megan awards: 2006 vmas
some of you may remember the MEGAN AWARDS: 2005 Grammys, in which i gave out awards based on what happened during the ceremony. well, i'm doing it again, but this time, with the 2006 VMAs.
worst dress- jessica simpson's little black number that looked like a one-piece bathing suit from the 50's. and it's not like she still has her daisy duke body to pull it off with.
worst dressed male- axl rose, with his button down shirt that was... un-buttoned down. very nastily, i might add. not attractive, axl.
ugliest hat- it's a tie between jlo's shower cap thing and P!ATD's brendon urie's mad-hatter-on-crack thing. *shudder*
best sideburns- ludacris (any reason for me to give him awards, man)
worst possible win- pussycat dolls' "buttons" beating out madonna's "hung up" for best dance video. PCD can NOT call what they did dancing. it was stripping, and we all know it. besides, who the fuck thinks they can outdance madonna? i'm so mad about that.
craziest bitch- beyonce. her performance (and song) should be proof enough that she needs to be baker acted.
most random moment- justin timberlake installing shelves in jack black's dressing room. that was awesome.
best use of "bringing sexy back"- al gore. "i wasn't going to come, but then mtv told me that justin timberlake was bringing sexy back". AWESOME.
worst use of "bringing sexy back"- jared leto. "bringing sexy back... you know what i mean?" yes. we know what you mean. shut your mouth.
dumbest looking presenters- amy lee & jared leto. all they wore was black. that's it. and it didn't even look good. it looked plain. now, i dont give a fuck about amy lee, but jared leto, come on. i love 30 seconds, and i love you. dont fuck me over again, man. you already got two strikes.
the only artist who deserved the award they won- afi.
not really a new artist- avenged sevenfold. do your effing research, mtv. city of evil, which is the album that "bat country" is on, is avenged sevenfold's 5th album.
worst performance- okgo. that wasn't a performance. they played their song over the pa system and then ran on treadmills.
best performance- tenacious d. and everything leading up to that performance was awesome. "you brought the thunder. the thunder of friendship."
best new member in a group- kyle gass in the black eyed peas. that was great. jack black: you're not in the black eyed peas! kyle gass: i am now, because apparently you're too famous for me.
most ungrateful bitch- pink. did anyone else see the face she made when they announced she won? she scowled.
the best "someone's getting yelled at later" moment- during missy elliot's performance, she got hit with a dancer's umbrella. if that was me, i would've bitchslapped that hoe.
the second worst performance- panic! at the disco. i'm chiming in with "haven't you ever heard of TOO MUCH VIBRATO?!" no. they haven't. oh well. when they hit puberty, their tones should even out.
most pregnant looking- fergie. her dress made her look pregnant. and i'm taking this time to mention that i hate "london bridge" and she should stick with the black eyed peas. solo? NOlo.
most inappropriate part of a performance- t.i. brought out children to sing the chorus to "what you know" while he went on his happy ass way, cussing and rapping about stupid shit. way to go.
most ironic moment- weeman called bam margera a midget, and then hit him in the nuts.
most edited award presentation- the jackass boys. that shit was so obviously cut up. and i felt like i missed out on something wildly inappropriate and possibly hilairous.
band with the best facial hair- the killers.
most PSA-esque moment- al gore talking about global warming. not saying it's a bad thing, just saying it's a weird thing.
most useless celebrity- sarah silverman. she did NOTHING. it was stupid.
most undeserved award- panic! at the disco winning the video of the year. WHY DO ALL THESE BITCHES THINK THEY'RE BETTER THAN MADONNA?! fuck you, mtv and fans. you're all stupid.
worst dress- jessica simpson's little black number that looked like a one-piece bathing suit from the 50's. and it's not like she still has her daisy duke body to pull it off with.
worst dressed male- axl rose, with his button down shirt that was... un-buttoned down. very nastily, i might add. not attractive, axl.
ugliest hat- it's a tie between jlo's shower cap thing and P!ATD's brendon urie's mad-hatter-on-crack thing. *shudder*
best sideburns- ludacris (any reason for me to give him awards, man)
worst possible win- pussycat dolls' "buttons" beating out madonna's "hung up" for best dance video. PCD can NOT call what they did dancing. it was stripping, and we all know it. besides, who the fuck thinks they can outdance madonna? i'm so mad about that.
craziest bitch- beyonce. her performance (and song) should be proof enough that she needs to be baker acted.
most random moment- justin timberlake installing shelves in jack black's dressing room. that was awesome.
best use of "bringing sexy back"- al gore. "i wasn't going to come, but then mtv told me that justin timberlake was bringing sexy back". AWESOME.
worst use of "bringing sexy back"- jared leto. "bringing sexy back... you know what i mean?" yes. we know what you mean. shut your mouth.
dumbest looking presenters- amy lee & jared leto. all they wore was black. that's it. and it didn't even look good. it looked plain. now, i dont give a fuck about amy lee, but jared leto, come on. i love 30 seconds, and i love you. dont fuck me over again, man. you already got two strikes.
the only artist who deserved the award they won- afi.
not really a new artist- avenged sevenfold. do your effing research, mtv. city of evil, which is the album that "bat country" is on, is avenged sevenfold's 5th album.
worst performance- okgo. that wasn't a performance. they played their song over the pa system and then ran on treadmills.
best performance- tenacious d. and everything leading up to that performance was awesome. "you brought the thunder. the thunder of friendship."
best new member in a group- kyle gass in the black eyed peas. that was great. jack black: you're not in the black eyed peas! kyle gass: i am now, because apparently you're too famous for me.
most ungrateful bitch- pink. did anyone else see the face she made when they announced she won? she scowled.
the best "someone's getting yelled at later" moment- during missy elliot's performance, she got hit with a dancer's umbrella. if that was me, i would've bitchslapped that hoe.
the second worst performance- panic! at the disco. i'm chiming in with "haven't you ever heard of TOO MUCH VIBRATO?!" no. they haven't. oh well. when they hit puberty, their tones should even out.
most pregnant looking- fergie. her dress made her look pregnant. and i'm taking this time to mention that i hate "london bridge" and she should stick with the black eyed peas. solo? NOlo.
most inappropriate part of a performance- t.i. brought out children to sing the chorus to "what you know" while he went on his happy ass way, cussing and rapping about stupid shit. way to go.
most ironic moment- weeman called bam margera a midget, and then hit him in the nuts.
most edited award presentation- the jackass boys. that shit was so obviously cut up. and i felt like i missed out on something wildly inappropriate and possibly hilairous.
band with the best facial hair- the killers.
most PSA-esque moment- al gore talking about global warming. not saying it's a bad thing, just saying it's a weird thing.
most useless celebrity- sarah silverman. she did NOTHING. it was stupid.
most undeserved award- panic! at the disco winning the video of the year. WHY DO ALL THESE BITCHES THINK THEY'RE BETTER THAN MADONNA?! fuck you, mtv and fans. you're all stupid.