paper birds
paper birds
siblings Nayeon/Jaebum, Nayeon/Seungcheol, Jaebum/Hyejeong
8818 w, g
a/n: this is one of my old wips that i started around the same time as light years i think? what initially inspired this was a reply 1994: reimagined fic i stumbled upon a long time ago (never actually finished it), but most of all i just wanted to write a feel good siblings fic for myself lol. i listened to this song a lot while writing the latter half of this. many thanks to sapphy who cheered me on! also if you prefer ao3.
It has been a busy afternoon, and being left alone to work behind the counter, Nayeon struggles to juggle between taking and making orders while making sure that the smile on her customers’ faces haven’t turned into a scowl as they wait. Sungjae and Hyojung are supposed to be working this shift with her, but Hyojung is down with fever while the latter went for “a short break” half an hour ago but never came back. Nayeon curses under her breath as she rinses one of the blenders she just used because this is not his first time (not even the second time) and swears she will not let him bribe her out of telling on him to their manager this time around.
Leaning against the countertop, she’s just about to take a breather when she senses someone approaching out of the corners of her eyes, so she tries not to sigh and immediately plasters her practiced friendly smile back on as she turns around. “Welcome t-” she stops halfway when she sees who it is.
“One decaf caramel latte, extra caramel sauce and lots of whipping cream please.”
“Are you for real?” she asks, glaring.
“Is this how you treat your customers? Let me talk to your manager.”
“Seriously! Stop disturbing me and please go away.”
Jaebum grins at his sister who is rolling her eyes at him as she adjusts her apron. “I’ll be glad to, but you explain to mum later why you’re coming home alone and not with me,” he says, his grin not faltering even when she shoots him another glare. “Why are you alone, anyway?”
Nayeon shrugs. “The person who’s supposed to be on duty today called in sick. And Sungjae’s slacking off.”
“And let you handle all those rude customers on your own? That jerk. Should I go give him a piece of my mind later?”
“By mind you mean your fist. Please, don’t do unnecessary things. I’m going to rat him out anyway.”
“Attagirl.”
“Besides the only rude customer I’ve had today is you, except you’re not even a customer.”
“I spoke too soon,” he adds while his sister sticks her tongue out before flashing a victorious grin, revealing her bunny teeth. He gives her a pointed look, and gestures at a certain direction with his chin. “I’ll wait over there, okay.”
“‘kay,” she nods.
Two more customers come in while he waits, and it’s only when Nayeon finishes making their orders that Sungjae shows up a little too happily which only adds up to her annoyance. She’s considering throwing her apron at him when someone else enters the cafe, but realizing it’s just Wonpil, another part-timer who’s here for his shift, she proceeds.
Seeing the two, Wonpil chuckles as he joins her behind the counter. “Was he slacking off again?” he asks. He’s a university student working part-time to pay for his tuition fees, and a total opposite of Sungjae. He’s never late for his shifts, will always call if something comes up urgently, only speaks when necessary and smiles most of the times. Their manager said it’s also a good selling point to attract customers aside from his face.
“What do you think?” she huffs while the other boy tries to protest. It gets ignored as she grabs her apron back and starts folding it. “I’m leaving.”
“Already?” the two boys ask almost in unison.
“I’m already working past my shift, thanks to someone. Besides,” Nayeon tilts her head towards Jaebum’s direction, and Wonpil understands. “Work hard,” she says, smiling extra sweetly at Sungjae, who returns the gesture, while Wonpil just laughs again before disappearing to the staff room to change into his uniform.
She comes out again soon and makes her way to where her brother is at. “Let’s go,” she says when he looks up.
Jaebum parked the car not far from the café. Nayeon changes the radio channel and blasts the speaker as soon as he starts the car, and consequently gets slapped on the hand.
“What, your music is boring,” she protests, scowling.
“Don’t abuse my car like that,” he responds, putting the gear in reverse then skillfully swerves out of the parking space. She retorts by pointing out although their father did mention about letting Jaebum use the car once he graduates, it's not his just yet. He pretends not to hear. “How was school?” asks him after a while.
“You sound like mum,” she deadpans, so he reaches out to flick her on the forehead without taking his eyes off the road. She hits him back on the arm. “School is school. What do you expect?”
That question makes him chuckle, eyes crinkling into happy crescent shapes. “In that case how's your vita going? Are you collecting enough specs to meet SNU’s requirements?”
“I don’t know. I’m not applying to SNU anyways so that doesn't matter,” she replies flatly.
“Why not?”
“Because I don't want to go there.”
“That's nonsense. Everyone wants to go to SNU.”
Everyone except me, Nayeon mentally responds. Saying it out loud would only lead to an argument, and she's too worn out from work today for that. Besides, it's not the first time she's voiced out her intention of not applying for SNU. Her brother wasn't that ecstatic to hear it, and seems like he still thinks she's not making a wise decision.
“You’re good enough for SNU, so why would you want to pass it up? I mean, have you seen the campus? You need to see it for yourself,” he goes on talking about the place he worships so much, while she fixes her gaze outside, only half listening.
The thing is, Jaebum doesn't even go to SNU. He missed the mark and only managed to get into his second choice university, Yonsei, which really isn't that bad at all. Lots of other people would kill to have his place.
“What's wrong with Yonsei? What's so wrong with other universities?” she asks, staring at the ceiling of her bedroom with her phone pressed to her ear. Back then, she had wanted to get it papered so she can pretend to be gazing at the sky whenever she’s laying in bed, but her parents thought that would make the room seem dark, so she had to settle with the plain white.
“Nothing’s wrong with any of them,” says Seungcheol. “It's just that he probably wants the best for you.”
Nayeon turns to her side and sighs. She can hear hip hop music from the background, and assumes he's sitting at his desk studying. Loud music helps him focus, apparently, and mostly keeps him awake. Even if they're at the library, he would have his earphones with him. “How would he know which one is the best for me?”
“Honestly, nobody does,” he replies with a smaller voice. The music disappears suddenly, which makes her wonder if he turned it off or lowered the volume. “But I don't think he would want you to choose something that ranks second, at least to him, when he knows you're good enough for the first place?”
“What you said makes sense and I hate that,” she mumbles, then hears his chuckle at the other end of the line. It sounds close, as though they're not in two separate rooms blocks away from each other.
“I take that as a compliment,” he returns. “Is he on a break?”
“Nah, he's just back for the weekend,” she answers. “I wish he would go back sooner, though. He spends the entire time home talking about SNU.”
Seungcheol continues to fill the silence of the night with his laugh, and she feels like she can see his crinkled eyes if she just closed her eyes. “I’d feel sad to hear that if I was him,” he says.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” she asks, changing the subject.
“Tomorrow?” It’s silent for a moment as he gives it a thought. “Maybe I’ll go run at the park in the morning. Don’t have anything planned after that, though. Why?”
“Can I come along?”
“Sure. I’ll swing by your house at 7?”
Her eyes flickers at the clock mounted on the wall above the door. “Can we make that 8?”
“I knew you'd say that,” he chuckles, then firmly adds: “7.”
“Relentless,” she replies, groaning. The clock continues to tick away, and she hears the sound of television coming from the living room. They hang up after confirming the plan and exchanging good nights, and then Nayeon gets up and goes to sit at her desk, scattered with so many university pamphlets. She gathers them all into a stack, sets them aside, and takes out her English workbook and the dictionary that once belonged to Jaebum.
A lot of things that she owns now used to be Jaebum's. Growing up with an older sibling has made her life a breeze, pretty much, since he's laid down the foundation and opened all the doors for her, and she only needs to walk. It's easy to follow his steps.
This time, however, she's unsure if she should keep tailing behind him or forge on a whole new path for herself, for the first time. Maybe he does know better. She wishes she knows best.
“Let's go one more round,” Seungcheol suggests, which puzzles Nayeon because she doesn't know whether she should be amazed or horrified at his stamina. They've already circled the park three times, and he's been maintaining the pace since they departed from her house.
“No, let’s stop here. I’m exhausted,” she whines. Making a sad face doesn't work on Seungcheol normally, but she tries anyway just in case.
He stops on his track and gives her a pointed look. “You’re on bike, and I’m the one running,” he refutes, as expected. “Shouldn't I be more tired than you?”
“If you didn't have the stamina of, I don't know, a horse? Then probably?”
“Im Nayeon, you little…” Without finishing his sentence, he places a finger on the area in between her brows and pushes. “Two more rounds.”
She narrows her eyes and scowls. “I’m going home.”
He's laughing as he follows her to the nearest bench. They've known each other well enough to know their quirks, like how she is always just harmless threats and he would always let her have her way in the end, so neither of them say a word about it while they sit together. She hands him the extra bottle of water she brought with her, since he never brings one.
“Tell me honestly, you came today just to get away from home, right?” asks him after taking a large swig, half emptying the bottle.
“I’m here to get some fresh air while doing my regular exercise. I can't believe you would doubt my good intentions, Choi Seungcheol,” she replies, feigning a betrayed look.
He snorts. “Do you really think I would buy that?”
“Doesn't hurt to try,” she answers with a grin, bunny teeth peeking out. “How's your brother?”
He shrugs nonchalantly. “Still alive, I believe. The last time I spoke to him he talked enthusiastically about a certain girl group that went to perform at his base camp. Apparently one of the members winked at him.”
It takes her a few seconds to process the information before she starts laughing. Seungcheol’s elder brother, who is now enlisted as a marine, is pretty much the opposite of him. Despite their age gap, sometimes Seungcheol seems more like the older one. It's always entertaining to watch them.
“I wish Jaebum oppa was at least half as funny. You have no idea how lucky you are,” says Nayeon, leaning back on the bench.
“That's because you don't know how much of a mess he is, really. I always wished he could be more serious like your brother.”
“Do you want to trade?” she suggests, raising her brows.
He considers the offer for a second, then shakes his head. “Tempting, but I'll pass,” says him, scrunching his nose. “At least mine leaves me alone.”
“Traitor.” She hits him on the arm with her water bottle, hard enough to make a sound but not enough to leave a bruise. He still exaggerates the pain, and announces he's going to steal her bicycle so she'll have to walk home. But like her, Seungcheol is all threats and no action.
“Come on,” he prompts, standing up, and stretches a bit to cool down. “My weekend morning drama's about to start. Today I’ll find out if the dead twin sister is actually still alive.”
“You’re turning into a housewife day by day,” she comments, frowning at him.
“That doesn't sound too bad. At least I won't need to worry about exams?” he replies, flashing a grin that reveals his gums. Soft wind blows as he offers her his hand. This morning is warmer than the past mornings, and if she inhales deeply enough, she might be able to smell the approaching spring. “You know I cook better than you, anyway.”
