6:00 AM
Hmmm Hmmmm Hmmmm....*cell phone alarm*
Jerk awake, pause, sit up. Reach over shut off alarm. "WHYWHYWHY??!!" *inner dialogue*
Stand up, lurch to the bathroom like a drunken wombat. Blindly feel around for yoga pants. Shush the inscessantly MEOWING cat.
Press heels of palms into eye sockets. Open hall closet, grope around for cat food bag. Pour kibble, maybe get it in the bowl.
Pour a pint glass of water,take to living room. Grab stashed yoga mat from beneath coffee table. Unroll mat, move heater closer, open yoga book.
Now cross legs (lotus) close eyes(YESS!) take a deep breath....*sternum pops,crackles* Breath out.... straighten up for the love of pete! *spine pops*
O.k. now plank position...Gawd I want a coffee...what'sbookedinatworktoday?Arewegettingthoseskidsoficemelt?GawdIhateicemeltwhattimejkjlsdjioaydfuioy.....
BREATHE.
focus.
shut up.
o.k., 5 breaths... Up dog, keep arms straight, press tops of feet into mat, breathe into chest *stick it out like Elizabeth Taylor*. Lower back pops. 5 breaths.
Down dog. lift butt up, keep legs straight, press heels down into mat, keep shoulder blades flat against back, stare at knees *try not to drool... you're upside down jackass* Butt pops? 5 breaths.
Down dog split. Lift right leg straight out behind. Keep foot flexed. Press back into the invisible wall. Lockyourkneelockyourknee...breathe. keep shoulder blades down and flat. 5 breaths.
Down dog Knee to forehead. Bend right knee, lower head until touching knee. Keep arms straight. Roll forward onto left toes *burp. attractive* Exhale, lower right foot down, extend right leg back out behind again. Repeat 4 times....lose count.
Low lunge. Bend right knee, take a big step forward between hands. Press fingertips into mat *don't fall over* Press let toes into mat, keep left left leg straight. Push right hip forward *oooouuch.....POP!! hip realignes, HALLELUJAH!!!* 5 breaths.
High lunge. Lift hips, bring arms straight up on either side of head, keep shoulders down. Keep left leg straight. 5 breaths.
High lunge with twist. Bring arms down sideways, parrallel to floor, breathe into chest. Turn head to right, twist entire upper body to the right until looking at back wall. Keep the left leg straight. *curse the universe and do not fall over* 5 breaths.
Rotated triangle. Straighten right leg, bend down, bring left hand down to outside of right foot, stretch right arm straight up, look up to the ceiling. *you look like a GIANT teepee.* breathe *POP!! hips realign..again.* 5 breaths.
This is what I do almost every morning to stay calm and focused. Since it has lessened the number of EPIC FREAKOUTS at work. I consider it to work.