[Lament of Innocence]
I had a day-before-my-birthday get together with Sam at the mall the day before yesterday. It was AMAZING. I never thought I'd have so much fun at such a boring place doing virtually nothing! There was all sorts of fun to be had, and it all started with one brownie... the size of my goddamn head. (Geez, Sam, I didn't think you were being literal when you said that!) Ok, 1 and a half... I couldn't finish mine, but Sam got hers done. It turned out to be a good thing that I didn't eat all of that there brownie... Sam says she didn't put anything funny in the brownies, but the way we were acting some time into the day makes a skeptic of me. Sam laughed a lot about nothing, and we laughed at the Burlington coat factory for being open during the summer. We saw Frank's brother, a Dreamcast AND a Megadrive Tower (What they called a Genesis, 32X and Sega CD attached to one another in that one flash movie) in the same place. It was glorious. Later, Sam took me to the Geeetar place and we looked at various guitars and basses and crap, and then we went outside. Or something like that, I don't remember a lot of what happened. What I do remember is being tied up in caution tape somehow. Nothing is better than being tied up with caution tape in next to the yellow section of the mall... nobody ever goes there! Why the crap is it always so abandoned there? WHY IS THE BURLINGTON COAT FACTORY OPEN DURING THE SUMMER? And better yet, what the crap is it doing in PHILADELPHIA? I don't see any Welcome-to-Burlington signs anywhere! Did I mention there was caution tape? I want caution tape now. Where the hell did we end up getting caution tape?
In any case, I had an awesome time at the mall of all places on the last day of my childhood. I'm happy I was in the company of someone cool and not Jameka or the police... I'm having trouble remembering some of the details of the super fun time day, but the bulk of it remains intact in my mind. Sam, we should hang out more often. Also, where the hell did the caution tape come from? I can't remember, and it's starting to worry me. A weird thing I do remember is that we wore the same shirt-- I wore a white tank top type o' thing (whatever they call those damn things) and Sam wore a black one. Fancy. I also kind of remember being pissed off at a door or something... I punched a vending machine, and learned of the chemicals in Dasani. Water shouldn't need nutrition facts.
Yesterday, I forgot it was my birthday. I honestly did. I was up all night again, and took the day as if it were any old day and kept on being awesome or whatever it is I do in the morning time, and my mom rushed in the room going all crazy and shit. "My baby's 18! I can't believe it!" Yessiree bob, I am 18 now. I am at the peak of my sexual virility, effective since midnight of last night. Fantastic. IM FUCKING LEGAL NOW! I'm even kind of happy about it, too, even though I've dreaded being 18 since I was 6. I'm a man now, or at least a reasonable facsimilie. That sentance had way too many commas in it. I'm all hyper now because some dolt gave me more chocolate after painfully recovering from Sam's megabrownies... I love you mom.
In any case, I had an awesome time at the mall of all places on the last day of my childhood. I'm happy I was in the company of someone cool and not Jameka or the police... I'm having trouble remembering some of the details of the super fun time day, but the bulk of it remains intact in my mind. Sam, we should hang out more often. Also, where the hell did the caution tape come from? I can't remember, and it's starting to worry me. A weird thing I do remember is that we wore the same shirt-- I wore a white tank top type o' thing (whatever they call those damn things) and Sam wore a black one. Fancy. I also kind of remember being pissed off at a door or something... I punched a vending machine, and learned of the chemicals in Dasani. Water shouldn't need nutrition facts.
Yesterday, I forgot it was my birthday. I honestly did. I was up all night again, and took the day as if it were any old day and kept on being awesome or whatever it is I do in the morning time, and my mom rushed in the room going all crazy and shit. "My baby's 18! I can't believe it!" Yessiree bob, I am 18 now. I am at the peak of my sexual virility, effective since midnight of last night. Fantastic. IM FUCKING LEGAL NOW! I'm even kind of happy about it, too, even though I've dreaded being 18 since I was 6. I'm a man now, or at least a reasonable facsimilie. That sentance had way too many commas in it. I'm all hyper now because some dolt gave me more chocolate after painfully recovering from Sam's megabrownies... I love you mom.