Chuckling, she takes his hand and gets to her feet. “Let’s race down to the convenience store.”
“You have a bicycle. How is that fair at all?”
Nayeon shrugs as she reaches for her bicycle. “Well, you have your steel legs.”
“I feel like that compliment is a trap but I can't disagree,” he says, laughing.
Seungcheol ends up taking the win. He scrapes by seconds early as Nayeon gets caught up apologizing to another jogger who she almost ran into while turning a corner. When she arrives, he makes sure to rub it in her face and teases her endlessly, but she just rolls her eyes and makes him pay for her apple juice. He doesn't protest.
“Are you seriously going through your sister's tagged photos?” asks Hyejeong as she leans in to peek at his screen over his shoulder. “I know you've always been extra protective over Nayeon, but stalking her on social media is a whole new level of low, Im Jaebum.”
“By extra protective, you mean obsessive,” Jongin quips, settling in the seat across of her to maintain a safe distance because everyone knows how Jaebum reacts to criticisms, especially when it comes to his sister. Jaebum reaches for Jongin's bag of chips and tears it open while the latter protests. “That's my snack for class later!”
“You're not supposed to snack in class, dumbass,” Jaebum retorts in between mouthfuls. Jongin quickly steals his chips back and puts it away while Hyejeong shakes her head. “I'm just observing the people around her, okay? Making sure she’s not hanging out with shady people?” Jaebum tries, but neither of his friends seem to buy it. He narrows his eyes at them “Why are you two together, anyway?”
“Are you targeting us now?” Hyejeong raises her brows. There's a hint of amusement in her tone.
Jongin, on the other hand, looks scandalised. “He’s the obsessive, stalkerish ex-boyfriend type. Why are you still dating him?” he asks her, and gets a smack on the arm by Jaebum.
“Sometimes I ask myself the same question,” Hyejeong replies. Jaebum dramatically drops his phone and gives her a wounded look.
“This is a betrayal,” he mutters, and starts packing his things to leave. Neither of them actually attempts to stop him, though, so he does get up and leave for real even though there's still an hour to go until his next class. The classroom is probably empty right now, so he figures he can nap for a while.
“Seriously, why are you so sulky?” He looks to his left and finds Hyejeong catching up to him. “You're worse than any girls.”
“You could just stay with Jongin if you want to,” he says.
“And let you sulk on your own? I would never.” She laughs, while he rolls his eyes. “How’s Nayeon, by the way? Does she still hate you?” When he shoots her lasers from his eyes, she pats his shoulder and shifts the focus of her question. “Is she still working at the café?”
“Yeah,” he grits out, and Hyejeong realizes she's made another mistake because this is all Jaebum's going to babble about the entire week. But the face he makes when he talks about his only sibling is too amusing for her to ignore. “I mean, do you even get why she's insisting to continue to work there? It's not like money is tight at home.”
“She's still keeping up well at school, right? She's learning to manage her time better and be more independent, don't worry too much,” she reassures him. Although he doesn't look like her words have instilled some faith in him, at least the wrinkles in his forehead have lessened. With a promise to drop by and visit Nayeon, Hyejeong pats him off to his class before heading off to her own.
“Who even does pop quiz without any notice?” Nayeon half sobs into her text book. It's an unhealthy habit to check the answers right after a test, but she really needed to know the answer to question 4.
“I hate to break this to you, Nayeon, but that's how pop quizzes work,” replies Seungcheol, trying his best not to open his own book to check his answers. Stretching his arms, he looks around the noisy classroom. Everyone is either sighing or whining. Or probably playing guitar, like Heejun, the boy sitting at Nayeon’s right side, is doing. No one is paying him any attention, but Seungcheol thinks he probably needs to learn a thing or two from this boy.
“Do you think this quiz will affect our grades?” she asks after throwing a light punch on his arm.
He scrunches his nose. “Don’t think so,” he says. He really doesn’t think this pop quiz is anything more than just a random quiz, but he said that mostly to comfort his friend, who often stresses herself out by worrying too much about grades.
She closes the book, plops down over the desk, and sighs dramatically. “Should I just get married to some rich dude and not worry about getting good grades, getting into a good university and finding a good job?”
“Sure, but which rich dude would marry you?” he quips back. She kicks him under the desk this time while he laughs all too cheerfully. “I just have one piece of advice for you - don’t let your brother find out about this plan.”
“If he ever finds out, the first person I would suspect is you.” She gives him a pointed look. “What are you doing after school?”
“Sleep,” he answers with a dreamy smile, as though imagining it is enough to make him happy. “Why? Do you wanna go somewhere?”
“I have work, but I was wondering if we can study after my shift ends?”
“Then when are you going to do your homework?” He frowns.
“After we're done studying?”
“And what time will that be? How many times must I remind you to get enough rest and sleep in your bed instead of at your desk like a normal person?”
She purses her lips and glares at him briefly, then turns sideways to look at the other kids. He knows that look.
The two of them have known each other practically their entire lives, having grown up in the same neighbourhood since they were little kids, but they didn’t grow close and become friends until middle school when she mistakenly accused him of stealing her lunchbox, which he did not. She only realized that he was telling the truth when Jaebum showed up at the door looking annoyed, her lunchbox in hand and dirt on his white shirt from climbing over the gate that separates high school from middle school. Nayeon ended up sharing her food with Seungcheol to apologize.
“What time does your shift end?” he asks after a while, eyes on his phone as he waits for the game app to load. He doesn't look up, but he can pretty much see the way her face lights up as he goes on. “Just so you know, we're just doing our homework together, okay? And then you go home and go straight to bed.”
“Okay, mother.” She laughs, then runs around the desk over to his side and almost chokes him with a hug. “I'll buy you as much ramyun as you like,” she says.
“Forget it.” He laughs along while shrugging her off, but doesn't reject the large caramel latte with extra caramel drizzle - just the way Seungcheol likes it - that she pushes into his hand later.
Seeing the familiar figure standing by the street, Jaebum slowly pulls over and rolls down the window to get her attention. Hyejeong breaks into a smile when she notices him, opens the door and quickly hops in.
“Thanks for coming all the way on such a short notice. I totally forgot I sent my suit to the dry cleaner. I'm so lucky they're still open,” says her, folding the suit on her lap.
“I'd rather you call me than take a taxi, anyway,” he replies, helping her with the seatbelt before giving a signal to join the cars on the road. “You and Nayeon are always so careless and forgetful. What do I do with the both of you?”
“You know, I'd be so hurt if Nayeon wasn't your sister because you're always comparing us,” Hyejeong points out, and he laughs.
“Be thankful I'm not comparing you to my mum. It could be worse.” She hits his arm, but he simply continues laughing. “What time is your interview tomorrow?”
“The email says it starts at 9, but I need to be there at least half an hour early.”
He raises his brows. “Want me to drive you?”
“Don't you have class tomorrow morning?”
“Classes are meant to be skipped,” he says with a grin. “Come on, it’s Professor Hong’s class. I’m going to fall asleep in lecture anyway.”
“Spoken like a model student,” Hyejeong says, amused. “Except I don’t want to hear that from someone who nagged at me for 20 minutes for missing a class the last time.” She reaches over to switch the radio station and raising the volume when she hears a song she likes.
Within minutes, they’re already entering her neighbourhood vicinity, thanks to clear traffic at this hour. Jaebum points out the broken lamp post that still hasn’t been fixed as he pulls over in front of her house, a tiny old-fashioned apartment that she shares with her friend. “Are you sure you want to give up on the comfort of my car for the cramped train?”
She shakes her head. “You’re going to go to your class and pay attention like what a real model student would do. I’m going to have Jongin check on you.”
“Like he’s not going to fall asleep before me,” he scoffs, but she crosses her arms and doesn’t back down. “Okay. Aren’t you going to invite me in? I could use some ramyun,” he asks teasingly as she gets out from the car with her suit from the backseat.
“In your dreams,” she laughs, slamming the car door for the dramatic effect.
He rolls the window down and cranes his neck out with his arms perched on the door. “Don’t bomb your interview tomorrow!” he half shouts, eyes crinkling into two thin happy lines.
Hyejeong waves him off with a smile that mirrors his.
Nayeon is heading back to her class after dropping off the History homework when their homeroom teacher calls out to her. “Can you help pass this out later?” Ms. Min asks, a hand on a stack of papers on her desk.
“What’s that?” Nayeon frowns, and catches the underlined words on top of the paper when she takes a step closer. Her heart sinks.
“Senior tradition. Fill in your top three university choices and hand it back to me by the end of this week,” explains Ms. Min with an easy smile. “Make sure it’s signed by parents, okay? I can tell if the signature is fake so don’t even think about it.”
“Please have more faith in your students.” Nayeon clicks her tongue jokingly while her teacher chuckles, and proceeds to transfer the stack from the desk into her hands. It’s not as heavy as the pile of books she was carrying earlier, but it’s not a short walk between the teachers’ office and the classroom.
“Please don’t tell me that’s our midterms,” Seungcheol, who’s waiting for her, asks nervously when she enters the class. Everyone else has gone for lunch except Dowoon who’s sleeping at his desk with his headphone on.
She sets the stack down on the teacher’s table. “Worse,” says her, and Seungcheol peers at the paper. The face he makes now must be more or less similar to the one she made earlier.
“Ugh, what a way to ruin our day.” He shudders, then sits on someone’s desk and looks at her. “Well, at least you’ve already made up your mind, right?”
For someone who’s been going on about going to Yonsei and never looking back, Nayeon is strangely quiet. She takes a seat on a different desk facing him and their knees knock against each other. “I don’t know,” she answers slowly.
“What do you mean you don’t know? Everyone who knows you knows you’re going to Yonsei and nothing is stopping you, not even SNU or Harvard or your brother.”
“For the record, I might think twice if it’s Harvard, not that I actually applied,” she tells him, then tries to pull on the skin under her fingernail. “I don't know, Seungcheol. I've been dead set on Yonsei, but what if it's not right for me, after all? Also, Jaebum oppa really wants me to go to SNU and when I think about it, I don't really want to disappoint him.”
He lets out a sigh. “I know even though you two bicker like there's no tomorrow, your brother is still important to you and you don't want to let him down, but this is about your future, Nayeon. It's not as simple as giving up the last piece of tteokbeokki. You don't get a do over.” He jumps to his feet. “Speaking of which, can we go eat now? I'm really hungry,” he says, placing a hand on his stomach. He holds out the other hand for her, which she takes with the smallest of a smile.
