I really really enjoyed this fic. Jeff was amazingly real and sexy (and he was the perfect combination of "tv character" Jeff and the fantasy Jeff I think most of us want to see - without, as other reviewers stated here, the expectation of sex...leaving that out of the equation made this fic surprising in a great way).
Favorite things: a Princess Bride reference (hell yeah!), Annie kissing Jeff's pillow (funny and kind of hot), and the line "I want to kiss you again..." (classic).
Now my not so favorite things - sorry:( : the beginning of the story seemed a bit off grammar and tense wise (now I only read it once so perhaps I am mistaken, but it seemed like you were skipping between past and present tense and it took me out of the story a bit) - also I was not a fan of the whole float angle at first (once you explained Annie's neurosis about it in depth later I totally go it and it made the float and its destruction all the more important, but at first coupled with the tense issues I was having a hard time getting into the flow of the story or caring about the plot point at hand). I mean, it was only those first few paragraphs and I totally wanted to know more about Jeff and Annie so I stuck with it, but I just thought I'd let you know.
However, with all that said I think this is my fave fic of yours (out of the 2 that I've read - LOL) because I completely loved Annie here. She dominated the story in the best way possible and even in the midst of her crying and sulking she was strong and mature - and the perfect foil and complement to your Jeff.
Thanks for the feedback! I will keep those points in mind next time. The beginning of the fic was rearranged a couple of times (the entire fic went from present tense to past, too, so I'll skim through and fix those verbs I missed fixing), and I'll try to jump right into the action earlier.
Favorite things: a Princess Bride reference (hell yeah!), Annie kissing Jeff's pillow (funny and kind of hot), and the line "I want to kiss you again..." (classic).
Now my not so favorite things - sorry:( : the beginning of the story seemed a bit off grammar and tense wise (now I only read it once so perhaps I am mistaken, but it seemed like you were skipping between past and present tense and it took me out of the story a bit) - also I was not a fan of the whole float angle at first (once you explained Annie's neurosis about it in depth later I totally go it and it made the float and its destruction all the more important, but at first coupled with the tense issues I was having a hard time getting into the flow of the story or caring about the plot point at hand). I mean, it was only those first few paragraphs and I totally wanted to know more about Jeff and Annie so I stuck with it, but I just thought I'd let you know.
However, with all that said I think this is my fave fic of yours (out of the 2 that I've read - LOL) because I completely loved Annie here. She dominated the story in the best way possible and even in the midst of her crying and sulking she was strong and mature - and the perfect foil and complement to your Jeff.
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