Hopes
Because everyone else is leaving for college, I am inspired to write my own feelings/anxieties about college in order to humor myself! I have learned that if I feel it now, I should write it now, because if I feel it now, and I try to write it later, I won't feel it anymore. So there!
I, like every other rising college freshman, am very nervous about going to college. I hate being the youngest. I hated beting a freshman in high school because I don't like knowing that there are people older than me, even though this is a fact of life. I don't mind working from the bottom, I just hate being at the bottom and knowing it. There's an inferiority that comes along with being a freshman, and I hope that I can accept it, but not take it personally and let it become a complex. I hope being a freshman again brings me back down to earth and teaches me humility.
Depression has always been part of my life, whether my own or someone else's. Now, I am almost thankful because my lows at college won't be my lowest lows. I expect to be a little depressed, in fact, I am ready. I hope, however, that it doesn't become chronic because I don't want to hate Evanston or Northwestern or wildcats because I've wanted to go here for a long, long time. Disillusioned dreams are more upsetting than unaccomplished ones. I hope that I can remember that depression is natural so I can get up and move on from it. I hope I grow to love Northwestern and everything about it.
I hope people don't think I'm weird for bringing a stuffed animal.
However, in regards to everything else, I hope I don't give a poop about what other people think anymore. Except for like, that one thing.
I hope I am very healthy. I blame Stride Rite for 2008's incessant ailments, and thankfully, I won't be working there anymore. However, whenever I did get sick, I could always go to the doctor and get antibiotics immediately. I don't know how easy this will be in college. Also, Zeny would always take care of me. I hope I don't get sick enough where I can't go to class or do my schoolwork because I don't even know if people will be nice enough to tell me what I missed.
I HOPE I DON'T GAIN WEIGHT!!!!!! I will work out everyday if I have to. (Except if that means getting sick from overworking out.)I refuse, refuse, refuse to gain beerweight or buffetstyledininghallweight. BE GONE!
I hope I make lots of good, real friends. I hope they're not the kind of "friends" who only talk about themselves and turn on the autopilot whenever I have something to say. I hope they're not the kind of friends who would take that stuff from me. I hope they care about me lots, and that I care about them lots.
I hope I can shrug off Senioritis and enjoy studying and schoolwork. At heart, I am a big nerd.
I hope I get homesick, but only enough to make me really appreciate what I have here. Enough that I will be tremendously happy whenever I am home and get along really well with everyone whom I love. I hope I don't get so homesick that I cry and become miserable, and stuff. Not so much that I dread going back to school. I want to love love school.
I hope the awkward orientation period is more fun than awkward, but just enough awkward that it's fun. I HATE ICE BREAKERS!!
I hope I stay true to myself. What I've learned from these 2039482098x camps is that the hardest part about transitioning is a) remembering who you are and b) not getting intimidated. You can't get intimidated if you remember who you are. I hope I am always sincere and honest with the people around me, but more importantly, with myself.
I hope people on the team and in the NJFL still remember me!
I hope I want to call my family at least once a week, if not more. I know I have to. But I hope I want to. I hope I genuinely want to talk to them a lot. I hope I always have new things to tell them. Also, I hope all will always be well with them. I hope they are forever healthy. If they have problems, I hope they solve them only in the most constructive of ways.
I hope I don't get addicted to weird, bad things, like hard drugs and video games.
I hope I can always be the bigger person, but that I don't lose any of the Jersey flair.
I also hope being the bigger person doesn't mean being less sassy. On that note, I hope I don't let people walk all over me. One of the best things my dad ever said was, "Never mistake kindness for weakness."
I hope I don't fly off the handle too much. Once in a while, it is refreshing. I sometimes feel most alive when I am angry; some of my best work comes from when I am angry. But I acknowledge that it's not a healthy lifestyle, and can lead to me acting violently. In the same vein, I hope I don't revert to my old, bad moods. As annoying as people may/may not get, I hope I can do my best to understand them because there will come a time when I will be the annoying one, and they will have to understand. I hope they can understand.
I hope I get along with my roommate as well as roommates should...