Still, she doesn’t stop thinking about it all day. When she finds herself alone with Wonpil in the store-cum-break room at their part time job later that evening, she decides to voice out her concern and get his opinion. After all he’s already gone through this phase and isn’t SNU-biased at least.
“Why don’t you go to KU instead? End of concern,” he jokes while balancing a cherry tomato between his chopsticks, and she threatens to hit him with the two plastics of paper cups she’s holding and supposed to bring out. “Well, why did you want to go to Yonsei in the first place?”
Nayeon, not expecting the question, blinks at him. “What?”
“If you’ve been insisting to go there, you must have a good reason, right? So I’m asking you what that reason is. Is it the course you want to study, or the university’s reputation, or is it because the distance?”
“Uh,” she falters before she barely begins. In all honesty, she’s never really thought about it. She hasn’t even decided what she wants to major in. “Is it okay to say that I have no idea?” she admits. “I mean, all I know is that’s where I want to go after I graduate from high school. But everything else… it’s still a blurry image. I don’t know what kind of job I want to do. How is an 18-year-old supposed to know everything? Do you even know what you’re having for lunch tomorrow?”
“Probably kimbab.” He shrugs. “But hey, it’s cool if you don’t know yet. I didn’t decide to go to university until three months before sooneung, I think?”
“No way!”
“It’s true. I spent all my time playing games, and when I heard professional gamers actually make a lot of money, I thought I could become one. I think I made my mum cry when I told her about it. She went to some temple on a hill everyday to pray for me, and we’re atheists,” he laughs as he recounts the memory, while she looks at him like she doesn’t know who she’s talking to anymore.
“I can’t believe you! What changed your mind though?”
“I finally realized that I suck at games. Really. I even lost against kids. Then I realized my part time job back then wouldn’t get me anywhere. Everyone told me it was too late to start studying, but I was like, screw this, I’d rather regret not trying enough than not trying at all. So I studied like a mad man for the entire three months.” Wonpil says all this good-humouredly like it’s someone else’s story instead of his, but then he turns to her with a wistful smile. “At least you know where you want to go and your grades are good enough to guarantee a spot there, right? That’s already something to be proud of.”
Nayeon replays his words over and over as she stares at his pink Tupperware pensively while he finishes off his dinner. It’s not long until their supervisor comes in and berates her about the cups he asked 15 minutes ago. “I'm getting life advices here!” she defends herself before she gets kicked out from the room. “And Sungjae was supposed to clock in an hour ago!”
Hyejeong half-jogs, half-sprints her way to the cafeteria where Nayeon is waiting. The distance between their promised meeting and her class isn't that far, but her lecturer dismissed them later than usual today and the mass of people crowding the hallway is not helping at all.
To her relief, Nayeon doesn't seem bothered by the wait. She's absorbed in the book she's reading when Hyejeong arrives. “Hey,” the latter says as she slides into the empty chair across Nayeon. “Did you wait long? I'm so sorry! My class ended late today and someone asked a question at the very last minute, so none of us could leave.”
She's a little breathless as she speaks, so Nayeon smiles and pushes the extra can of Milka she bought earlier towards Hyejeong. “I just arrived, too. Don't worry,” she reassures as Hyejeong thanks her for the drink.
“You're not a good liar, just like your brother,” says Hyejeong with a small laugh, pointing at the empty biscuit wrapper on the table. Nayeon doesn't look that amused by the comparison, so her grin grows, thinking of how similar the siblings are.
“You didn't tell him I'm here, right?” asks Nayeon, glancing around warily.
“Of course not. I told him I'm meeting my groupmates to discuss our assignment.”
The younger girl smiles in relief. On Seungcheol's advice, Nayeon has seeked out Hyejeong, the only person she knows who attends Yonsei besides Jaebum, and asked if she could show her around the place. While it wouldn’t do much to help her decide, it could give her a clearer picture, imagining her life there. Hyejeong is simply happy to be of help, already aware of the pressure Jaebum gives.
“Why isn’t your cute friend with you?” she asks when they’re walking outside. The weather is not too hot today, and a lot of students are just lounging on the grass, reading notes while munching on their food or catching power naps before their next class.
Nayeon’s eyebrows knit in confusion. “Who?”
“The one who’s always with you. I suddenly can’t remember his name.”
She racks her brain trying to recall which of her friends that Hyejeong has met before, but fails to think of anyone besides: “Seungcheol?”
“Right!”
“He has hagwon today,” she answers, then grimaces. “And he’s not cute!”
“He is! Come on, he has the cutest gummy smile. You gotta admit that.”
She almost admits it, but she shakes her head quickly. “Seungcheol is not cu- oh my god, I can’t even say that word and his name in the same breath.”
Hyejeong is laughing like she’s enjoying every bit of the horror Nayeon is experiencing. “Both of you are cute,” she says, then points at something in the distance. “You’ve already seen the eagle on your way in, right?”
Nayeon’s eyes follow the direction of her finger, and find the famous statue, a miniscule from where they stand. “Oh, yeah, I did.”
“That’s the museum across Baegyangno, the main path, and the hospital is right behind. Along with the school of medicine, nursing, all that. If you have any plans to marry a doctor that’s where you should hang out,” Hyejeong jokes. Blush immediately creeps up to Nayeon’s cheeks while she lightly hits Hyejeong’s arm. “Let’s go over there. Nothing beats walking down Baegyangno. I still get the same fluttering feelings sometimes, just like the first time I arrived.”
They talk about her times here, including her freshman year at the international campus. She recounts her memories and tells her stories so animatedly that Nayeon almost feels like she was there, too. In the midst of sharing embarrassing anecdotes about Jaebum, they reach the ivy-covered Underwood Hall that Nayeon has seen so often on TV.
“How is it?” asks Hyejeong, grinning broadly as she crosses her arms. “Anything like you imagined?”
Instead of answering right away, Nayeon keeps her gaze on the stunning brick building, lips parted in awe. “Everything and more.”
Hyejeong smiles, then turns Nayeon around before opening the camera app and holds her phone up. “I'll take some pictures for you!” she says.
When she takes Nayeon to the English garden next, they run into Jongin and Taemin, who eye Nayeon suspiciously. “This is a familiar face,” muses Jongin, hands on his hips while his face is serious. “Where did I see you before?”
Taemin, from another department and is not actually friends with Jaebum but has heard about him often enough from Jongin to know everything, has his arms crossed and a finger tapping his cheek like he's reassessing the situation. He studies Nayeon, who is looking at all three of them confusedly. “You're not a student here, are you?”
Hyejeong huffs while Jongin frowns at his friend. “If the school uniform isn't obvious enough?” he says, pointing at her outfit. But then his frown deepens like he suddenly realised something. “Wait, I've seen this uniform before-” he pauses mid-sentence, then something strikes him. “You are Jaebum's sister!”
“Jaebum, you mean that Jaebum?” Taemin's eyes widen.
“Why does this make me nervous?” asks Nayeon, taking a step back instinctively to hide behind Hyejeong, who is trying not to laugh but fails miserably.
“You don’t really want to know,” she tells Nayeon, then turns to the two boys. “Don’t tell Jaebum she’s here. He’s not supposed to know.”
“I’m texting him right away,” replies Jongin jokingly. “What are you up to?”
“I’m just taking her on a tour around the campus. She’s considering Yonsei for college.”
“Oh, our future hoobae!” he says excitedly. “Did you guys eat already? Come on, let sunbaenim buy you lunch,” he says to Nayeon with a grin, fixing the strap of his backpack on his shoulder.
When she appears hesitant, Hyejeong pats her on the shoulder and tells her not to worry. “Jongin is a bit dumb but he’s okay,” she says as they start walking towards a nearby cafeteria, to which Jongin protests loudly and threatens to call Jaebum. But he doesn’t.
Taemin excuses himself and goes off to eat with his classmates. As the three of them appease their hunger and Hyejeong and Jongin discuss their assignment that’s due the following week, Nayeon glances around and watches all the people in the cafeteria. She feels a bit out of place in her school uniform and regrets not changing into something else before coming. Earlier, Seungcheol sent her a message asking about her tour. Can you picture yourself there? She lets out a quiet sigh and wishes she can find the answer in her bowl of kimchi jjigae.
Jaebum does end up finding out about Nayeon’s visit and isn't all that happy, just like everyone expected.
“She's having a hard time, you know? Imagine how stressed she already is with school, and she has to make a choice that will decide her future. You've been through that yourself. Can't you be more understanding and stop pressuring the poor kid?” says Hyejeong, noticing his upset face. She thinks if anyone's going to be upset about this, the last person it should be is him. “What is it about this place that you disapprove so much?”
“It's not that,” he replies, clenching his jaw for a second. “It’s just… not the best.”
“And how do you know that it's not the best for her?”
He doesn't answer. His eyes drift to the bunch of sticks on the table, reminder of the amount of fish cakes they ate. The soju bottle they share is empty, and he finishes off what's left in his shot glass.
“It's getting late. Let's go.” He takes out his wallet, leaves a couple of notes on the table, and grabs his backpack.
The streets are quiet and peaceful for a weekend night, as though everyone else has gone somewhere and left them behind. Or maybe they're just sleeping. Their shoulders bump several times as they walk side by side on the pavement. Hyejeong looks at Jaebum, who is too distracted by his thoughts to say anything, takes his hand and interlaces their fingers.
“I could drive her home, if I had known. Goyang isn't that close,” he finally says.
She smiles at him. Everyone knows he would never admit how much he loves his sister, even if he was held at gunpoint, but everyone also knows that he would drop everything to run to her, no matter how far, no matter what it takes. “Nayeonie is so lucky.”
He chuckles. “Well, she's not the only one,” he says, shrugging, then leans in to give her a quick kiss. “Thanks for doing that for her.”
Summer rolls around and Nayeon takes more shifts at the café.
Seungcheol genuinely worries for her. “Is it okay to work this much?” he asks over his caramel latte when he comes over to visit after hagwon. His bag on the chair and the stack of books on the table lay forgotten.
She shrugs. “It takes my mind off things.” Her shift is over and she’s already changed back into her own clothes, but she told him she’s tired and wants to sit for a while.
He doesn’t say anything and just watches her. There weren’t that many customers today - he knows because he asked the other part-timer earlier. He’s also come everyday this week, and the creases on Wonpil’s forehead grow deeper every passing day, worried about his sugar intake. Seungcheol’s concerns are only of Nayeon, though, who has been unusually quiet lately.
