(no subject)
So this is it...end of the semester
One more to go
And I'm not really sure how I feel about it.
Looking back it was a pretty shitty 4 months. And yet it seems the worse things get the more I learn...so is it really that bad? I called my parents the other day and I realized they have absolutely no idea what I'm going through, in any aspect of my life. They graduated high school, got married, and had kids. Their life experiences outside of their jobs is miniscule. My interactions with people make me much more suited for the outside world...and even though my grades aren't the best my general academic knowledge is still astounding if compared to someone who never bothered to go through college at all. I know classes aren't useless even if it seems I don't care, because when I go home and talk to my 'rents or non-college friends I'm always saying "Oh we learned in so-and-so class that blah blah blah". Or i bring up some paper I read that may have seemed completely boring and irrelavent at the time...but ended up being quite useful.
I'm still scared of the future though. Most people have already had to leave their friends from their childhoods, so their albany friends are all they have. I know brian is nervous about everyone moving away...I'm assuming others too. I know I am. But even more so...because I didn't lose contact with my old friends, they've always been there. Now I might lose both my albany and saugerties friends in one fell swoop. I know I won't "lose" anyone technically cuz of the internet....but long distance stuff just isn't the same. Denise left yesterday...I know she says she'll be back and all but it's still upsetting. I'm not going to be seeing one of my best friends much anymore.
Survival isn't the issue for the middle-class americans...or children of them in our case. But stability and happiness are. I wonder if I'm being selfish by worrying so much about happiness instead of just being ok with being alive and loved. *shrugs*
One more to go
And I'm not really sure how I feel about it.
Looking back it was a pretty shitty 4 months. And yet it seems the worse things get the more I learn...so is it really that bad? I called my parents the other day and I realized they have absolutely no idea what I'm going through, in any aspect of my life. They graduated high school, got married, and had kids. Their life experiences outside of their jobs is miniscule. My interactions with people make me much more suited for the outside world...and even though my grades aren't the best my general academic knowledge is still astounding if compared to someone who never bothered to go through college at all. I know classes aren't useless even if it seems I don't care, because when I go home and talk to my 'rents or non-college friends I'm always saying "Oh we learned in so-and-so class that blah blah blah". Or i bring up some paper I read that may have seemed completely boring and irrelavent at the time...but ended up being quite useful.
I'm still scared of the future though. Most people have already had to leave their friends from their childhoods, so their albany friends are all they have. I know brian is nervous about everyone moving away...I'm assuming others too. I know I am. But even more so...because I didn't lose contact with my old friends, they've always been there. Now I might lose both my albany and saugerties friends in one fell swoop. I know I won't "lose" anyone technically cuz of the internet....but long distance stuff just isn't the same. Denise left yesterday...I know she says she'll be back and all but it's still upsetting. I'm not going to be seeing one of my best friends much anymore.
Survival isn't the issue for the middle-class americans...or children of them in our case. But stability and happiness are. I wonder if I'm being selfish by worrying so much about happiness instead of just being ok with being alive and loved. *shrugs*