More than anything, I hope I am aware. This means a lot of things. I hope I master time management, I hope I respect my limits, as well as the limits of others. I hope I am aware of other people's feelings so I never hurt them unintentionally, especially if they don't deserve it. On that note, I hope I'll always treat people the way I want to be treated. I hope I can be patient and empathetic with everyone, not just my friends. I hope I don't come off as cynical, or that I ever become cynical.
I hope that whatever happens between us that I'll always love Josh. I hated hating him because I never stopped loving him. I hope I'll always want the best for him, even if that means I'm not in the picture, even if I want to be in the picture right now. I hope I can grow up enough to eventually believe and feel what I just wrote a second ago. I hope he doesn't hurt me again because that really, really hurt last time. I hope I never have to hurt him. I hope I can be really happy whenever I think of us, regardless of what happens between us.
I hope I don't make the same mistakes I made in high school. This is my chance to change the things I don't like about myself while I still can! I hope I have the courage to make these changes. I hope I am always honest, especially with the people who deserve the truth. I hope I can finally put an end to my passive-aggressive behavior and be assertive when I need to be.
If I hit rock bottom, I hope there is bounce, and a lot of it.
I hope I learn tact. I hope I know when to break down the brick walls when I really burn for something/someone. I hope I know when to quit and walk away, too.
I think it was my mom who told me that life is conducive to changes, so be ready for them. It wouldn't be life if everything always stayed the same because nothing will ever stay the same.
As for my friends from home (god, I can't stand writing that), I am confident all over. I have very little doubts and very little worries. You think you know who they are after senior year, but I think you really, really know after the summer after your senior year. They have given me everything and more. The only crime they have committed is that they have spoiled me with their love, and now I won't ever find friends like them again because my standard is too high. We will stay in touch because you stay in touch with the people you WANT to keep in touch with. And I do! Separation truly makes the heart grow fonder. Already, I can't wait for Thanksgiving. I will love them forever, and nothing can ever change that.
I hope I can always have a sense of humor. I hope I can always laugh and I hope I can make others laugh. I hope I never take myself too seriously.
And I hope I become a better person in more ways than one. Duh.
I, like every other rising college freshman, am very nervous about going to college. I hate being the youngest. I hated beting a freshman in high school because I don't like knowing that there are people older than me, even though this is a fact of life. I don't mind working from the bottom, I just hate being at the bottom and knowing it. There's an inferiority that comes along with being a freshman, and I hope that I can accept it, but not take it personally and let it become a complex. I hope being a freshman again brings me back down to earth and teaches me humility.
Depression has always been part of my life, whether my own or someone else's. Now, I am almost thankful because my lows at college won't be my lowest lows. I expect to be a little depressed, in fact, I am ready. I hope, however, that it doesn't become chronic because I don't want to hate Evanston or Northwestern or wildcats because I've wanted to go here for a long, long time. Disillusioned dreams are more upsetting than unaccomplished ones. I hope that I can remember that depression is natural so I can get up and move on from it. I hope I grow to love Northwestern and everything about it.
I hope people don't think I'm weird for bringing a stuffed animal.
However, in regards to everything else, I hope I don't give a poop about what other people think anymore. Except for like, that one thing.
I hope I am very healthy. I blame Stride Rite for 2008's incessant ailments, and thankfully, I won't be working there anymore. However, whenever I did get sick, I could always go to the doctor and get antibiotics immediately. I don't know how easy this will be in college. Also, Zeny would always take care of me. I hope I don't get sick enough where I can't go to class or do my schoolwork because I don't even know if people will be nice enough to tell me what I missed.
I HOPE I DON'T GAIN WEIGHT!!!!!! I will work out everyday if I have to. (Except if that means getting sick from overworking out.)I refuse, refuse, refuse to gain beerweight or buffetstyledininghallweight. BE GONE!
I hope I make lots of good, real friends. I hope they're not the kind of "friends" who only talk about themselves and turn on the autopilot whenever I have something to say. I hope they're not the kind of friends who would take that stuff from me. I hope they care about me lots, and that I care about them lots.