She’s silent even as they sit together in the bus. They're sharing his earphones, but usually she'd just talk over the music about whatever that crossed her mind. “Are you okay?” he asks in the end when they've alighted from the bus, unable to ignore it any longer.
She turns to him and smiles a bit too brightly for it to be genuine. There's no sign of her bunny teeth. “Why would I not be okay? Of course I am.”
“You spend all day working and all night studying. Don’t lie to me and say that’s not true, because I can tell it is from how sunken your eyes are. You’re not even a good liar to begin with,” he says. “Never mind a day. How many hours do you sleep a week?”
She presses her lips together and turns her face away. “I’m fine, Seungcheol. Don’t worry.”
“Hey, Nayeon.” He stops her, reaching for her arm. She looks up at him expectantly. “You know you can talk to me right?”
“Sure.” She tries another smile. It looks better this time, at least. She pats him on the shoulder. “Race me till the convenience store?”
Seungcheol scoffs. She never wins at these races despite being the one to suggest them all the time. At least, not unless he gives in and pretends to trip over his own foot. He does the same today and lets her win.
“Isn't that Nayeon?”
Jaebum squints at the direction Hyejeong's pointing. It's undoubtedly his sister, standing in front of a shelf staring at the books blankly. He makes his way over.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, and she appears startled by the sudden presence.
“Oh, it's just you,” she says when their eyes meet and she realizes who it is. It sounds unenthusiastic and so unlike her.
“What are you doing?” he repeats his question.
“I'm looking for some books.”
“All the way to Seoul?”
“Well, the stores in town didn't have them. And today's my day off so I thought…” she trails off, but never finishes her sentence. Her voice lacks energy, he notices, and her eyes are missing the spark. She looks so out of it, but he doesn't point it out.
“Are you alone?”
She nods. He stares at his sister, brows furrowed. His eyes later drift down to the books she's hugging to her chest, a couple of mock entrance exam exercises and an English book. “Are those all?” he asks.
She raises her eyebrows. “What?”
“The books you wanted,” says him, nodding at what she's holding. “Are there more?”
“Oh. No, this is all.”
He steps forward and takes the books out of her hands before he turns away wordlessly and makes his way towards the counter. She watches his back, blinking, and that's when Hyejeong approaches her and slides an arm around her back and places her hand on the shoulder. “You haven't had lunch yet, right?”
Nayeon blinks again. Her stomach makes a low rumbling sound right then, and she remembers belatedly and she hasn’t eaten anything besides the banana she grabbed before leaving the house this morning. They begin to walk towards Jaebum as she shakes her head. “Have you?”
“No. We were going to get something to eat, anyway. Come with us!” invites Hyejeong. She towers over Nayeon, who needs to tilt her head up to meet her gaze.
“No, I shouldn-”
“We’ll be more glad if you join us, really,” Hyejeong says in reassurance. Her smile is bright enough to make up for Nayeon’s lack of spirit.
Jaebum is done with the payment when they arrive at the counter, making sure to keep enough distance to let others know they’re not standing in line. The paper bag seems heavy, and he keeps his fingers curled around the thin rope. “What do you want to eat?” he asks, like he was listening in to their conversation.
Pursing her lips into a thin line, Nayeon hums in contemplation. “Meat,” she settles, and he clicks his tongue.
“I shouldn't have asked,” he says in mock annoyance.
They go to a barbecue restaurant nearby and order portions enough for five people. The little plates containing side dishes are lined up on the table, and the meat cuts are turning brown on the grill, arranged neatly to make the most of it and save time. He grabs a piece that’s cooked thoroughly with his chopsticks and puts it on top Nayeon’s rice. She looks up at him with an arched eyebrow.
“At least your appetite is still intact,” he comments, flipping another piece of meat one last time before placing it in Hyejeong’s bowl this time. Afterwards, he grabs a charred piece and puts it in his mouth. “Is that kid Sungjae still bothering you at work?”
Nayeon lets out a chuckle. “He quit few weeks ago. His mum is making him attend hagwon, it seems,” she tells him, then falls silent for a moment, mulling over what she wants to say next. She begins carefully. “Do you think mum and dad would mind if I want to start going to hagwon, too?”
“I don’t think so?” he answers, a little taken aback by her question. Their parents have never been that strict about their studies, so they never pushed them hard and made them attend extra classes. Jaebum, too, only went because he wanted to. “Are you… having any problems? You’re falling behind?”
“It’s not that.” She shakes her head quickly, not wanting him to worry. “I just- sometimes can’t tell which part I’ve read and which part I haven’t, sometimes I can’t even remember what I’ve read several times already, and sometimes I just… fall asleep. I feel like I’m not getting anywhere on my own.”
He understands what she’s feeling. Even now, there are times when it feels like he’s run into a wall, when he would stare at the ceiling and question his whole life.
“I have the money from my part-time job,” Nayeon adds, and that makes him flinch.
“No.”
“No?”
“I mean, no, don’t use your money,” he says. Most of the meat are cooked now, so he pulls them off the grill and stacks them in the empty plate next to the lettuce and perilla leaves. “Just talk to them. They wouldn’t mind.”
They’re quiet again, and he places another piece of meat in her bowl. Hyejeong takes the queue and quickly changes the subject to lighten the mood. Underneath the table, she reaches for his hand and gives it a squeeze, and he flashes a grateful smile.
“Nayeon?” he calls when she’s about to turn towards their house. Jaebum refused to go in although he’s dropped Hyejeong off at the campus for her appointment with her lecturer, knowing their mother would make him spend the night instead.
Pausing in her steps, Nayeon looks at him, waiting. “What?”
“You know,” he begins carefully. Back then, she used to wait in front of his school gate to walk back home together, even though he finished much later than her and she could use that time to catch a nap comfortably at home. He hadn’t liked it at first, typical embarrassment for being seen hanging out with your little sister. But when she stopped coming, he’d felt a little lost. He looks at Nayeon now, more grown up than he remembers. “You don’t have to go SNU.”
She stares at him confusedly, but a smile appears on her lips soon enough. “Am I hearing things?” she teases.
Laughing, he doesn’t comment further but just reaches out a hand to pat her head like she’s still that little kid trying to charm her way to get an ice-cream. “Go get some sleep,” he says before turning around to climb back into the car, and drives off.
Nayeon quits her job around the time the cooler breeze starts drawing people out from the comfort of air-conditioned rooms for a walk outside again. She doesn't register herself at a hagwon, but she spends more time revising and doing mock tests with her friends. It's much better than staring blankly at her notes that her own handwriting stopped making sense to her.
She's waiting for a bus together with Seungcheol, just the two of them. Seunghee, Jisoo and Jihun who were with them had already left on a different bus. Nayeon keeps her stare on the road at the direction where their bus is supposed to come from, but only taxis keep showing up, slowing down upon seeing them just in case.
“Do you want to walk instead?” Seungcheol asks all of a sudden, his voice piercing the stillness of the night like a drop of water that causes a ripple effect.
Their school isn't that too far away from their neighbourhood, but they usually take the bus because it stops directly across the school gate. Sometimes, when the bus is too packed or the weather is too nice, they'd choose to walk instead. Nayeon shrugs indifferently, and Seungcheol takes out a sweater from his backpack and hands it to her before they get up.
“You’ll catch a cold” is all he says, so she puts it on while he holds on to her bag. “Have you decided where to go after all?” asks him later as they trek past a line of stores, most have already closed for the day.
Neither of them has brought up this topic in a while, but he knows she's still conflicted inside. In the summer, she had confessed to him that Jaebum has been her main reason for wanting Yonsei. She's stuck close behind him all her life, so it only feels right to go where he is.
“Still clueless as ever, Seungcheol,” she laughs. “Isn't 18 the age of badly made decisions? Why are we being trusted for something this big?”
“Then would you trust your brother to make decisions for you instead?”
She pretends to consider the option. “Tempting, but I'll pass,” says her, shaking her head with another laugh. Then she looks at him. “What about you? Where do you want to go?” she prods, and that’s when she realizes something. “I don't think I've ever asked you before, did I?”
“Better late than never.” He shrugs and makes a sad expression, but soon his face breaks into a smile that reveals his gum. She laughs and punches his arm lightly, and when the laughter ebbs away, he answers her question. “There are many universities in this country. I’m sure one of them will feel sorry enough for me and take me in.”
She rolls her eyes. “You’re talking as if you didn’t get the highest mark in the last test.”
“It was a mock test! That doesn’t count,” counters him, and they both laugh again.
Not long after, silence settles in once more and they’re already turning the corner to the narrow road that would lead up to her house. When a car appears, they shuffle to the side to make way. The lamp post they’re standing under as they wait for another car to pass casts a dim light on them.
“You know, I don’t really mind where I end up going,” he says quietly, eyes trained on the road. Then he turns to her. “I just…”
With raised eyebrows, she glances up at him, the face she’s grown so familiar with. School will end in several months, and she doesn’t know what will happen after that. How many more times will they be able to spend time walking together like this? She opens her mouth. “You just what?”
“I just…” he hesitates again, and his eyes drift down to his feet. When he looks up again, there’s the smallest of smile gracing his lips. He pulls it wider before he begins again. “I just want to be near you.”
For the longest minute, they keep their eyes on each other without saying a single word, without moving. There won’t be many more nights like this, she thinks, biting her lower lip. “I don’t think I can imagine a life without you,” she says, as quiet as the night. His sweater is keeping her warm, just like him. He blinks, and she smiles at him.
Nayeon finds Jaebum’s car parked right outside the school. The weather has gotten cold lately, but he’s standing outside, his legs crossed and back leaned against the passenger door. Half of his face is buried beneath the scarf around his neck. When she calls out to him, he looks from his phone to her, and pushes himself off the car with a smile on his face.
“You’ve worked hard,” he says, patting her head.
“Ugh, I can’t believe it’s finally over,” she groans, then looks up to squint at the sky, wondering if snow would fall today. “I wasted my youth on some stupid exam.”
“Don’t be dramatic. You’re just 18,” he laughs. He steps back and opens the car door for her before going over to the other side. As soon as he’s started the engine, she changes the radio station and cranks up the volume. He shoots her a warning glare, but that is all. “So? Any hope of getting into SNU?”
Clicking her tongue, she gives him an incredulous look. “I thought we’re over this conversation?”
“Doesn’t hurt to try.”
