of the tacklers. “Here he goes!” Nessler shouted out from the broadcast booth on the TV. “Still on his feet. If there was still any doubt about Hart’s ankle ...”
“Told you,” House said.
Wilson sighed.
-------
Second quarter, 11:58: Michigan 7, Michigan State 3
House was in the kitchen when Nessler mentioned that both Bob Griese and Paul McQuire were wearing sweater vests. Wilson flinched. Maybe House didn’t hear.
“Wow, so that’s where you get your styling cues from.” House handed Wilson another beer. “All this time, I thought it was Great Uncle Edgar down at the nursing home.”
“One,” Wilson said, “I own one sweater vest.”
House shook his head. “Two. You forgot the blue one your mother gave you two years ago.”
“OK, two, but so what?” Wilson shrugged. “They’re warm.”
“So are flannel jammies, but you won’t see me wearing them in public.”
-----
Second quarter, 3:58: Michigan 14, Michigan State 3
“I had a detached retina.” House leaned forward as Michigan State’s injured backup quarterback spoke to the sideline reporter. “It came out of nowhere.”
“Causes of retinal detachment in an 18-year-old?” House asked.
“You want to run a differential during a football game?”
“Why not? It’s more interesting than Michigan State’s offense.”
Wilson studied the player on the TV screen. “Injury is most likely, especially in a college football player,” he said. “One too many hits.”
“Boring. What else?”
“What makes you think it’s not from an injury?”
“Because it’s not the right answer.” House tapped his cane against the coffee table. “What else?”
“You already know?”
“Of course. So, causes of a detached retina?”
“Why don’t you save the quizzes for your team? It’d give them something to do until you drag your sorry ass in every day.”
“Quit stalling.”
Wilson sighed, stared out the window. “Severe myopia, some forms of diabetes or sickle cell, neovascularization ...” He looked over at House. “Should I continue?”
House grunted. “That was the easy question,” he said. “Let’s see how you do on something a little trickier next time.”
-------
Halftime: Michigan 14, Michigan State 3
“Why do I have to pay for the pizza?”
“Because you’re not cooking.”
“I don’t always want to cook, you know.”
“But yet you always do.”
“Not this time. And you still haven’t explained why I have to pay this time.”
“Because I paid for the beer.”
“Funny, this looks exactly like the same beer I picked up a couple of days ago.”
“Same brand; not the same beer. And I bought chips.”
“One bag.”
“You ate half.”
“Fine. I’m too hungry to argue. Just make the call.”
-------
Third quarter , 5:35: Michigan 14, Michigan State 10
House winced slightly as Hart limped back onto the field.
“Michigan only won the first half of the football game,” McQuire said from the booth. “You got to come out and play the second half.”
“Time to drag out the sports clichés,” House said. “How about, ‘He gave 110 percent.’”
“Or, ‘It’s not over until it’s over,’” Wilson said.
“It’s a game of inches.”
“It’s a whole new ball game.”
“That was a gutsy play.”
“That was a textbook play.”
“They just have to go out and execute.”
“They’re marching down the field.”
“Michigan State is winning the battle of the trenches.” Nessler said from the TV.
“Good one,” House said.
--------
Fourth quarter, 7:40: Michigan State 24, Michigan 14
“You worried?”
“No.”
“No?”
“Why should I?”
“Because your team is losing?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t?”
“Let’s say Michigan loses today,” House said.
“Like they are?”
House ignored him. “Then they lose to Wisconsin. Then they lose to Ohio State.”
“Like they will?”
“Worst case scenario, they don’t get a bowl game, which means that all bets are off. I don’t owe you anything.” House grabbed the last piece of pizza out of the box. “Or, they do get a bowl game, but it’s a small one, against a lousy Division II school that will completely fold, and I get free food for the next four months.”
“Appalachian State was Division II.”
“Would you forget about Appalachian State?”
---------
Fourth quarter, 3:11: Michigan State 24, Michigan 21
House leaned forward and cheered as Manningham caught the pass and broke free, getting another first down.
“Right,” Wilson said. “You don’t care who wins at all.”
“It’s a good game,” House said. “Cheering for sports teams is an all-American activity.”
“So why weren’t you cheering for Michigan State five minutes ago?”
“I was cheering on the inside. Now be quiet.”
---------
Fourth quarter, 2:28: Michigan 28, Michigan State 24
“Better get ready to share your antidepressants with Phillips.”
“He didn’t go to Michigan State.”
“No, but he bet on them.”
“How many bets do you have going on out there?”
“Don’t be jealous.”
“I’m not, just ... curious.”
“A few. And you’re jealous.”
“No, curious. Phillips doesn’t even like talking to you.”
“But he likes winning. And for some reason he somehow got his hands on Mike Hart’s films and thinks Hart has a hairline fracture.”
“You said his films were clean.”
“They are. But somehow Hart’s name ended up on someone else’s films who happened to have a hairline fracture.”
“And I suppose he’ll never know just how he happened to get those films?”
“Hey, he was the one who thought he had inside information and came to me waving around a hundred dollar bill. It was his idea.”
“And did anyone else happen to get those films?”
“Nope. Not yet, anyway.”
--------
Final score: Michigan 28, Michigan State 24
“Good game.” Wilson picked up the pizza box and the empty beer bottles.
“I’ve seen worse.”
“Like during bowl games?”
“Don’t start counting your money yet.” House followed Wilson into the kitchen.
“I think I can.” Wilson tossed the box into the garbage can and rinsed out the bottles. “I was double checking Michigan’s bowl game stats. And like you said, the better they play now, the better the team they’ll face in January.”
“And I was double checking how many meals you’ll have to make.” House leaned against the counter. “How are you at making crepes?”
“Very good. Shame you’ll never know for sure.”
Wilson walked back into the living room and grabbed his jacket. “What time is next week’s game?”
“Noon.”
“I’ll bring chips,” he said, and zipped up his jacket. “You’re buying the pizza.”
House stood next to the couch. “Want to bet?”
Wilson paused, then shook his head. “Not this time.” He opened the door. “Good night, House.”