(if only i could be) 1 centimeter closer to your heart
(if only i could be) 1 centimeter closer to your heart
jr/suzy, jr/sulli
1510 w, g
note: this is my take on 5 centimeters per second
“How much more do I have to lose, before my heart is forgiven?
How many more pains do I have to suffer, to meet you once again?”
Dear Jinyoung,
We have just finished unloading all boxes and furnitures, and too exhausted, my parents decided to rest for a while. I’m taking this opportunity to write this letter to you.
Incheon is not that much different from Seoul, except a lot calmer. Then again, we live away from the main city. My new house is slightly bigger, as well, with a big yard. While looking around the house, I kept thinking of finding the perfect spot for us to play together, only to realize belatedly that you are not here. I miss you already, Jinyoung. I hope every now and then, you can write to me so I wouldn’t feel that lonely.
Please do not forget about me.
Sincerely,
Suji
Dear Jinyoung,
I am adjusting well to my new school. It’s a lot smaller compared to our school in Seoul, and the library has less books, but I’m growing to be fond of it. My classmates are nice to me as well, so I managed to make friends easily. Still, sometimes when I look out the window from my seat to watch some boys from another class playing soccer at the field, I would try to find you among them.
Sincerely,
Suji
Dear Jinyoung,
Summer heat is already dissipating, and the colours of leaves are already changing. Looking at the yellowing leaves, I get reminded of the cherry blossom flowers we saw together on our way to school. Somehow, the memory feels so distant to me. We used to walk to and from school together every day, but I can no longer remember the details. The signboards, the shoplots, the shape of the lamp posts that I once pointed out. All of these are fading away from my mind. Am I fading away from your mind as well?
Sincerely,
Suji
Dear Jinyoung,
The first snow fell yesterday. Have you had the first snow? Out of habit, I pay attention to the weather forecast in Seoul, even though I never used to do that when I was still there. Do you still remember when we were walking home and it suddenly rained so hard that we had to seek shelter at the police kiosk until your mother came to pick us up?
Please dress warmly and don’t catch a cold. I can’t be there to nurse you anymore.
Sincerely,
Suji
Dear Jinyoung,
It’s late, but Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. As I stared at the fireworks, I wondered if there was someone next to you. I hope there was.
Sincerely,
Suji
Dear Jinyoung,
Winter is melting away. I guess that means the flowers will start blooming soon. Last year, we made a promise to catch cherry blossom petals together on our first day of school, didn’t we?
Next to the school field, there is a huge cherry blossom tree. Someone told me it’s almost a century old. Isn’t it magnificent? It makes me wish that I could be reborn as a tree in my next life so I could always stay at the same spot.
Sincerely,
Suji
Dear Jinyoung,
Here are the petals I caught. How I wish I can be there with you. I’m sorry that I have to break our promise.
Sincerely,
Suji
Dear Jinyoung,
I have always loved you, and I think I always will. If only I had the courage to send all my letters to you, would things have been different for us?
Sincerely,
Suji
July 22
A new boy joined my class today. With a careful voice, he introduced himself as Jinyoung. He seems quiet and shy - I wonder if it’s because he’s from Seoul. He’s so different from the local boys who are mostly rough and loud - typical Busan kind. He didn’t even get mad when some kids teased his Seoul accent. During class, however, I noticed that he likes to stare out the window, and when he does, somehow he looks so… lonely.
August 7
He talked to me today. Jinyoung. For the first time since he transferred here.
At the library, he saw that I was trying to reach for a book at the topmost rack, so he went to look for a stool. But when he came back, he saw that I already managed to pull out that book by jumping. It made me slightly embarrassed, but he laughed good-heartedly, saying I reminded him of a friend of his. I didn’t ask, but from the way his smile lingered a second too long, I could guess that it was a dear friend.
“Jinri, right?” he asked later.
I was surprised that he knew my name since we never spoke to each other, but he said he tried to memorize everyone’s name as fast as possible. He told me that he didn’t really have friends in his previous school, so he want to make as many as he can here.
I wanted to tell him that I can be his friend here, but the bell rang then, so I just watched him go.
September 2
Without planning, we both stayed behind at school to do some work. The sun was almost setting when we were finally leaving, and Jinyoung insisted on walking me home. He asked me a strange question while we sat outside a convenience store on our way. “Do you know what is the distance between two hearts?” I was too taken aback to respond, but before I could think of an answer, he laughed and said it was just a silly random question. If it was, why did he look so serious when he asked that?