She rolls her eyes, then glances to her right and watches the buildings, establishments and lines of shops they pass by, a fleeting image. Her favourite song happens to start playing on the radio, so she rolls down the window to let the wind in. It’s a little cold, but her lips stretch into the widest smile. It feels nice.
siblings Nayeon/Jaebum, Nayeon/Seungcheol, Jaebum/Hyejeong
8818 w, g
a/n: this is one of my old wips that i started around the same time as light years i think? what initially inspired this was a reply 1994: reimagined fic i stumbled upon a long time ago (never actually finished it), but most of all i just wanted to write a feel good siblings fic for myself lol. i listened to this song a lot while writing the latter half of this. many thanks to sapphy who cheered me on! also if you prefer ao3.
It has been a busy afternoon, and being left alone to work behind the counter, Nayeon struggles to juggle between taking and making orders while making sure that the smile on her customers’ faces haven’t turned into a scowl as they wait. Sungjae and Hyojung are supposed to be working this shift with her, but Hyojung is down with fever while the latter went for “a short break” half an hour ago but never came back. Nayeon curses under her breath as she rinses one of the blenders she just used because this is not his first time (not even the second time) and swears she will not let him bribe her out of telling on him to their manager this time around.
Leaning against the countertop, she’s just about to take a breather when she senses someone approaching out of the corners of her eyes, so she tries not to sigh and immediately plasters her practiced friendly smile back on as she turns around. “Welcome t-” she stops halfway when she sees who it is.
“One decaf caramel latte, extra caramel sauce and lots of whipping cream please.”
“Are you for real?” she asks, glaring.
“Is this how you treat your customers? Let me talk to your manager.”
“Seriously! Stop disturbing me and please go away.”
Jaebum grins at his sister who is rolling her eyes at him as she adjusts her apron. “I’ll be glad to, but you explain to mum later why you’re coming home alone and not with me,” he says, his grin not faltering even when she shoots him another glare. “Why are you alone, anyway?”
Nayeon shrugs. “The person who’s supposed to be on duty today called in sick. And Sungjae’s slacking off.”
“And let you handle all those rude customers on your own? That jerk. Should I go give him a piece of my mind later?”
“By mind you mean your fist. Please, don’t do unnecessary things. I’m going to rat him out anyway.”
“Attagirl.”
“Besides the only rude customer I’ve had today is you, except you’re not even a customer.”
“I spoke too soon,” he adds while his sister sticks her tongue out before flashing a victorious grin, revealing her bunny teeth. He gives her a pointed look, and gestures at a certain direction with his chin. “I’ll wait over there, okay.”
“‘kay,” she nods.
Two more customers come in while he waits, and it’s only when Nayeon finishes making their orders that Sungjae shows up a little too happily which only adds up to her annoyance. She’s considering throwing her apron at him when someone else enters the cafe, but realizing it’s just Wonpil, another part-timer who’s here for his shift, she proceeds.
Seeing the two, Wonpil chuckles as he joins her behind the counter. “Was he slacking off again?” he asks. He’s a university student working part-time to pay for his tuition fees, and a total opposite of Sungjae. He’s never late for his shifts, will always call if something comes up urgently, only speaks when necessary and smiles most of the times. Their manager said it’s also a good selling point to attract customers aside from his face.
“What do you think?” she huffs while the other boy tries to protest. It gets ignored as she grabs her apron back and starts folding it. “I’m leaving.”
“Already?” the two boys ask almost in unison.
“I’m already working past my shift, thanks to someone. Besides,” Nayeon tilts her head towards Jaebum’s direction, and Wonpil understands. “Work hard,” she says, smiling extra sweetly at Sungjae, who returns the gesture, while Wonpil just laughs again before disappearing to the staff room to change into his uniform.
She comes out again soon and makes her way to where her brother is at. “Let’s go,” she says when he looks up.
Jaebum parked the car not far from the café. Nayeon changes the radio channel and blasts the speaker as soon as he starts the car, and consequently gets slapped on the hand.
“What, your music is boring,” she protests, scowling.
“Don’t abuse my car like that,” he responds, putting the gear in reverse then skillfully swerves out of the parking space. She retorts by pointing out although their father did mention about letting Jaebum use the car once he graduates, it's not his just yet. He pretends not to hear. “How was school?” asks him after a while.
“You sound like mum,” she deadpans, so he reaches out to flick her on the forehead without taking his eyes off the road. She hits him back on the arm. “School is school. What do you expect?”
That question makes him chuckle, eyes crinkling into happy crescent shapes. “In that case how's your vita going? Are you collecting enough specs to meet SNU’s requirements?”
“I don’t know. I’m not applying to SNU anyways so that doesn't matter,” she replies flatly.
“Why not?”
“Because I don't want to go there.”
“That's nonsense. Everyone wants to go to SNU.”
Everyone except me, Nayeon mentally responds. Saying it out loud would only lead to an argument, and she's too worn out from work today for that. Besides, it's not the first time she's voiced out her intention of not applying for SNU. Her brother wasn't that ecstatic to hear it, and seems like he still thinks she's not making a wise decision.
“You’re good enough for SNU, so why would you want to pass it up? I mean, have you seen the campus? You need to see it for yourself,” he goes on talking about the place he worships so much, while she fixes her gaze outside, only half listening.
The thing is, Jaebum doesn't even go to SNU. He missed the mark and only managed to get into his second choice university, Yonsei, which really isn't that bad at all. Lots of other people would kill to have his place.
“What's wrong with Yonsei? What's so wrong with other universities?” she asks, staring at the ceiling of her bedroom with her phone pressed to her ear. Back then, she had wanted to get it papered so she can pretend to be gazing at the sky whenever she’s laying in bed, but her parents thought that would make the room seem dark, so she had to settle with the plain white.
“Nothing’s wrong with any of them,” says Seungcheol. “It's just that he probably wants the best for you.”
Nayeon turns to her side and sighs. She can hear hip hop music from the background, and assumes he's sitting at his desk studying. Loud music helps him focus, apparently, and mostly keeps him awake. Even if they're at the library, he would have his earphones with him. “How would he know which one is the best for me?”
“Honestly, nobody does,” he replies with a smaller voice. The music disappears suddenly, which makes her wonder if he turned it off or lowered the volume. “But I don't think he would want you to choose something that ranks second, at least to him, when he knows you're good enough for the first place?”
“What you said makes sense and I hate that,” she mumbles, then hears his chuckle at the other end of the line. It sounds close, as though they're not in two separate rooms blocks away from each other.
“I take that as a compliment,” he returns. “Is he on a break?”
“Nah, he's just back for the weekend,” she answers. “I wish he would go back sooner, though. He spends the entire time home talking about SNU.”
Seungcheol continues to fill the silence of the night with his laugh, and she feels like she can see his crinkled eyes if she just closed her eyes. “I’d feel sad to hear that if I was him,” he says.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” she asks, changing the subject.
“Tomorrow?” It’s silent for a moment as he gives it a thought. “Maybe I’ll go run at the park in the morning. Don’t have anything planned after that, though. Why?”
“Can I come along?”
“Sure. I’ll swing by your house at 7?”
Her eyes flickers at the clock mounted on the wall above the door. “Can we make that 8?”
“I knew you'd say that,” he chuckles, then firmly adds: “7.”
“Relentless,” she replies, groaning. The clock continues to tick away, and she hears the sound of television coming from the living room. They hang up after confirming the plan and exchanging good nights, and then Nayeon gets up and goes to sit at her desk, scattered with so many university pamphlets. She gathers them all into a stack, sets them aside, and takes out her English workbook and the dictionary that once belonged to Jaebum.
A lot of things that she owns now used to be Jaebum's. Growing up with an older sibling has made her life a breeze, pretty much, since he's laid down the foundation and opened all the doors for her, and she only needs to walk. It's easy to follow his steps.
This time, however, she's unsure if she should keep tailing behind him or forge on a whole new path for herself, for the first time. Maybe he does know better. She wishes she knows best.
“Let's go one more round,” Seungcheol suggests, which puzzles Nayeon because she doesn't know whether she should be amazed or horrified at his stamina. They've already circled the park three times, and he's been maintaining the pace since they departed from her house.
“No, let’s stop here. I’m exhausted,” she whines. Making a sad face doesn't work on Seungcheol normally, but she tries anyway just in case.
He stops on his track and gives her a pointed look. “You’re on bike, and I’m the one running,” he refutes, as expected. “Shouldn't I be more tired than you?”
“If you didn't have the stamina of, I don't know, a horse? Then probably?”
“Im Nayeon, you little…” Without finishing his sentence, he places a finger on the area in between her brows and pushes. “Two more rounds.”
She narrows her eyes and scowls. “I’m going home.”
He's laughing as he follows her to the nearest bench. They've known each other well enough to know their quirks, like how she is always just harmless threats and he would always let her have her way in the end, so neither of them say a word about it while they sit together. She hands him the extra bottle of water she brought with her, since he never brings one.
“Tell me honestly, you came today just to get away from home, right?” asks him after taking a large swig, half emptying the bottle.
“I’m here to get some fresh air while doing my regular exercise. I can't believe you would doubt my good intentions, Choi Seungcheol,” she replies, feigning a betrayed look.
He snorts. “Do you really think I would buy that?”
“Doesn't hurt to try,” she answers with a grin, bunny teeth peeking out. “How's your brother?”
He shrugs nonchalantly. “Still alive, I believe. The last time I spoke to him he talked enthusiastically about a certain girl group that went to perform at his base camp. Apparently one of the members winked at him.”
It takes her a few seconds to process the information before she starts laughing. Seungcheol’s elder brother, who is now enlisted as a marine, is pretty much the opposite of him. Despite their age gap, sometimes Seungcheol seems more like the older one. It's always entertaining to watch them.
“I wish Jaebum oppa was at least half as funny. You have no idea how lucky you are,” says Nayeon, leaning back on the bench.
“That's because you don't know how much of a mess he is, really. I always wished he could be more serious like your brother.”
“Do you want to trade?” she suggests, raising her brows.
He considers the offer for a second, then shakes his head. “Tempting, but I'll pass,” says him, scrunching his nose. “At least mine leaves me alone.”
“Traitor.” She hits him on the arm with her water bottle, hard enough to make a sound but not enough to leave a bruise. He still exaggerates the pain, and announces he's going to steal her bicycle so she'll have to walk home. But like her, Seungcheol is all threats and no action.
“Come on,” he prompts, standing up, and stretches a bit to cool down. “My weekend morning drama's about to start. Today I’ll find out if the dead twin sister is actually still alive.”
“You’re turning into a housewife day by day,” she comments, frowning at him.
“That doesn't sound too bad. At least I won't need to worry about exams?” he replies, flashing a grin that reveals his gums. Soft wind blows as he offers her his hand. This morning is warmer than the past mornings, and if she inhales deeply enough, she might be able to smell the approaching spring. “You know I cook better than you, anyway.”
