right now, is not the right time,,(.\\)
right now im staring blankly into space.. feeling left out.. feeling like the world has left me.. its all out of reach.. i cant explain how im feeling.. i know i feel something deep inside me but i cant put it into words... i tried putting it out,but it comes out wrong.. im in the depths of oblivion.. i cant find myself.. im so lost in this this space of void..(void na nga,lost pa nh? so,ganun ako kawala ngayon)=)) im really emo.. i dont know why.. suddenly i just felt like typing here and pouring my heart out.. i cant talk to anyone, cos i wouldnt know what id tell them.. sometimes i wonder, sino nlng ba talaga masasabihan ko? sino nlng ba talaga malalapitan ko? its kinda weird being so far from people you've gotten used to hang out with and talk to.. see,my friends are at la salle,csb mostly.. and i miss them so..
i cant put my best foot forward, and i dont know why.. i want you to be here and i want to be able to talk to you face to face.. and all i could do is look at you from afar acting like i dont see you but the reality is,you're the only one i see.. waah.. i kn. ow im crazy.. cause i know nothing's gonna happen.. damn that would be a miracle kung meron.. only a few people know about this... haay. i hope one day you'd be in front of me and you could tell me that you'd love me back..=)) ambilis nh? hikhikhik
i aspire for a lot of things.. i want to do this and that.. but i cant.. im not moving or going anywhere.. why??:-o im didnt use to be like this... i had energy, i had drive, and that was back in high school when i danced, i was varsity; when everything was going sooo well.. now.. i cant even step up and audition, or try-out "again" (people know this)! i cant,i just cant.. nawalan na siguro ako ng tiwala sa sarili ko.. tingin ko siguro sa sarili ko,sobrang iba na sa naunang ako... :-< di ko naman pinagdasal na magkaganito ako eh... sabi ko pa nga sa sarili ko na pagdating ng college,walang magbabago.. na ganito pa rin ako dapat, ung sumasayaw, naglalaro etc.. ay sus,alala ko pa before, kahit san magpunta,may kakilala ako.. may nakakakilala sa akin, laging may "hi" at "hello" from people sa school.. i miss that feeling.. i hate being a teensy weensy spider, este part pala, of a big big big world.. guess i just have to get used to it..
haay. whatever's happening to me, i know it wont be long till i get my old self back again.. it would just take time.. haay buhay.. :-< parang life... WHHUUT?=))