LOL, Terry Pratchett.
No idea how many people will actually find this funny. I did, though.
Three quotes from Terry Pratchett's Night Watch that amused me:
Vimes picked up a bottle of Mrs. Arbiter's best ginger beer. He remembered it. It was gassy as hell and therefore hugely popular. A young boy could, with encouragement and training, eventually manage to belch the whole first verse of the national anthem after just one swig. This is an important social skill when you're eight years old.
It was a beguiling theory that had arisen in the minds of Wiglet, and Waddy, and, yes, even in the not-overly-exercised mind of Fred Colon, and as far as Vimes could understand it, it went like this.
1. Supposing the area behind the barricades was bigger than the area in front of the barricades, right?
2. Like, sort of, it had more people in it and more of the city, if you follow me.
3. Then, correct me if I'm wrong, Sarge, but that'd mean in a manner of speaking we are now in front of the barricades, am I right?
4. Then, as it were, it's not like we're rebellin', is it? 'Cos there's more of us, so the majority can't rebel, it stands to reason.
5. So that makes us the good guys. Obviously we've been the good guys all along, but now it'd be sort of official, right? Like, mathematical?
6. So, we thought we'd push on down to Short Street and then we could nip into Dimwell and up the other side of the river...
7. Are we going to get into trouble for this, Sarge?
8. You're looking at me in a funny way, Sarge.
9. Sorry, Sarge.
Winder's mind felt fuzzier than it had done over the past few years, but he was certain about cake. He'd been eating cake, and now there wasn't any. Through the mists, he saw it, apparentlyy close, but, when he tried to reach it, a long way away.
A certain realisation dawned on him.
"Oh," he said.
YES, said Death.
"Not even time to finish my cake?"
NO. THERE IS NO MORE TIME, EVEN FOR CAKE. FOR YOU, THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE.
LOL.
Three quotes from Terry Pratchett's Night Watch that amused me:
Vimes picked up a bottle of Mrs. Arbiter's best ginger beer. He remembered it. It was gassy as hell and therefore hugely popular. A young boy could, with encouragement and training, eventually manage to belch the whole first verse of the national anthem after just one swig. This is an important social skill when you're eight years old.
It was a beguiling theory that had arisen in the minds of Wiglet, and Waddy, and, yes, even in the not-overly-exercised mind of Fred Colon, and as far as Vimes could understand it, it went like this.
1. Supposing the area behind the barricades was bigger than the area in front of the barricades, right?
2. Like, sort of, it had more people in it and more of the city, if you follow me.
3. Then, correct me if I'm wrong, Sarge, but that'd mean in a manner of speaking we are now in front of the barricades, am I right?
4. Then, as it were, it's not like we're rebellin', is it? 'Cos there's more of us, so the majority can't rebel, it stands to reason.
5. So that makes us the good guys. Obviously we've been the good guys all along, but now it'd be sort of official, right? Like, mathematical?
6. So, we thought we'd push on down to Short Street and then we could nip into Dimwell and up the other side of the river...
7. Are we going to get into trouble for this, Sarge?
8. You're looking at me in a funny way, Sarge.
9. Sorry, Sarge.
Winder's mind felt fuzzier than it had done over the past few years, but he was certain about cake. He'd been eating cake, and now there wasn't any. Through the mists, he saw it, apparentlyy close, but, when he tried to reach it, a long way away.
A certain realisation dawned on him.
"Oh," he said.
YES, said Death.
"Not even time to finish my cake?"
NO. THERE IS NO MORE TIME, EVEN FOR CAKE. FOR YOU, THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE.
LOL.