Middle Of Fucking Nowhere.
So, he's over at Heather's, helping her paint. This time without Matt. And he says he won't be here until sometime after midnight. He told me he was going over to his grandparents house. Yeah, I didn't go. Maybe he didn't want me to.
I'm just that safe, aren't I? Of course I'll just wait around for him to come home. Of course I won't ever cheat on him or do something heinous to break his heart.
I'm the fucking Convenience Girlfriend, aren't I?!
Fuck that. Fuck it all, the whole god-damned thing. I'm really getting tired of hurting about this!
Maybe it is coming to an end. I can already feel the apathy to the whole fucking situation sneaking in and rotting away at my mind.
(When we talked yesterday, I asked him flat out if he was attracted to Heather. He told me no. Firstly, I don't believe him. Secondly: What the hell am I supposed to think about this then? I can only relate his sudden foot dragging to her, because that's all I really have to go on. You aren't attracted to her? Then why the fuck do you keep going over there without me!? Am I over reacting?)
This time I'm betting more than just a case of wounded pride, and I don't fucking like that. I don't like high-risk stakes when my heart and my peace of mind are concerned.
Fuck that.
I'm just that safe, aren't I? Of course I'll just wait around for him to come home. Of course I won't ever cheat on him or do something heinous to break his heart.
I'm the fucking Convenience Girlfriend, aren't I?!
Fuck that. Fuck it all, the whole god-damned thing. I'm really getting tired of hurting about this!
Maybe it is coming to an end. I can already feel the apathy to the whole fucking situation sneaking in and rotting away at my mind.
(When we talked yesterday, I asked him flat out if he was attracted to Heather. He told me no. Firstly, I don't believe him. Secondly: What the hell am I supposed to think about this then? I can only relate his sudden foot dragging to her, because that's all I really have to go on. You aren't attracted to her? Then why the fuck do you keep going over there without me!? Am I over reacting?)
This time I'm betting more than just a case of wounded pride, and I don't fucking like that. I don't like high-risk stakes when my heart and my peace of mind are concerned.
Fuck that.