I hope I can shrug off Senioritis and enjoy studying and schoolwork. At heart, I am a big nerd.
I hope I get homesick, but only enough to make me really appreciate what I have here. Enough that I will be tremendously happy whenever I am home and get along really well with everyone whom I love. I hope I don't get so homesick that I cry and become miserable, and stuff. Not so much that I dread going back to school. I want to love love school.
I hope the awkward orientation period is more fun than awkward, but just enough awkward that it's fun. I HATE ICE BREAKERS!!
I hope I stay true to myself. What I've learned from these 2039482098x camps is that the hardest part about transitioning is a) remembering who you are and b) not getting intimidated. You can't get intimidated if you remember who you are. I hope I am always sincere and honest with the people around me, but more importantly, with myself.
I hope people on the team and in the NJFL still remember me!
I hope I want to call my family at least once a week, if not more. I know I have to. But I hope I want to. I hope I genuinely want to talk to them a lot. I hope I always have new things to tell them. Also, I hope all will always be well with them. I hope they are forever healthy. If they have problems, I hope they solve them only in the most constructive of ways.
I hope I don't get addicted to weird, bad things, like hard drugs and video games.
I hope I can always be the bigger person, but that I don't lose any of the Jersey flair.
I also hope being the bigger person doesn't mean being less sassy. On that note, I hope I don't let people walk all over me. One of the best things my dad ever said was, "Never mistake kindness for weakness."
I hope I don't fly off the handle too much. Once in a while, it is refreshing. I sometimes feel most alive when I am angry; some of my best work comes from when I am angry. But I acknowledge that it's not a healthy lifestyle, and can lead to me acting violently. In the same vein, I hope I don't revert to my old, bad moods. As annoying as people may/may not get, I hope I can do my best to understand them because there will come a time when I will be the annoying one, and they will have to understand. I hope they can understand.
I hope I get along with my roommate as well as roommates should...
More than anything, I hope I am aware. This means a lot of things. I hope I master time management, I hope I respect my limits, as well as the limits of others. I hope I am aware of other people's feelings so I never hurt them unintentionally, especially if they don't deserve it. On that note, I hope I'll always treat people the way I want to be treated. I hope I can be patient and empathetic with everyone, not just my friends. I hope I don't come off as cynical, or that I ever become cynical.
I hope that whatever happens between us that I'll always love Josh. I hated hating him because I never stopped loving him. I hope I'll always want the best for him, even if that means I'm not in the picture, even if I want to be in the picture right now. I hope I can grow up enough to eventually believe and feel what I just wrote a second ago. I hope he doesn't hurt me again because that really, really hurt last time. I hope I never have to hurt him. I hope I can be really happy whenever I think of us, regardless of what happens between us.
I hope I don't make the same mistakes I made in high school. This is my chance to change the things I don't like about myself while I still can! I hope I have the courage to make these changes. I hope I am always honest, especially with the people who deserve the truth. I hope I can finally put an end to my passive-aggressive behavior and be assertive when I need to be.
If I hit rock bottom, I hope there is bounce, and a lot of it.
I hope I learn tact. I hope I know when to break down the brick walls when I really burn for something/someone. I hope I know when to quit and walk away, too.
I think it was my mom who told me that life is conducive to changes, so be ready for them. It wouldn't be life if everything always stayed the same because nothing will ever stay the same.
As for my friends from home (god, I can't stand writing that), I am confident all over. I have very little doubts and very little worries. You think you know who they are after senior year, but I think you really, really know after the summer after your senior year. They have given me everything and more. The only crime they have committed is that they have spoiled me with their love, and now I won't ever find friends like them again because my standard is too high. We will stay in touch because you stay in touch with the people you WANT to keep in touch with. And I do! Separation truly makes the heart grow fonder. Already, I can't wait for Thanksgiving. I will love them forever, and nothing can ever change that.
I hope I can always have a sense of humor. I hope I can always laugh and I hope I can make others laugh. I hope I never take myself too seriously.
And I hope I become a better person in more ways than one. Duh.