From the Minion
"So, 8 months and two 3 month long sinus infections later, what have we learned??
Prolonged antibiotics mess with Trish's mood. 3 doses of Augmentin make Trish manic, 3 days before she goes on vacation. Adam's done a lot of research and when I emailed him bitching about it he said he saw that antibiotics can mess with hormones. This explains why I can't stop eating and the 2 hour long crying jag because I didn't have enough energy to get off the floor the other night.
I've come to really appreciate the delicate balance that is my chemical system. And not appreciate in a "aww that's neat!" way, more in like a "don't run up to the tiger and hug it because it will maul you" kind of way. I'm really sick of it. It makes me feel less than human. I'm slowly learning to trust and open up to Adam about stuff related to my health stuff, but it's so fucking hard. For months I had to condition myself to not trust anyone, especially people who wanted romantic involvement. Have a promised marriage terminated because you have chronic, albeit well maintained, health issues will make ANYONE really paranoid. But, as time goes on I'm getting more comfortable with tearing down walls I worked so hard to put up. It's just difficult, having to consciously decondition myself. It's a process, as much as everything I went through this spring was a process. A process that began with "I've lost respect for you" from someone I didn't think had any respect for me in the first place.
I feel bad that I have to put him through that. Like he has to prove himself when he's not the one who ripped away my humanity in the first place. He's never had to prove himself to me. But, he's also always been a total saint and is handling this in the best way possible, just being patient with me. I've made a lot of progress in a short time, and I know soon it'll all be moot. I also know that after Wednesday everything is going to change like crazy. I've never felt so connected to anyone the way I always have with him, even before we started speaking. His posts on athf.com were always just so brilliant. Now I'm going to carry his babies in my lady vag and then birth them for the BBQ. Good times.
I just REALLY hope I'm better by Wednesday. I'm going to crazy sleep in tomorrow.
But, yeah, that's what's up with me as of late. A great relationship, not so great sinuses, and CATS CATS CATS!!!!!!!"
Yeah... and also... Update.
I'm going to see Adam for the first time EVAR on Wednesday, which is HIS HAPPY PRINCESS BIRTHDAY! I'm really glad we got our whole "I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU" confession out of the way in June. It'll make things less awkward for us in <3 days. I've never felt the way I feel for anyone remotely near the way I feel for Adam. I love having someone on the same vibrational level with me.
My flax is mellowing me out. I'm doing well aside from this god damned 3 month sinus infection.
Who reads this anyone?? NO1. LOLOLOLOL
Merry Adamakuh!!!!!!
Prolonged antibiotics mess with Trish's mood. 3 doses of Augmentin make Trish manic, 3 days before she goes on vacation. Adam's done a lot of research and when I emailed him bitching about it he said he saw that antibiotics can mess with hormones. This explains why I can't stop eating and the 2 hour long crying jag because I didn't have enough energy to get off the floor the other night.
I've come to really appreciate the delicate balance that is my chemical system. And not appreciate in a "aww that's neat!" way, more in like a "don't run up to the tiger and hug it because it will maul you" kind of way. I'm really sick of it. It makes me feel less than human. I'm slowly learning to trust and open up to Adam about stuff related to my health stuff, but it's so fucking hard. For months I had to condition myself to not trust anyone, especially people who wanted romantic involvement. Have a promised marriage terminated because you have chronic, albeit well maintained, health issues will make ANYONE really paranoid. But, as time goes on I'm getting more comfortable with tearing down walls I worked so hard to put up. It's just difficult, having to consciously decondition myself. It's a process, as much as everything I went through this spring was a process. A process that began with "I've lost respect for you" from someone I didn't think had any respect for me in the first place.
I feel bad that I have to put him through that. Like he has to prove himself when he's not the one who ripped away my humanity in the first place. He's never had to prove himself to me. But, he's also always been a total saint and is handling this in the best way possible, just being patient with me. I've made a lot of progress in a short time, and I know soon it'll all be moot. I also know that after Wednesday everything is going to change like crazy. I've never felt so connected to anyone the way I always have with him, even before we started speaking. His posts on athf.com were always just so brilliant. Now I'm going to carry his babies in my lady vag and then birth them for the BBQ. Good times.
I just REALLY hope I'm better by Wednesday. I'm going to crazy sleep in tomorrow.
But, yeah, that's what's up with me as of late. A great relationship, not so great sinuses, and CATS CATS CATS!!!!!!!"
Yeah... and also... Update.
I'm going to see Adam for the first time EVAR on Wednesday, which is HIS HAPPY PRINCESS BIRTHDAY! I'm really glad we got our whole "I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU" confession out of the way in June. It'll make things less awkward for us in <3 days. I've never felt the way I feel for anyone remotely near the way I feel for Adam. I love having someone on the same vibrational level with me.
My flax is mellowing me out. I'm doing well aside from this god damned 3 month sinus infection.
Who reads this anyone?? NO1. LOLOLOLOL
Merry Adamakuh!!!!!!