Chuckling, she takes his hand and gets to her feet. “Let’s race down to the convenience store.”
“You have a bicycle. How is that fair at all?”
Nayeon shrugs as she reaches for her bicycle. “Well, you have your steel legs.”
“I feel like that compliment is a trap but I can't disagree,” he says, laughing.
Seungcheol ends up taking the win. He scrapes by seconds early as Nayeon gets caught up apologizing to another jogger who she almost ran into while turning a corner. When she arrives, he makes sure to rub it in her face and teases her endlessly, but she just rolls her eyes and makes him pay for her apple juice. He doesn't protest.
“Are you seriously going through your sister's tagged photos?” asks Hyejeong as she leans in to peek at his screen over his shoulder. “I know you've always been extra protective over Nayeon, but stalking her on social media is a whole new level of low, Im Jaebum.”
“By extra protective, you mean obsessive,” Jongin quips, settling in the seat across of her to maintain a safe distance because everyone knows how Jaebum reacts to criticisms, especially when it comes to his sister. Jaebum reaches for Jongin's bag of chips and tears it open while the latter protests. “That's my snack for class later!”
“You're not supposed to snack in class, dumbass,” Jaebum retorts in between mouthfuls. Jongin quickly steals his chips back and puts it away while Hyejeong shakes her head. “I'm just observing the people around her, okay? Making sure she’s not hanging out with shady people?” Jaebum tries, but neither of his friends seem to buy it. He narrows his eyes at them “Why are you two together, anyway?”
“Are you targeting us now?” Hyejeong raises her brows. There's a hint of amusement in her tone.
Jongin, on the other hand, looks scandalised. “He’s the obsessive, stalkerish ex-boyfriend type. Why are you still dating him?” he asks her, and gets a smack on the arm by Jaebum.
“Sometimes I ask myself the same question,” Hyejeong replies. Jaebum dramatically drops his phone and gives her a wounded look.
“This is a betrayal,” he mutters, and starts packing his things to leave. Neither of them actually attempts to stop him, though, so he does get up and leave for real even though there's still an hour to go until his next class. The classroom is probably empty right now, so he figures he can nap for a while.
“Seriously, why are you so sulky?” He looks to his left and finds Hyejeong catching up to him. “You're worse than any girls.”
“You could just stay with Jongin if you want to,” he says.
“And let you sulk on your own? I would never.” She laughs, while he rolls his eyes. “How’s Nayeon, by the way? Does she still hate you?” When he shoots her lasers from his eyes, she pats his shoulder and shifts the focus of her question. “Is she still working at the café?”
“Yeah,” he grits out, and Hyejeong realizes she's made another mistake because this is all Jaebum's going to babble about the entire week. But the face he makes when he talks about his only sibling is too amusing for her to ignore. “I mean, do you even get why she's insisting to continue to work there? It's not like money is tight at home.”
“She's still keeping up well at school, right? She's learning to manage her time better and be more independent, don't worry too much,” she reassures him. Although he doesn't look like her words have instilled some faith in him, at least the wrinkles in his forehead have lessened. With a promise to drop by and visit Nayeon, Hyejeong pats him off to his class before heading off to her own.
“Who even does pop quiz without any notice?” Nayeon half sobs into her text book. It's an unhealthy habit to check the answers right after a test, but she really needed to know the answer to question 4.
“I hate to break this to you, Nayeon, but that's how pop quizzes work,” replies Seungcheol, trying his best not to open his own book to check his answers. Stretching his arms, he looks around the noisy classroom. Everyone is either sighing or whining. Or probably playing guitar, like Heejun, the boy sitting at Nayeon’s right side, is doing. No one is paying him any attention, but Seungcheol thinks he probably needs to learn a thing or two from this boy.
“Do you think this quiz will affect our grades?” she asks after throwing a light punch on his arm.
He scrunches his nose. “Don’t think so,” he says. He really doesn’t think this pop quiz is anything more than just a random quiz, but he said that mostly to comfort his friend, who often stresses herself out by worrying too much about grades.
She closes the book, plops down over the desk, and sighs dramatically. “Should I just get married to some rich dude and not worry about getting good grades, getting into a good university and finding a good job?”
“Sure, but which rich dude would marry you?” he quips back. She kicks him under the desk this time while he laughs all too cheerfully. “I just have one piece of advice for you - don’t let your brother find out about this plan.”
“If he ever finds out, the first person I would suspect is you.” She gives him a pointed look. “What are you doing after school?”
“Sleep,” he answers with a dreamy smile, as though imagining it is enough to make him happy. “Why? Do you wanna go somewhere?”
“I have work, but I was wondering if we can study after my shift ends?”
“Then when are you going to do your homework?” He frowns.
“After we're done studying?”
“And what time will that be? How many times must I remind you to get enough rest and sleep in your bed instead of at your desk like a normal person?”
She purses her lips and glares at him briefly, then turns sideways to look at the other kids. He knows that look.
The two of them have known each other practically their entire lives, having grown up in the same neighbourhood since they were little kids, but they didn’t grow close and become friends until middle school when she mistakenly accused him of stealing her lunchbox, which he did not. She only realized that he was telling the truth when Jaebum showed up at the door looking annoyed, her lunchbox in hand and dirt on his white shirt from climbing over the gate that separates high school from middle school. Nayeon ended up sharing her food with Seungcheol to apologize.
“What time does your shift end?” he asks after a while, eyes on his phone as he waits for the game app to load. He doesn't look up, but he can pretty much see the way her face lights up as he goes on. “Just so you know, we're just doing our homework together, okay? And then you go home and go straight to bed.”
“Okay, mother.” She laughs, then runs around the desk over to his side and almost chokes him with a hug. “I'll buy you as much ramyun as you like,” she says.
“Forget it.” He laughs along while shrugging her off, but doesn't reject the large caramel latte with extra caramel drizzle - just the way Seungcheol likes it - that she pushes into his hand later.
Seeing the familiar figure standing by the street, Jaebum slowly pulls over and rolls down the window to get her attention. Hyejeong breaks into a smile when she notices him, opens the door and quickly hops in.
“Thanks for coming all the way on such a short notice. I totally forgot I sent my suit to the dry cleaner. I'm so lucky they're still open,” says her, folding the suit on her lap.
“I'd rather you call me than take a taxi, anyway,” he replies, helping her with the seatbelt before giving a signal to join the cars on the road. “You and Nayeon are always so careless and forgetful. What do I do with the both of you?”
“You know, I'd be so hurt if Nayeon wasn't your sister because you're always comparing us,” Hyejeong points out, and he laughs.
“Be thankful I'm not comparing you to my mum. It could be worse.” She hits his arm, but he simply continues laughing. “What time is your interview tomorrow?”
“The email says it starts at 9, but I need to be there at least half an hour early.”
He raises his brows. “Want me to drive you?”
“Don't you have class tomorrow morning?”
“Classes are meant to be skipped,” he says with a grin. “Come on, it’s Professor Hong’s class. I’m going to fall asleep in lecture anyway.”
“Spoken like a model student,” Hyejeong says, amused. “Except I don’t want to hear that from someone who nagged at me for 20 minutes for missing a class the last time.” She reaches over to switch the radio station and raising the volume when she hears a song she likes.
Within minutes, they’re already entering her neighbourhood vicinity, thanks to clear traffic at this hour. Jaebum points out the broken lamp post that still hasn’t been fixed as he pulls over in front of her house, a tiny old-fashioned apartment that she shares with her friend. “Are you sure you want to give up on the comfort of my car for the cramped train?”
She shakes her head. “You’re going to go to your class and pay attention like what a real model student would do. I’m going to have Jongin check on you.”
“Like he’s not going to fall asleep before me,” he scoffs, but she crosses her arms and doesn’t back down. “Okay. Aren’t you going to invite me in? I could use some ramyun,” he asks teasingly as she gets out from the car with her suit from the backseat.
“In your dreams,” she laughs, slamming the car door for the dramatic effect.
He rolls the window down and cranes his neck out with his arms perched on the door. “Don’t bomb your interview tomorrow!” he half shouts, eyes crinkling into two thin happy lines.
Hyejeong waves him off with a smile that mirrors his.
Nayeon is heading back to her class after dropping off the History homework when their homeroom teacher calls out to her. “Can you help pass this out later?” Ms. Min asks, a hand on a stack of papers on her desk.
“What’s that?” Nayeon frowns, and catches the underlined words on top of the paper when she takes a step closer. Her heart sinks.
“Senior tradition. Fill in your top three university choices and hand it back to me by the end of this week,” explains Ms. Min with an easy smile. “Make sure it’s signed by parents, okay? I can tell if the signature is fake so don’t even think about it.”
“Please have more faith in your students.” Nayeon clicks her tongue jokingly while her teacher chuckles, and proceeds to transfer the stack from the desk into her hands. It’s not as heavy as the pile of books she was carrying earlier, but it’s not a short walk between the teachers’ office and the classroom.
“Please don’t tell me that’s our midterms,” Seungcheol, who’s waiting for her, asks nervously when she enters the class. Everyone else has gone for lunch except Dowoon who’s sleeping at his desk with his headphone on.
She sets the stack down on the teacher’s table. “Worse,” says her, and Seungcheol peers at the paper. The face he makes now must be more or less similar to the one she made earlier.
“Ugh, what a way to ruin our day.” He shudders, then sits on someone’s desk and looks at her. “Well, at least you’ve already made up your mind, right?”
For someone who’s been going on about going to Yonsei and never looking back, Nayeon is strangely quiet. She takes a seat on a different desk facing him and their knees knock against each other. “I don’t know,” she answers slowly.
“What do you mean you don’t know? Everyone who knows you knows you’re going to Yonsei and nothing is stopping you, not even SNU or Harvard or your brother.”
“For the record, I might think twice if it’s Harvard, not that I actually applied,” she tells him, then tries to pull on the skin under her fingernail. “I don't know, Seungcheol. I've been dead set on Yonsei, but what if it's not right for me, after all? Also, Jaebum oppa really wants me to go to SNU and when I think about it, I don't really want to disappoint him.”
He lets out a sigh. “I know even though you two bicker like there's no tomorrow, your brother is still important to you and you don't want to let him down, but this is about your future, Nayeon. It's not as simple as giving up the last piece of tteokbeokki. You don't get a do over.” He jumps to his feet. “Speaking of which, can we go eat now? I'm really hungry,” he says, placing a hand on his stomach. He holds out the other hand for her, which she takes with the smallest of a smile.
