no worries, don't got no satan babies brewin'.
I surround myself with artifacts from a stronger time, hoping to feel more of that ball of dense fury that used to be my strength. I wait for it to solidify before rolling out of bed for fear of losing my will. My life is an exercise in self control and I am too aware of his feelings. I watch him walk away for a second time whispering after him: "I want you, but I might break you". I recieve a call from a woman who knows my insides better than I do, telling me about my traitorous body and its refusal to be still. I call him, holding my breath and wishing.