September 30
Ever since that day, Jinyoung walked me home from school every evening. He said the streets leading to my house are too dark and empty, so it’s dangerous for a girl to be walking alone. I told him I’m already used to it, but he insisted, saying he used to walk his friend home back then. I asked, in the most casual tone I could muster, if it was a special friend, and he just laughed.
He never answered my question.
November 12
Whenever I find Jinyoung alone, he would always be typing something on his phone. I asked him once, again in the most casual tone I could muster, if he was texting someone. He told me it’s no one important. If it is, why must he quickly shove his phone away whenever someone approaches him?
November 17
Jinyoung is so terribly kind. Sometimes as he smiles at me, my tears well up in my heart.
December 20
Why do I feel like he is drifting away everyday?
Was he ever here at all?
January 1
While watching the fireworks, I decided to gather my courage to confess to him. But one glance at his face as he stared at the painted night sky, I had my answer. Even when he is right beside me, I can never reach out to him.
To: undefined
The cherry blossom trees have bloomed. Last year, unaware of what future had planned for us, we made a promise to catch the petals together. I wish you were here.
To: undefined
The first thought that crossed my mind when Mother told me that we would be moving down to Busan was, we are getting further apart. From Seoul, Incheon is just a bus trip away, and I would arrive before the sun even sets. Busan, however, is a different story.
To: undefined
What is the distance between our hearts? I asked a friend of mine today, but I wasn’t expecting for an answer. Is there even answer to it?
To: undefined
Last night, I had a dream where we were sitting at the table inside the school library where we always sat at together. You were holding my favourite book, and I was holding yours. There was no one else in the library besides us. Outside, it was buzzing. A soccer game was probably going on, but we were never really interested in it, were we? Everything in that dream was normal, except you and I both were adults.
To: undefined
I should have said something to comfort you the night when you called to tell me that you were moving away. If only I had held onto you tightly, would things have been different for us?
To: undefined
If each of my text messages can bring us 1 centimeter closer to each other, I would send one every second.
To: undefined
I am going to Seoul again. Maybe we will pass by each other amongst the crowd, maybe our trains will. I think I can recognize you just by looking at your back. I hope you haven’t forgotten about me.
To: undefined
From a nine year old Jinyoung, to a nine year old Suji: I love you.
From a twenty-five year old Jinyoung, to a twenty five year old Suji: I still love you.
jr/suzy, jr/sulli
1510 w, g
note: this is my take on 5 centimeters per second
“How much more do I have to lose, before my heart is forgiven?
How many more pains do I have to suffer, to meet you once again?”
Dear Jinyoung,
We have just finished unloading all boxes and furnitures, and too exhausted, my parents decided to rest for a while. I’m taking this opportunity to write this letter to you.
Incheon is not that much different from Seoul, except a lot calmer. Then again, we live away from the main city. My new house is slightly bigger, as well, with a big yard. While looking around the house, I kept thinking of finding the perfect spot for us to play together, only to realize belatedly that you are not here. I miss you already, Jinyoung. I hope every now and then, you can write to me so I wouldn’t feel that lonely.
Please do not forget about me.
Sincerely,
Suji
Dear Jinyoung,
I am adjusting well to my new school. It’s a lot smaller compared to our school in Seoul, and the library has less books, but I’m growing to be fond of it. My classmates are nice to me as well, so I managed to make friends easily. Still, sometimes when I look out the window from my seat to watch some boys from another class playing soccer at the field, I would try to find you among them.
Sincerely,
Suji
Dear Jinyoung,
Summer heat is already dissipating, and the colours of leaves are already changing. Looking at the yellowing leaves, I get reminded of the cherry blossom flowers we saw together on our way to school. Somehow, the memory feels so distant to me. We used to walk to and from school together every day, but I can no longer remember the details. The signboards, the shoplots, the shape of the lamp posts that I once pointed out. All of these are fading away from my mind. Am I fading away from your mind as well?
Sincerely,
Suji
Dear Jinyoung,
The first snow fell yesterday. Have you had the first snow? Out of habit, I pay attention to the weather forecast in Seoul, even though I never used to do that when I was still there. Do you still remember when we were walking home and it suddenly rained so hard that we had to seek shelter at the police kiosk until your mother came to pick us up?
Please dress warmly and don’t catch a cold. I can’t be there to nurse you anymore.
Sincerely,
Suji
Dear Jinyoung,
It’s late, but Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. As I stared at the fireworks, I wondered if there was someone next to you. I hope there was.