Still, she doesn’t stop thinking about it all day. When she finds herself alone with Wonpil in the store-cum-break room at their part time job later that evening, she decides to voice out her concern and get his opinion. After all he’s already gone through this phase and isn’t SNU-biased at least.
“Why don’t you go to KU instead? End of concern,” he jokes while balancing a cherry tomato between his chopsticks, and she threatens to hit him with the two plastics of paper cups she’s holding and supposed to bring out. “Well, why did you want to go to Yonsei in the first place?”
Nayeon, not expecting the question, blinks at him. “What?”
“If you’ve been insisting to go there, you must have a good reason, right? So I’m asking you what that reason is. Is it the course you want to study, or the university’s reputation, or is it because the distance?”
“Uh,” she falters before she barely begins. In all honesty, she’s never really thought about it. She hasn’t even decided what she wants to major in. “Is it okay to say that I have no idea?” she admits. “I mean, all I know is that’s where I want to go after I graduate from high school. But everything else… it’s still a blurry image. I don’t know what kind of job I want to do. How is an 18-year-old supposed to know everything? Do you even know what you’re having for lunch tomorrow?”
“Probably kimbab.” He shrugs. “But hey, it’s cool if you don’t know yet. I didn’t decide to go to university until three months before sooneung, I think?”
“No way!”
“It’s true. I spent all my time playing games, and when I heard professional gamers actually make a lot of money, I thought I could become one. I think I made my mum cry when I told her about it. She went to some temple on a hill everyday to pray for me, and we’re atheists,” he laughs as he recounts the memory, while she looks at him like she doesn’t know who she’s talking to anymore.
“I can’t believe you! What changed your mind though?”
“I finally realized that I suck at games. Really. I even lost against kids. Then I realized my part time job back then wouldn’t get me anywhere. Everyone told me it was too late to start studying, but I was like, screw this, I’d rather regret not trying enough than not trying at all. So I studied like a mad man for the entire three months.” Wonpil says all this good-humouredly like it’s someone else’s story instead of his, but then he turns to her with a wistful smile. “At least you know where you want to go and your grades are good enough to guarantee a spot there, right? That’s already something to be proud of.”
Nayeon replays his words over and over as she stares at his pink Tupperware pensively while he finishes off his dinner. It’s not long until their supervisor comes in and berates her about the cups he asked 15 minutes ago. “I'm getting life advices here!” she defends herself before she gets kicked out from the room. “And Sungjae was supposed to clock in an hour ago!”
Hyejeong half-jogs, half-sprints her way to the cafeteria where Nayeon is waiting. The distance between their promised meeting and her class isn't that far, but her lecturer dismissed them later than usual today and the mass of people crowding the hallway is not helping at all.
To her relief, Nayeon doesn't seem bothered by the wait. She's absorbed in the book she's reading when Hyejeong arrives. “Hey,” the latter says as she slides into the empty chair across Nayeon. “Did you wait long? I'm so sorry! My class ended late today and someone asked a question at the very last minute, so none of us could leave.”
She's a little breathless as she speaks, so Nayeon smiles and pushes the extra can of Milka she bought earlier towards Hyejeong. “I just arrived, too. Don't worry,” she reassures as Hyejeong thanks her for the drink.
“You're not a good liar, just like your brother,” says Hyejeong with a small laugh, pointing at the empty biscuit wrapper on the table. Nayeon doesn't look that amused by the comparison, so her grin grows, thinking of how similar the siblings are.
“You didn't tell him I'm here, right?” asks Nayeon, glancing around warily.
“Of course not. I told him I'm meeting my groupmates to discuss our assignment.”
The younger girl smiles in relief. On Seungcheol's advice, Nayeon has seeked out Hyejeong, the only person she knows who attends Yonsei besides Jaebum, and asked if she could show her around the place. While it wouldn’t do much to help her decide, it could give her a clearer picture, imagining her life there. Hyejeong is simply happy to be of help, already aware of the pressure Jaebum gives.
“Why isn’t your cute friend with you?” she asks when they’re walking outside. The weather is not too hot today, and a lot of students are just lounging on the grass, reading notes while munching on their food or catching power naps before their next class.
Nayeon’s eyebrows knit in confusion. “Who?”
“The one who’s always with you. I suddenly can’t remember his name.”
She racks her brain trying to recall which of her friends that Hyejeong has met before, but fails to think of anyone besides: “Seungcheol?”
“Right!”
“He has hagwon today,” she answers, then grimaces. “And he’s not cute!”
“He is! Come on, he has the cutest gummy smile. You gotta admit that.”
She almost admits it, but she shakes her head quickly. “Seungcheol is not cu- oh my god, I can’t even say that word and his name in the same breath.”
Hyejeong is laughing like she’s enjoying every bit of the horror Nayeon is experiencing. “Both of you are cute,” she says, then points at something in the distance. “You’ve already seen the eagle on your way in, right?”
Nayeon’s eyes follow the direction of her finger, and find the famous statue, a miniscule from where they stand. “Oh, yeah, I did.”
“That’s the museum across Baegyangno, the main path, and the hospital is right behind. Along with the school of medicine, nursing, all that. If you have any plans to marry a doctor that’s where you should hang out,” Hyejeong jokes. Blush immediately creeps up to Nayeon’s cheeks while she lightly hits Hyejeong’s arm. “Let’s go over there. Nothing beats walking down Baegyangno. I still get the same fluttering feelings sometimes, just like the first time I arrived.”
They talk about her times here, including her freshman year at the international campus. She recounts her memories and tells her stories so animatedly that Nayeon almost feels like she was there, too. In the midst of sharing embarrassing anecdotes about Jaebum, they reach the ivy-covered Underwood Hall that Nayeon has seen so often on TV.
“How is it?” asks Hyejeong, grinning broadly as she crosses her arms. “Anything like you imagined?”
Instead of answering right away, Nayeon keeps her gaze on the stunning brick building, lips parted in awe. “Everything and more.”
Hyejeong smiles, then turns Nayeon around before opening the camera app and holds her phone up. “I'll take some pictures for you!” she says.
When she takes Nayeon to the English garden next, they run into Jongin and Taemin, who eye Nayeon suspiciously. “This is a familiar face,” muses Jongin, hands on his hips while his face is serious. “Where did I see you before?”
Taemin, from another department and is not actually friends with Jaebum but has heard about him often enough from Jongin to know everything, has his arms crossed and a finger tapping his cheek like he's reassessing the situation. He studies Nayeon, who is looking at all three of them confusedly. “You're not a student here, are you?”
Hyejeong huffs while Jongin frowns at his friend. “If the school uniform isn't obvious enough?” he says, pointing at her outfit. But then his frown deepens like he suddenly realised something. “Wait, I've seen this uniform before-” he pauses mid-sentence, then something strikes him. “You are Jaebum's sister!”
“Jaebum, you mean that Jaebum?” Taemin's eyes widen.
“Why does this make me nervous?” asks Nayeon, taking a step back instinctively to hide behind Hyejeong, who is trying not to laugh but fails miserably.
“You don’t really want to know,” she tells Nayeon, then turns to the two boys. “Don’t tell Jaebum she’s here. He’s not supposed to know.”
“I’m texting him right away,” replies Jongin jokingly. “What are you up to?”
“I’m just taking her on a tour around the campus. She’s considering Yonsei for college.”
“Oh, our future hoobae!” he says excitedly. “Did you guys eat already? Come on, let sunbaenim buy you lunch,” he says to Nayeon with a grin, fixing the strap of his backpack on his shoulder.
When she appears hesitant, Hyejeong pats her on the shoulder and tells her not to worry. “Jongin is a bit dumb but he’s okay,” she says as they start walking towards a nearby cafeteria, to which Jongin protests loudly and threatens to call Jaebum. But he doesn’t.
Taemin excuses himself and goes off to eat with his classmates. As the three of them appease their hunger and Hyejeong and Jongin discuss their assignment that’s due the following week, Nayeon glances around and watches all the people in the cafeteria. She feels a bit out of place in her school uniform and regrets not changing into something else before coming. Earlier, Seungcheol sent her a message asking about her tour. Can you picture yourself there? She lets out a quiet sigh and wishes she can find the answer in her bowl of kimchi jjigae.
Jaebum does end up finding out about Nayeon’s visit and isn't all that happy, just like everyone expected.
“She's having a hard time, you know? Imagine how stressed she already is with school, and she has to make a choice that will decide her future. You've been through that yourself. Can't you be more understanding and stop pressuring the poor kid?” says Hyejeong, noticing his upset face. She thinks if anyone's going to be upset about this, the last person it should be is him. “What is it about this place that you disapprove so much?”
“It's not that,” he replies, clenching his jaw for a second. “It’s just… not the best.”
“And how do you know that it's not the best for her?”
He doesn't answer. His eyes drift to the bunch of sticks on the table, reminder of the amount of fish cakes they ate. The soju bottle they share is empty, and he finishes off what's left in his shot glass.
“It's getting late. Let's go.” He takes out his wallet, leaves a couple of notes on the table, and grabs his backpack.
The streets are quiet and peaceful for a weekend night, as though everyone else has gone somewhere and left them behind. Or maybe they're just sleeping. Their shoulders bump several times as they walk side by side on the pavement. Hyejeong looks at Jaebum, who is too distracted by his thoughts to say anything, takes his hand and interlaces their fingers.
“I could drive her home, if I had known. Goyang isn't that close,” he finally says.
She smiles at him. Everyone knows he would never admit how much he loves his sister, even if he was held at gunpoint, but everyone also knows that he would drop everything to run to her, no matter how far, no matter what it takes. “Nayeonie is so lucky.”
He chuckles. “Well, she's not the only one,” he says, shrugging, then leans in to give her a quick kiss. “Thanks for doing that for her.”
Summer rolls around and Nayeon takes more shifts at the café.
Seungcheol genuinely worries for her. “Is it okay to work this much?” he asks over his caramel latte when he comes over to visit after hagwon. His bag on the chair and the stack of books on the table lay forgotten.
She shrugs. “It takes my mind off things.” Her shift is over and she’s already changed back into her own clothes, but she told him she’s tired and wants to sit for a while.
He doesn’t say anything and just watches her. There weren’t that many customers today - he knows because he asked the other part-timer earlier. He’s also come everyday this week, and the creases on Wonpil’s forehead grow deeper every passing day, worried about his sugar intake. Seungcheol’s concerns are only of Nayeon, though, who has been unusually quiet lately.
