In My Life...
I usually don't write these kind of personal posts. And I know it sounds trite/cliche, but the last few days really have been quite the physical and emotional roller coaster ride for me. I've decided writing about it with the possibility of *someone* reading it is just something I need to do.
Those of you who could take or leave these kind of posts or who are TMI adverse should get out of line and head for the exit right now.
Those of you whose curiosity has been peaked or who would like to know things about me, should pull down and lock the bar in front of them, keep their arms and hands inside until the ride has stopped and hold on tight 'cause...
Starting up the Track - The Background
Recently my company went through yet another round of so-called right-sizing where, "This is exactly the team that will get us exactly where we want to be". So after the latest bloodbath, I am a department of one -- plus a Director... But that hardly counts does it... =P
We were also required to downsize our environment, going from a whole floor in our building, to about one-third of a floor. The biggest problem with this was that we had 6 years and 40-ish peoples worth of computers, chairs, books, papers, etc. to deal with. The survivors had their belongings moved by professionals, but there was still much Crap left in the Suite.
So, at the suggestion of the building management (who understandably want their space back), this past Wednesday, the whole office spent the day sorting, throwing out and hauling, computers, monitors, shelving, books, software(cds), filing cabinets, etc, etc. Afterward, I was totally exhausted.
The First Downhill Section
Thursday rolled in and we nursed all our wounds and got back to doing our actual work. I was feeling sore and unhappy all day culminating with sweating and severe pain in my chest. I was almost going to call for someone to take me to the doctor -- when I suddenly felt a bit better.
Woosh - Up the Next Grade
Well, I was relieved and when I thought about it a bit I realized what it must be. I have a reoccurring condition called Costochondritis which is basically an inflammation of the ligaments of the breastbone. I just needed some anti-inflammatory drugs from the doctor, so I called and made an appointment for Friday at 11:30.
Easy Coast Down
Of course, when I went in they took Xrays of my chest and gave me an EKG because that's what they do for chest pains. We looked over the Film and the EKG chart and everything looked fine, no swelling, nice heart rhythm, so the Doctor gave me a lab sheet for a few more blood tests to be done after I had fasted for 12 hours. Then she told me to just go home and take it easy.
Loop-de-Loop!
I went home, answered all my mail, and generally got my work done. Then around 5:30 I went to pick up my son. As we got back to the car I got a phone call. It was the doctor.
It seems that as per procedure, they had sent my EKG to a specialist for a formal reading. He found that I had a very faint "Q-Wave" which signals that I could have had a heart attack. The doctor asked if I could get over to the ER right away for more testing, maybe over night.
Well my heart started beating very fast at that moment and a wave a sweat covered my brow. What was I going to do with my Son? Why didn't this show up earlier? Was I now having another heart attack?
I made some phone calls, lined up a sitter and packed an overnight bag for just-in-case. The doctor then called back saying that their affiliated ER was full and they were sending people to other facilities. But, I could get a preliminary blood test done at the Urgent Care unit which would tell us for sure whether I actually had an attack or something else was going on.
Second Loop!
At 7pm I made my way over to the Urgent Care unit where I was assured it was a short wait for a technician. At 7:30 I asked where I was in the line and they discovered that they had lost the paperwork! This necessitated paging the doctor and getting authorization yet again.
At 8:00 my own personal vampire finally arrived and proceeded to take 2 vials of blood (1... 2... 2 Vials of Blood Ah, ah, ahh). He then said that they would tell the doctor the results in about two hours and then she'd call me. There was nothing to do except sit at home and wait...
By this time I was magnificently wound up and exhausted from stress. Great way to be if you've just had a heart attack! I tried to read, but couldn't see too well from the tears streaming down my face.
One Last Drop
Finally, the doctor called back...
EVERYTHING WAS NEGATIVE!!!
I hadn't had a heart attack! I didn't have to go to the ER/hospital! However, they want me on a treadmill test ASAP to see if there is something else going on that would have given the Q-Wave results. I still needed to go and get more blood tests. They also gave me an Acid Blocker called AcipHex to try and see if that relieved some of the pain.
Back to the Start
Well, I still don't really know what is wrong, but I'm feeling much better today, that's for sure. I hope what happens over the next week with the subsequent tests will give me a better picture of where I am...
Getting Back in Line?
So... Now what? I know for sure I need to try and reduce the stress in my life. Does this mean finding a different Job (which will create its own kind of stress)? Should I realign my priorities somehow? Should I worry less about what other people think? Do I in general care too much about too many things most of them wrong?
I also need to take care of my body better. I never really lost the weight I gained when I had my son and it's been 7 years. I certainly need more exercise, as being chair-bound most of the day has obviously taken its toll.
So how else am I going to change my life? I don't know yet. I wanted to follow advice I've gotten in the past about creating various lists of things like tasks to do, things I find important, values and goals. Then prioritizing the various lists.
