[GRADIUS V IS BETTER THAN SEX]
My day kicked fucking ass. It started off kinda badly, with me feeling sick to my stomach, but it got better and better with everything I did. I got some sprites done, did a 3d model, blah blah blah, whatever. Now on to the meat and potat0rz-- I went to gamestop after missing a call from them to my damned fax machine. I went to go pick up Nanostray, but it wasn't there, or even at any other gamestop. Shit. I was pissed, but I'm awesome, so I just looked around the store for a bit and I saw it. THE ONE AND ONLY GRADIUS V. Yes, the really goddamn rare gradius V, sitting there on a shelf, minding its own business. I swiftly snatched the game and instructed the clerk to hold on to it for me. He agreed, noting that it was the only copy of the game in the store. Just then, some crazy bastard with a box fulla Genesises walks in and hands em over to the clerk. They chat for a bit, and the man leaves, leaving his precious cargo to sit and collect dust. The clerk opened the box and placed 8 genesis systems- all three variants of the console, sitting right there. He decides to start giving them away, so he hooks this brother up with a Genesis (First version... the one that says 16 bit) for all of my trouble with nanostray. We talked some more, and I left. My mom later purchased a used PS2 and Gradius V for me, and I can honestly say that this game is better than any sex I've ever had. That probably isn't saying much when you take a long look at my sex life, but Gradius FUCKING V is the best goddamn thing I've played on a goddamn playstation. Now there's a reason for me to actually own the thing. PLUS, Raiden III is coming soon, too... September in Japan. I might have to import that bitch on over here... not like there's any text for me to read or something. Even if there is, I don't give two red shits.
Anyway, back to Gradius V... The game is fucking hardcore. Its got 2 Player CoOp, high scores, and all that arcadey goodness that I wish I grew up on... Makes me wanna cry. I got to maybe the third stage before I got my shit ruined for sure, and my only gripe is that they call "Options" by the name of "Multiples" in this game. This isn't fucking Life Force, this is Gradius. I'm in the Vic Viper, not the Lord British. Get it right you bastards! ...Yeah, I miss hearing the guy say "Option!"
Everyone I know should play this game with me. If you survive the levels with me, I will take part in the conception of your offspring. If you can't, don't worry about it, you can still watch. Fuck. Why am I writing this tripe when I could be playing Gradius V?
*runs away*
Anyway, back to Gradius V... The game is fucking hardcore. Its got 2 Player CoOp, high scores, and all that arcadey goodness that I wish I grew up on... Makes me wanna cry. I got to maybe the third stage before I got my shit ruined for sure, and my only gripe is that they call "Options" by the name of "Multiples" in this game. This isn't fucking Life Force, this is Gradius. I'm in the Vic Viper, not the Lord British. Get it right you bastards! ...Yeah, I miss hearing the guy say "Option!"
Everyone I know should play this game with me. If you survive the levels with me, I will take part in the conception of your offspring. If you can't, don't worry about it, you can still watch. Fuck. Why am I writing this tripe when I could be playing Gradius V?
*runs away*