She’s silent even as they sit together in the bus. They're sharing his earphones, but usually she'd just talk over the music about whatever that crossed her mind. “Are you okay?” he asks in the end when they've alighted from the bus, unable to ignore it any longer.
She turns to him and smiles a bit too brightly for it to be genuine. There's no sign of her bunny teeth. “Why would I not be okay? Of course I am.”
“You spend all day working and all night studying. Don’t lie to me and say that’s not true, because I can tell it is from how sunken your eyes are. You’re not even a good liar to begin with,” he says. “Never mind a day. How many hours do you sleep a week?”
She presses her lips together and turns her face away. “I’m fine, Seungcheol. Don’t worry.”
“Hey, Nayeon.” He stops her, reaching for her arm. She looks up at him expectantly. “You know you can talk to me right?”
“Sure.” She tries another smile. It looks better this time, at least. She pats him on the shoulder. “Race me till the convenience store?”
Seungcheol scoffs. She never wins at these races despite being the one to suggest them all the time. At least, not unless he gives in and pretends to trip over his own foot. He does the same today and lets her win.
“Isn't that Nayeon?”
Jaebum squints at the direction Hyejeong's pointing. It's undoubtedly his sister, standing in front of a shelf staring at the books blankly. He makes his way over.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, and she appears startled by the sudden presence.
“Oh, it's just you,” she says when their eyes meet and she realizes who it is. It sounds unenthusiastic and so unlike her.
“What are you doing?” he repeats his question.
“I'm looking for some books.”
“All the way to Seoul?”
“Well, the stores in town didn't have them. And today's my day off so I thought…” she trails off, but never finishes her sentence. Her voice lacks energy, he notices, and her eyes are missing the spark. She looks so out of it, but he doesn't point it out.
“Are you alone?”
She nods. He stares at his sister, brows furrowed. His eyes later drift down to the books she's hugging to her chest, a couple of mock entrance exam exercises and an English book. “Are those all?” he asks.
She raises her eyebrows. “What?”
“The books you wanted,” says him, nodding at what she's holding. “Are there more?”
“Oh. No, this is all.”
He steps forward and takes the books out of her hands before he turns away wordlessly and makes his way towards the counter. She watches his back, blinking, and that's when Hyejeong approaches her and slides an arm around her back and places her hand on the shoulder. “You haven't had lunch yet, right?”
Nayeon blinks again. Her stomach makes a low rumbling sound right then, and she remembers belatedly and she hasn’t eaten anything besides the banana she grabbed before leaving the house this morning. They begin to walk towards Jaebum as she shakes her head. “Have you?”
“No. We were going to get something to eat, anyway. Come with us!” invites Hyejeong. She towers over Nayeon, who needs to tilt her head up to meet her gaze.
“No, I shouldn-”
“We’ll be more glad if you join us, really,” Hyejeong says in reassurance. Her smile is bright enough to make up for Nayeon’s lack of spirit.
Jaebum is done with the payment when they arrive at the counter, making sure to keep enough distance to let others know they’re not standing in line. The paper bag seems heavy, and he keeps his fingers curled around the thin rope. “What do you want to eat?” he asks, like he was listening in to their conversation.
Pursing her lips into a thin line, Nayeon hums in contemplation. “Meat,” she settles, and he clicks his tongue.
“I shouldn't have asked,” he says in mock annoyance.
They go to a barbecue restaurant nearby and order portions enough for five people. The little plates containing side dishes are lined up on the table, and the meat cuts are turning brown on the grill, arranged neatly to make the most of it and save time. He grabs a piece that’s cooked thoroughly with his chopsticks and puts it on top Nayeon’s rice. She looks up at him with an arched eyebrow.
“At least your appetite is still intact,” he comments, flipping another piece of meat one last time before placing it in Hyejeong’s bowl this time. Afterwards, he grabs a charred piece and puts it in his mouth. “Is that kid Sungjae still bothering you at work?”
Nayeon lets out a chuckle. “He quit few weeks ago. His mum is making him attend hagwon, it seems,” she tells him, then falls silent for a moment, mulling over what she wants to say next. She begins carefully. “Do you think mum and dad would mind if I want to start going to hagwon, too?”
“I don’t think so?” he answers, a little taken aback by her question. Their parents have never been that strict about their studies, so they never pushed them hard and made them attend extra classes. Jaebum, too, only went because he wanted to. “Are you… having any problems? You’re falling behind?”
“It’s not that.” She shakes her head quickly, not wanting him to worry. “I just- sometimes can’t tell which part I’ve read and which part I haven’t, sometimes I can’t even remember what I’ve read several times already, and sometimes I just… fall asleep. I feel like I’m not getting anywhere on my own.”
He understands what she’s feeling. Even now, there are times when it feels like he’s run into a wall, when he would stare at the ceiling and question his whole life.
“I have the money from my part-time job,” Nayeon adds, and that makes him flinch.
“No.”
“No?”
“I mean, no, don’t use your money,” he says. Most of the meat are cooked now, so he pulls them off the grill and stacks them in the empty plate next to the lettuce and perilla leaves. “Just talk to them. They wouldn’t mind.”
They’re quiet again, and he places another piece of meat in her bowl. Hyejeong takes the queue and quickly changes the subject to lighten the mood. Underneath the table, she reaches for his hand and gives it a squeeze, and he flashes a grateful smile.
“Nayeon?” he calls when she’s about to turn towards their house. Jaebum refused to go in although he’s dropped Hyejeong off at the campus for her appointment with her lecturer, knowing their mother would make him spend the night instead.
Pausing in her steps, Nayeon looks at him, waiting. “What?”
“You know,” he begins carefully. Back then, she used to wait in front of his school gate to walk back home together, even though he finished much later than her and she could use that time to catch a nap comfortably at home. He hadn’t liked it at first, typical embarrassment for being seen hanging out with your little sister. But when she stopped coming, he’d felt a little lost. He looks at Nayeon now, more grown up than he remembers. “You don’t have to go SNU.”
She stares at him confusedly, but a smile appears on her lips soon enough. “Am I hearing things?” she teases.
Laughing, he doesn’t comment further but just reaches out a hand to pat her head like she’s still that little kid trying to charm her way to get an ice-cream. “Go get some sleep,” he says before turning around to climb back into the car, and drives off.
Nayeon quits her job around the time the cooler breeze starts drawing people out from the comfort of air-conditioned rooms for a walk outside again. She doesn't register herself at a hagwon, but she spends more time revising and doing mock tests with her friends. It's much better than staring blankly at her notes that her own handwriting stopped making sense to her.
She's waiting for a bus together with Seungcheol, just the two of them. Seunghee, Jisoo and Jihun who were with them had already left on a different bus. Nayeon keeps her stare on the road at the direction where their bus is supposed to come from, but only taxis keep showing up, slowing down upon seeing them just in case.
“Do you want to walk instead?” Seungcheol asks all of a sudden, his voice piercing the stillness of the night like a drop of water that causes a ripple effect.
Their school isn't that too far away from their neighbourhood, but they usually take the bus because it stops directly across the school gate. Sometimes, when the bus is too packed or the weather is too nice, they'd choose to walk instead. Nayeon shrugs indifferently, and Seungcheol takes out a sweater from his backpack and hands it to her before they get up.
“You’ll catch a cold” is all he says, so she puts it on while he holds on to her bag. “Have you decided where to go after all?” asks him later as they trek past a line of stores, most have already closed for the day.
Neither of them has brought up this topic in a while, but he knows she's still conflicted inside. In the summer, she had confessed to him that Jaebum has been her main reason for wanting Yonsei. She's stuck close behind him all her life, so it only feels right to go where he is.
“Still clueless as ever, Seungcheol,” she laughs. “Isn't 18 the age of badly made decisions? Why are we being trusted for something this big?”
“Then would you trust your brother to make decisions for you instead?”
She pretends to consider the option. “Tempting, but I'll pass,” says her, shaking her head with another laugh. Then she looks at him. “What about you? Where do you want to go?” she prods, and that’s when she realizes something. “I don't think I've ever asked you before, did I?”
“Better late than never.” He shrugs and makes a sad expression, but soon his face breaks into a smile that reveals his gum. She laughs and punches his arm lightly, and when the laughter ebbs away, he answers her question. “There are many universities in this country. I’m sure one of them will feel sorry enough for me and take me in.”
She rolls her eyes. “You’re talking as if you didn’t get the highest mark in the last test.”
“It was a mock test! That doesn’t count,” counters him, and they both laugh again.
Not long after, silence settles in once more and they’re already turning the corner to the narrow road that would lead up to her house. When a car appears, they shuffle to the side to make way. The lamp post they’re standing under as they wait for another car to pass casts a dim light on them.
“You know, I don’t really mind where I end up going,” he says quietly, eyes trained on the road. Then he turns to her. “I just…”
With raised eyebrows, she glances up at him, the face she’s grown so familiar with. School will end in several months, and she doesn’t know what will happen after that. How many more times will they be able to spend time walking together like this? She opens her mouth. “You just what?”
“I just…” he hesitates again, and his eyes drift down to his feet. When he looks up again, there’s the smallest of smile gracing his lips. He pulls it wider before he begins again. “I just want to be near you.”
For the longest minute, they keep their eyes on each other without saying a single word, without moving. There won’t be many more nights like this, she thinks, biting her lower lip. “I don’t think I can imagine a life without you,” she says, as quiet as the night. His sweater is keeping her warm, just like him. He blinks, and she smiles at him.
Nayeon finds Jaebum’s car parked right outside the school. The weather has gotten cold lately, but he’s standing outside, his legs crossed and back leaned against the passenger door. Half of his face is buried beneath the scarf around his neck. When she calls out to him, he looks from his phone to her, and pushes himself off the car with a smile on his face.
“You’ve worked hard,” he says, patting her head.
“Ugh, I can’t believe it’s finally over,” she groans, then looks up to squint at the sky, wondering if snow would fall today. “I wasted my youth on some stupid exam.”
“Don’t be dramatic. You’re just 18,” he laughs. He steps back and opens the car door for her before going over to the other side. As soon as he’s started the engine, she changes the radio station and cranks up the volume. He shoots her a warning glare, but that is all. “So? Any hope of getting into SNU?”
Clicking her tongue, she gives him an incredulous look. “I thought we’re over this conversation?”
“Doesn’t hurt to try.”
She rolls her eyes, then glances to her right and watches the buildings, establishments and lines of shops they pass by, a fleeting image. Her favourite song happens to start playing on the radio, so she rolls down the window to let the wind in. It’s a little cold, but her lips stretch into the widest smile. It feels nice.