But I'm not a big fan of lists. Maybe I should get over it...
I just know that I need to do something different with my life.
Any suggestions? =}
Those of you who could take or leave these kind of posts or who are TMI adverse should get out of line and head for the exit right now.
Those of you whose curiosity has been peaked or who would like to know things about me, should pull down and lock the bar in front of them, keep their arms and hands inside until the ride has stopped and hold on tight 'cause...
Starting up the Track - The Background
Recently my company went through yet another round of so-called right-sizing where, "This is exactly the team that will get us exactly where we want to be". So after the latest bloodbath, I am a department of one -- plus a Director... But that hardly counts does it... =P
We were also required to downsize our environment, going from a whole floor in our building, to about one-third of a floor. The biggest problem with this was that we had 6 years and 40-ish peoples worth of computers, chairs, books, papers, etc. to deal with. The survivors had their belongings moved by professionals, but there was still much Crap left in the Suite.
So, at the suggestion of the building management (who understandably want their space back), this past Wednesday, the whole office spent the day sorting, throwing out and hauling, computers, monitors, shelving, books, software(cds), filing cabinets, etc, etc. Afterward, I was totally exhausted.
The First Downhill Section
Thursday rolled in and we nursed all our wounds and got back to doing our actual work. I was feeling sore and unhappy all day culminating with sweating and severe pain in my chest. I was almost going to call for someone to take me to the doctor -- when I suddenly felt a bit better.
Woosh - Up the Next Grade
Well, I was relieved and when I thought about it a bit I realized what it must be. I have a reoccurring condition called Costochondritis which is basically an inflammation of the ligaments of the breastbone. I just needed some anti-inflammatory drugs from the doctor, so I called and made an appointment for Friday at 11:30.
Easy Coast Down
Of course, when I went in they took Xrays of my chest and gave me an EKG because that's what they do for chest pains. We looked over the Film and the EKG chart and everything looked fine, no swelling, nice heart rhythm, so the Doctor gave me a lab sheet for a few more blood tests to be done after I had fasted for 12 hours. Then she told me to just go home and take it easy.
Loop-de-Loop!
I went home, answered all my mail, and generally got my work done. Then around 5:30 I went to pick up my son. As we got back to the car I got a phone call. It was the doctor.
It seems that as per procedure, they had sent my EKG to a specialist for a formal reading. He found that I had a very faint "Q-Wave" which signals that I could have had a heart attack. The doctor asked if I could get over to the ER right away for more testing, maybe over night.
Well my heart started beating very fast at that moment and a wave a sweat covered my brow. What was I going to do with my Son? Why didn't this show up earlier? Was I now having another heart attack?
I made some phone calls, lined up a sitter and packed an overnight bag for just-in-case. The doctor then called back saying that their affiliated ER was full and they were sending people to other facilities. But, I could get a preliminary blood test done at the Urgent Care unit which would tell us for sure whether I actually had an attack or something else was going on.
Second Loop!
At 7pm I made my way over to the Urgent Care unit where I was assured it was a short wait for a technician. At 7:30 I asked where I was in the line and they discovered that they had lost the paperwork! This necessitated paging the doctor and getting authorization yet again.
At 8:00 my own personal vampire finally arrived and proceeded to take 2 vials of blood (1... 2... 2 Vials of Blood Ah, ah, ahh). He then said that they would tell the doctor the results in about two hours and then she'd call me. There was nothing to do except sit at home and wait...
By this time I was magnificently wound up and exhausted from stress. Great way to be if you've just had a heart attack! I tried to read, but couldn't see too well from the tears streaming down my face.
One Last Drop
Finally, the doctor called back...
EVERYTHING WAS NEGATIVE!!!
I hadn't had a heart attack! I didn't have to go to the ER/hospital! However, they want me on a treadmill test ASAP to see if there is something else going on that would have given the Q-Wave results. I still needed to go and get more blood tests. They also gave me an Acid Blocker called AcipHex to try and see if that relieved some of the pain.
Back to the Start
Well, I still don't really know what is wrong, but I'm feeling much better today, that's for sure. I hope what happens over the next week with the subsequent tests will give me a better picture of where I am...
Getting Back in Line?
So... Now what? I know for sure I need to try and reduce the stress in my life. Does this mean finding a different Job (which will create its own kind of stress)? Should I realign my priorities somehow? Should I worry less about what other people think? Do I in general care too much about too many things most of them wrong?
I also need to take care of my body better. I never really lost the weight I gained when I had my son and it's been 7 years. I certainly need more exercise, as being chair-bound most of the day has obviously taken its toll.
So how else am I going to change my life? I don't know yet. I wanted to follow advice I've gotten in the past about creating various lists of things like tasks to do, things I find important, values and goals. Then prioritizing the various lists.
But I'm not a big fan of lists. Maybe I should get over it...
I just know that I need to do something different with my life.
Any suggestions? =}