Sincerely,
Suji
Dear Jinyoung,
Winter is melting away. I guess that means the flowers will start blooming soon. Last year, we made a promise to catch cherry blossom petals together on our first day of school, didn’t we?
Next to the school field, there is a huge cherry blossom tree. Someone told me it’s almost a century old. Isn’t it magnificent? It makes me wish that I could be reborn as a tree in my next life so I could always stay at the same spot.
Sincerely,
Suji
Dear Jinyoung,
Here are the petals I caught. How I wish I can be there with you. I’m sorry that I have to break our promise.
Sincerely,
Suji
Dear Jinyoung,
I have always loved you, and I think I always will. If only I had the courage to send all my letters to you, would things have been different for us?
Sincerely,
Suji
July 22
A new boy joined my class today. With a careful voice, he introduced himself as Jinyoung. He seems quiet and shy - I wonder if it’s because he’s from Seoul. He’s so different from the local boys who are mostly rough and loud - typical Busan kind. He didn’t even get mad when some kids teased his Seoul accent. During class, however, I noticed that he likes to stare out the window, and when he does, somehow he looks so… lonely.
August 7
He talked to me today. Jinyoung. For the first time since he transferred here.
At the library, he saw that I was trying to reach for a book at the topmost rack, so he went to look for a stool. But when he came back, he saw that I already managed to pull out that book by jumping. It made me slightly embarrassed, but he laughed good-heartedly, saying I reminded him of a friend of his. I didn’t ask, but from the way his smile lingered a second too long, I could guess that it was a dear friend.
“Jinri, right?” he asked later.
I was surprised that he knew my name since we never spoke to each other, but he said he tried to memorize everyone’s name as fast as possible. He told me that he didn’t really have friends in his previous school, so he want to make as many as he can here.
I wanted to tell him that I can be his friend here, but the bell rang then, so I just watched him go.
September 2
Without planning, we both stayed behind at school to do some work. The sun was almost setting when we were finally leaving, and Jinyoung insisted on walking me home. He asked me a strange question while we sat outside a convenience store on our way. “Do you know what is the distance between two hearts?” I was too taken aback to respond, but before I could think of an answer, he laughed and said it was just a silly random question. If it was, why did he look so serious when he asked that?
September 30
Ever since that day, Jinyoung walked me home from school every evening. He said the streets leading to my house are too dark and empty, so it’s dangerous for a girl to be walking alone. I told him I’m already used to it, but he insisted, saying he used to walk his friend home back then. I asked, in the most casual tone I could muster, if it was a special friend, and he just laughed.
He never answered my question.
November 12
Whenever I find Jinyoung alone, he would always be typing something on his phone. I asked him once, again in the most casual tone I could muster, if he was texting someone. He told me it’s no one important. If it is, why must he quickly shove his phone away whenever someone approaches him?
November 17
Jinyoung is so terribly kind. Sometimes as he smiles at me, my tears well up in my heart.
December 20
Why do I feel like he is drifting away everyday?
Was he ever here at all?
January 1
While watching the fireworks, I decided to gather my courage to confess to him. But one glance at his face as he stared at the painted night sky, I had my answer. Even when he is right beside me, I can never reach out to him.
To: undefined
The cherry blossom trees have bloomed. Last year, unaware of what future had planned for us, we made a promise to catch the petals together. I wish you were here.
To: undefined
The first thought that crossed my mind when Mother told me that we would be moving down to Busan was, we are getting further apart. From Seoul, Incheon is just a bus trip away, and I would arrive before the sun even sets. Busan, however, is a different story.
To: undefined
What is the distance between our hearts? I asked a friend of mine today, but I wasn’t expecting for an answer. Is there even answer to it?
To: undefined
Last night, I had a dream where we were sitting at the table inside the school library where we always sat at together. You were holding my favourite book, and I was holding yours. There was no one else in the library besides us. Outside, it was buzzing. A soccer game was probably going on, but we were never really interested in it, were we? Everything in that dream was normal, except you and I both were adults.
To: undefined
I should have said something to comfort you the night when you called to tell me that you were moving away. If only I had held onto you tightly, would things have been different for us?
To: undefined
If each of my text messages can bring us 1 centimeter closer to each other, I would send one every second.
To: undefined
I am going to Seoul again. Maybe we will pass by each other amongst the crowd, maybe our trains will. I think I can recognize you just by looking at your back. I hope you haven’t forgotten about me.
To: undefined
From a nine year old Jinyoung, to a nine year old Suji: I love you.
From a twenty-five year old Jinyoung, to a twenty five year old Suji: I still love you.