A small revelation
I hate being gay. For all the reasons that they are stereotyped for. Not that I believe that if I was straight things would be easier.... though they might be.
So today/yesterday/Wednesday was my friend Erin's 21st. So we went to a bar downtown called Shorty's. They didn't card, but I didn't drink. It was nice to see her, as I hadnt in over a month, and that was only for a few minutes. Prior to that, it'd been months. It was nice to see jeff as well. I also met some of her other friends, who i dont have all that terriffic oppinions of, but since I didnt drive, I wont complain. Erin had 7+ shots, and ended up in the bathroom at the bar for almost an hour. Meanwhile, this is a small bar, and there are 9 of us, and 3 other people in this place. It's a very small bar, smaller than a mcdonalds or something like that. And these other people, so fucking loud. Seriously, theres no need to be so loud, they were only talking to each other. But I guess thats the ignorance in people. We finally left a little after midnight, while she was puking her guts out, and her friend who's boyfriend drove wouldnt shut the hell up in the car. They had all started an anus game in the bar (replacing the word anus with the last word in a movie title). And she was only talking to herself, and being fucking loud while erin was sick. I had fun, until it just all sucked really really bad. I saw justin, who's 21, and is one of erins fags. He's engaged, to this 30-something guy who looks like a biker. Doesnt seem like a good match at all, and i think people were saying it was about money. I'm just lost i think. And unhappy. I really don't know what I'm doing in my life. Or with anything anymore. And I can't sleep. So yeah, I hate being gay. I hate guys, relationships, and anything to do with being gay. I really need to start going to a psychologist.
So today/yesterday/Wednesday was my friend Erin's 21st. So we went to a bar downtown called Shorty's. They didn't card, but I didn't drink. It was nice to see her, as I hadnt in over a month, and that was only for a few minutes. Prior to that, it'd been months. It was nice to see jeff as well. I also met some of her other friends, who i dont have all that terriffic oppinions of, but since I didnt drive, I wont complain. Erin had 7+ shots, and ended up in the bathroom at the bar for almost an hour. Meanwhile, this is a small bar, and there are 9 of us, and 3 other people in this place. It's a very small bar, smaller than a mcdonalds or something like that. And these other people, so fucking loud. Seriously, theres no need to be so loud, they were only talking to each other. But I guess thats the ignorance in people. We finally left a little after midnight, while she was puking her guts out, and her friend who's boyfriend drove wouldnt shut the hell up in the car. They had all started an anus game in the bar (replacing the word anus with the last word in a movie title). And she was only talking to herself, and being fucking loud while erin was sick. I had fun, until it just all sucked really really bad. I saw justin, who's 21, and is one of erins fags. He's engaged, to this 30-something guy who looks like a biker. Doesnt seem like a good match at all, and i think people were saying it was about money. I'm just lost i think. And unhappy. I really don't know what I'm doing in my life. Or with anything anymore. And I can't sleep. So yeah, I hate being gay. I hate guys, relationships, and anything to do with being gay. I really need to start going to a psychologist.