Count To Three
Count To Three
Sulli-centric
Angst | 1105 words
-- This is a late birthday gift for iruka92. It's somewhat different from what you requested for, but I hope you'll still like it.
Falling for Choi Minho is easy, Jinri thinks.
She also thinks that it is unfair how easily he breezes into her life, shattering all those walls she built around her with a simple “hi” and his flamboyant smile, complete with those twinkles in his big round eyes that cause her heart to race. Still, she never complains. Rather, she welcomes his presence in her life with widespread arms and a shy smile in return, even though most of the time, she only receives his hellos when Soojung is by her side besides the fleeting nods of acknowledgement when he passes her by in the hallways.
She never complains, because she thinks at the very least he does know that she exists somewhere in his universe, though she’s not sure if he actually knows her name.
“Jinri, right?”
His voice is melodious and gentle and somewhat delicate, and when she looks up to meet his glistening eyes which remind her of the golden rays of sun that carry along warmth to the earth during summer, there is a matching grin plastered across his face. She smiles in response, and mirroring his tone, she asks back, “Taemin, right?”
He plops down beside her and wipes the sweat on his forehead using the towel slung on his neck. His loose t-shirt, she notices, is sticking on his body. She offers him her untouched water bottle and he accepts it gladly. “You’re not supposed to return a question with another question, Jinri-ssi.”
“Pardon my lack of manners, Taemin-ssi.”
He gazes at her for a moment, and says nothing. No further words are exchanged afterwards, and neither of them is bothered by the growing silence between them.
Lee Taemin is not stupid. Lee Taemin is attentive and observant, and unlike the oblivious Choi Minho whose sight is set on someone else, Lee Taemin can see Jinri’s heart which she wears on her sleeve, though most of the time she’s careful not to let it be that obvious.
And so, one particular afternoon when the sun is blazing in the fine blue sky and the heat is almost unbearable, she finds themselves sharing the shade of an old persimmon tree not far from the company, Taemin lying down with his hands behind his head as a pillow, and Jinri next to him resting her back against the trunk.
“I know,” he says simply, and she doesn’t ask.
She doesn’t have to, because just like him, she, too, can see his heart he wears on his sleeve. So she leans her head back, closes her eyes and tells him that it’s okay, that she, too, knows.
Summer breeze blows, caressing their cheeks, stroking their hair, warming up their cold lonely hearts.
“What do you see in Minho?”
“What do you see in Soojung?”
“You’re not supposed to return a question with another question, Jinri-ssi.”
“You know me better than anyone else, Taemin-ssi.”
Somehow, funnily, they find comfort in each other. They eat together, laugh together, cry together, and make fun of each other afterwards. Occasionally he would teach her some dance moves he just picked up, and she would prepare an extra packed lunch box for him. Somewhere along the lines, Taemin and Jinri become a “they”, and one is not mentioned without the other.
Neither of them is bothered by that little statement, though there are days when she wonders if he would ever cross the invisible line. Not that she hopes for it, but sometimes when she sees Minho’s entwined fingers, she wishes that there is someone to hold her hand and sing her to sleep.
Jinri learns later that she shouldn’t grow accustomed to things. Although Taemin has been the one who catches her when she falls, she realizes that he wouldn’t be around to help her forever.
It is somewhere near the end of autumn, when colours of the leaves have transformed and most of them have fallen to the earth, lying helplessly on the hard ground and no longer beautiful, that she hears about Minho and Soojung’s breakup. Unlike her who receives the news with a mere “oh”, however, Taemin goes all the way to finding out the reason and punching Minho on the face for making his beautiful Soojung cry.
She realizes then, as she watches the final leaf of the persimmon tree flutters down quietly, that Taemin is not, and will never be her knight in shining armor. Although he has been the one who wiped her tears away, she realizes that he won’t be around for her forever.
Now that she no longer has him by her side, Jinri learns to stand on her own feet and heal her own wounds and perhaps turn her muffled sobs into her own unlikely lullaby.
“I guess you’ve got your wish now, Taemin-ssi.”
“When’s your turn, Jinri-ssi?”
There is a promise of a happy end for Jinri, a glimpse of rainbow after a heavy downpour, when she hears Minho says her name, addressing her properly as she is instead of a friend of Soojung’s. In her mind she’s smoothing his hair back so that she can take a good look on his handsome face while he slips hers behind her ear, and when their skins brush against each other’s they both experience some sort of electricity jolting down to their spine. In reality she’s just helping him to apply some medicine on his bruises and he’s not even meeting her eyes.
But “Sulli” is all he says after a long heavy sigh, and as much as it makes her happy, it sounds entirely wrong. Flowers wilt before they could even bloom, the rainbow in her head quickly vanishes, and so do the butterflies in her stomach.
When a certain Kim Jongin appears and tells her that he sort of likes her, she allows him in despite seeing the ghost of Taemin in his appearance and traces of Minho in his deep voice. Somehow the circle begins again where he lets her watch the routines he just choreographed while she knits him a scarf to prepare for winter and he makes fun of her prominent gums while she makes fun of his tanned skin.
Jongin knows about her broken heart and he helps her piece them back together again. Occasionally he finds her crying alone under the old persimmon tree but never he abandons her.
And so, one particular evening when the snow is falling, covering the town in white, Jinri interlocks her fingers between his, feels the warmness of his hands heating up her body and lets his kisses to fill the hollow gap in her heart.